My Secret Hiding Place

Leave me alone, I beg you..

2011-08-28T10:20:00.001-07:00

'She was a smart girl, until she fell in love'
-sex and the city-

No, I wasn't smart but this love for you has brought me even deeper into my very own stupidity.
Look at myself!!
How many times have you said 'I love you' in a very casual and meaningless way.
How many times have you said that I'm on the top -very top- of your friend list.
How many times have you easily told me about your family problems.
How many times have I told myself not to contact you, not to think about you, to hate you and to forget you. But I'm always back to square one because you always messaged me every time you were back in town - as if to let me know that you were here.
How many times have you reminded me of how care you are about me. You ordered me a vegetable dish because you remembered I can't eat without it, you asked me whether I was at my grandparents' just because I usually was on Sundays, you asked me why I wasn't asleep at 11pm because you knew I was always asleep at 10pm, you sent me a picture of my favourite dish.
What was that for?? All of those things!!
If you take me just as a friend, that is too much!!
Just get lost, and come back when you are ready to behave yourself.
How many times I've cried myself to sleep just because I needed you to be there for me but you just couldn't.
How many times I've cried on my hard days and wanted to hug you but I cried even louder because I couldn't and I didn't -and dont- have the right to!!
Apparently, that's how it feels to be a mistress.
Well, you have caused me that much pain and tears.
I just need a few words from you to make all these clear.
Please don't prolong the suffering and just leave me alone.
I beg you.
Please...

Academic intelligence vs Social Intelligence

2011-05-24T08:42:00.000-07:00

Well, I have this one 'interesting' friend.
He is damn smart and nobody will dare to doubt it.

But then, few months ago we went on a trip with friends. One day, his sister called him and seemed like his sister had some problems with her husband. I was losing respect to him for a lot of things that happened before but it fell more rapidly when he pushed the phone towards me and whisper to me,"Listen to her talking..so nyap nyap nyap!!"
I was like, What the hell, dude!!! That's your sister sharing her private life with you how could you do something like that??
What surprised me the most was towards the end of the conversation he told her sister,"Yah..be patient. For the moment, you can just go back to mom's place.."
WHHAATTT??!! You are 32 years old for god sake and you tell your married sister to go back to your parents' place???? Guess you couldnt blame your brother in law for divorcing your sister if he chose to do so... So immature!!

The other day, my friends and I went to a friend's wedding and yeah he was there.
It was a typical Indo-Chinese wedding sitting on a round table.
The ambiance was fine, the drinks were fine, and so were the jokes until the restaurant started to serve the food.
The soup!!
Ever since I was a kid my mom always told me not to dip my own cutlery into whatever things we share with the rest of the table unless they are your close relatives, even then my mom still sometimes prohibited me to do so.. Not to let myself get used to it, my mom would say.
I was damn shocked when he dipped his soup spoon into the soy sauce in the middle of the round table right in front of everyone with no guilty feeling. WWHHHOOOZZZ!!!! how old is this guy again???????? T.H.I.R.T.Y.T.W.O!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! danggg!!

and yes, he often pees on the toilet seater!!!!! missing some levels of his toilet training back then, I guess...

and if I happen to tell him that I have this weird student he will tell me, "some weirdos exist, Vania. Some people just cant put themselves right in the society. They just cant socialize well"
Well, mate, good luck with yourself!!!

I suppose when I have my own kids Im not going to push them to be academic geniuses...
I want them to be socially intelligent since apparently academic intelligence itself is not enough..

The way I keep telling myself

2011-05-24T08:34:00.000-07:00

I keep telling myself that there will be a come-back
I keep telling myself that he is feeling it too
I keep telling myself that all this is just a distraction
I keep telling myself that one day I will wake up and find everything is perfectly fine and in place
I keep telling myself that one day I will be different and so will he
I keep telling myself to stop feeling and start thinking

I guess I just keep telling lies to myself

Who are we to judge??

2011-02-08T15:54:00.000-08:00

Well, after the death of Adjie Massaid, as usual, people start to talk about him and his family.
People start to question the cause of his death - a heart attack or being poisoned.
It's been hard enough for those who still live without people making his death a public issue.
Worse come to worst, some people blame his wife's (Angelina Sondakh) change of religion. She was a Christian but since getting married she changed to Moslem.
Some people even go to the extent to send broadcast blackberry message to spread those words.
Hey people, who are we to judge her change of religion?? Who are we to say that all this happened because she shifted from Christian to Moslem??
Have you ever thought that if you say all this happened as a punishment, it means our God is a God who punish His people?? If He is really like that then He might punish you for what you say. What comes around goes around, son!! Talk about this poor family, one day yours might be one.
This is a free country, if one wants to change one's religion, why do you have to care that much. Or maybe do we now have different gods for different religions?? Because I used to think we only have one God only with different names.

This is what my uneducated but unluckily one of my family members sent:
"Apapun di dunia ini bs kita beli,
Bahkan cinta dgn mudah bs di dapat,
Tp Tidak ada seorangpun yg dpt membeli kasih Tuhan !
Dan dpt menjadi seorang Sahabat yg rela memberikan nyawanya untuk mati di atas kayu salib bagi kita.
Qta harus membuka mata untuk melihat kenyataan ini, Angelina Sondakh, lahir dr keluarga Kristen, dibesarkan dgn landasan kekristenan yg kuat, tumbuh menjadi sosok yg pandai karena berkat Tuhan. Ia pernah bersaksi bahwa Tuhan itu luar biasa, bahkan sehari sebelum ia terpilih menjadi Putri Indonesia, ia sempat berpuasa. Intim dgn Tuhan adalah prioritas hidupnya saat itu. Tp setelah ia ada di puncak kesuksesannya, setelah Tuhan mengangkatnya, ia terpesona pada cinta yg dunia tawarkan, Adjie Masaid, adalah pilihan akhirnya, membuat dia membuang Tuhan..:( Saat ini dibalik tangisannya ada rasa penyesalan, bahwa.. 'Seseorang dpt meninggalkan Qta dgn keadaan seperti apapun itu, tp Tuhan yg Qta kenal adlh Tuhan yg selalu ada sekalipun Qta sdh tak lg setia pd-Nya..'
Untuk Adjie Masaid "Rest in Peace" O:)
Untuk Angelina Sondakh "Remember the Grace of Jesus in all the aspect in Ur Life".({}) *Kesedihan yg dia rasakan saat ini sama spt yg Yesus rasakan ketika dia meninggalkanNya.*O:)"

Such a shame my uncle married such a narrow-minded woman at the first place..

Life is Good......... Sometimes

2011-01-31T23:06:00.000-08:00

Well,
There are times in life when you would just opt to die.
There are also times when you would feel like showing your biggest smile to the sun above.
Hard days, good days, are nothing without friends.
Life is like a blank piece of white paper.
To colour it with vivid colours is your call, to colour it in black is also your call, or you might as well just torn it apart.
The more friends one have, the more colour one can choose to use.
My life, is full of vivid and dull colours; and that much, I wont exchange for anything.
Im just grateful that I live my life.
It's beautiful.

What I miss..

2011-01-30T16:55:00.000-08:00

On Mondays I miss the time I skipped the Modelling in Finance 8am lectures.
On Tuesdays I miss the cheap movies and the usual magazine reading in Borders over a cup of white hot chocolate.
On Wednesdays I miss the cell groups.
On Thursdays I miss the thank-God-tomorrow-is-Friday feeling and the
have-a-nice-weekend from my lecturers.
On Fridays I miss the dinners with the Sedjahtera sisters and the late journeys home.
On Saturdays I miss going to St Augustine then dinners then sleepovers at the Sedjahteras'.
On Sundays I miss going to St Francis for the 1230 mass or 1730 mass.

On hot days I miss staying at home watching youtube searching for unique ads.
On cold days I miss wearing the thick jacket.

I indeed miss Melbourne..

My oh my...

2011-01-11T17:51:00.000-08:00

While Indonesia's House of Representative is being built with IDR 4.6billion of fund - equipped with a gym and a swimming pool, a lot of the citizens find it hard to earn IDR 9thousand.
I read this newspaper article about a 65yo gramps who felt grateful that he was in prison since he,now, can eat three times a day without miss. He was busted selling the coupons; they are illegit here.
In the end, the utmost question is then, how can this country expect to reduce its crime rate while the criminals are better off in prison.

I'm Tired..

2011-01-10T06:04:00.000-08:00

I fought with my mom again; the usual fight.
When I was 10 she always told me that I'm the root of all her problems. She blamed me for not being able to work, she blamed me for causing her to be scolded by my grandpa.
When I was 13, she told me that she hated me -and she meant it- and that she only took care of me because I'm her daughter.
When I was 15, one morning I went out of shower I heard she was angry to my brother and told him, 'don't be like your sister!!'
When I was 17, she didn't accompany me to Melbourne while few years later she accompanied my brother to Malaysia. For weeks after, she couldn't stop telling me how lucky that she was there with my brother because of his visa problem. Who accompanied me when I had to fight with my hostparents? Who was there with me when my hostparent insulted me?
When I was 21, when I had a problem with one of my housemates, I would call her and cried and begged her to come to Melbourne to at least cheer me up; 'I can't, the tickets are expensive' that was her answer. Those tickets even worth more than I am.
When I am 22, she always accuses me for being obnoxious and just because now I can work and she feels I always blame her.
I think even one day God nominated me as one of His angels, she will still blame me for things.
Was it such a mistake to be born as me???

When I was 11, one Sunday afternoon, as I was pretending to sleep, she stroke my hair; I still remember that happy feeling..
And never again does she do that..

IT'S NEW YEAR!!!

2010-12-31T17:06:00.001-08:00

It's new year, folksss!!! :D
A new year has begun; A new chapter of our life has been started.
Let the gone begone.
We've finish our fight for last year gracefully.
We hurt each other during the process.
However, let's just wipe the tears and turn the pout into a big smile in starting this new race.
Let's forgive and forget!!
Take a blank piece of paper and a nice pen; write 'Chapter 2011' at the very top of it and off we go embracing the new life.
Welcome to 2011.
Have a nice year ahead, guys.. :D

The standard Questions

2010-12-31T10:02:00.001-08:00

The Indonesian has this habit of asking very personal and private questions concerning one's life regardless whether the questions being addressed are appropriate..
The typical questions:
1. Have you have a gf/bf?
2. Where is your gf/bf?
3. Did you gain weight?
4. What is your weight now? *by this point I would say F off if I could*
5. Graduated from uni?what was your GPA?? *what does it have to do with you?*
6. Working now?where?how much is your salary? *I do HATE talking about financial matters to strangers*

Why can't they just leave out this habit of asking private useless questions?
What's with the kaypoh-ness?

Compliment someone all the time without thinking too much; criticize someone only when you have thought about it seven times seven times seven times...

I'm so proud of him

2010-12-29T23:54:00.001-08:00

So,
Him??who is he??my 9yo cousin!!
He was talking to his sister suddenly he said 'Here comes the plane!!'
So then I called him over and asked him what if the object was 'the planeS'
Sure as hell he answered 'Here come!'
Hahahaha..I'm proud as hell.. :D

Waiting Is Painful

2010-12-18T23:44:00.001-08:00

When we are dreaming with a broken heart, waking up is the hardest part
I wasn't born with the ability to guess what's in your head.
Let me know!!
While u keep getting confused, I keep waiting and waiting and waiting.
When the perfect picture shattered, when the flawless dream fell into pieces, that's when I stopped dreaming about the future.
I will go where the crowds go.
Hope you can spot me amongst them, one day....
And let me know when you do so, so I know where to look for you.
Warm Regards,
Vania Sumargo

Enjoying Life

2010-12-03T20:56:00.000-08:00

I don't have anything to say right now..
Am enjoying my life doing a job that is not accounting.
Am happy because I found the person I've been looking for for this 10 years - my godbrother. He's back and I am very happy and so is my family.
Nothing else I can say..:)
My life is perfect for the time being.. :)

Road Courtesy

2010-11-03T22:50:00.000-07:00

I laughed out loud when I read this letter-from-reader that Reader's Digest posted.

"Apparently, while it is considered rude to use the horn in many countries, here in the Philippines it's considered a sign of 'courtesy'. The manner of honking too, conveys different messages:
1. Two short and soft honks - 'Oops, careful! You're getting too close to my car.'
2. Two hort but loud honks - 'Hey, get out of the way!'
3. One very long, loud and persistent honk - 'Hey, how did you even get your licence?'"
--Maria Suga A. Doiko, Philippines--

Now, Indonesians, does this story ring a bell in your head?
Feeling deja vu??
Were you the doer, were you the victim?? =)

I am still smiling; realizing that I was always -and will always be- the doer..:P

Kthxbai..

2010-10-26T18:55:00.000-07:00

So,
That's all I am to you.
Just a friend who you cherish, care about, and the one 'on the top of the list'.
You treated me that way without realizing what you did to me.
You have ruined my very life that I have -with extreme effort- put in order.
Now, look at yourself.
Listen to what you are saying.
You are betraying your own ideal.
You are betraying your-very-self.
All those dreams you told me, about you, about your family, you brother you love dearly.
Where have they gone??

I dont want to dance with the mystery anymore because mystery was just a mystery I cant unveil.

The value of honesty

2010-10-15T10:24:00.001-07:00

So,
I had just finished photocopying some documents and was about to go back home when I realize there was one car parked behind my car; paralel parking!!
Seeing that I was about to go out the tukang parkir helped me push the car so that my car could go out.
Pushing a car is never an easy job even for a man.
I know that place is a free-parking place; nevertheless, I still want to give him at least IDR1000 for his hard work.
Guess what happened??!!
He turned down my money.
He TURNED DOWN my money... He said 'It's free, Mbak'
I was stunned for a few seconds; can't believe what I just heard.
I smiled to him and said an I-really-meant-it Thank You. That was the first whole-hearted thank-you I ever said to someone else since I came back here; a thank you for giving me such an amazing experience.
That was really a very powerful moment.
I know it was just IDR1000; it won't buy even a pack of cigarette. Still, who turned down money??!! Especially those tukang parkir-s.
Geezz..good people still do exist in this dog eat dog country.
It's just a matter of opening our mind to new, exciting things.
Don't blind yourselves with discrimination or else you will be unable to see how beautiful this world can be =)

Where OUR Rainbows End

2010-09-23T03:30:00.000-07:00

YES, I've been twenty two for a week..

which means this is the 5th commemoration of my granddad's death.
I had a strange dream about him last night.
Woken up crying and keep crying for a good 30 minutes or so.

And I've just finished reading this book.
'Sometimes Fate Just Can't Stop Meddling'
YES YES YES!! I pray, I hope our fate will not stop meddling and one day we will be together just like Rossie Dunne and Alex Stewart...

*Fingers Crossed*

I wish, I pray, I dream

2010-09-13T07:47:00.000-07:00

I pray so hard for a job.
I pray so hard for you to be here with me.
I pray so hard so that one day I can fulfill all my dreams.
I pray even harder for you to realize that I am right here waiting for you to recognize me.

If only I CAN have them all by this weekend, how happy I WILL be..

I would only dare to dream the simplest thing on earth..
I could only wish I could peek into God's book of life. If HE has it.
I've reached my limit. I'm sure that you had your reasons, but waiting has never been harder than this. TRUST me!!
I could be more patient IF I knew the end of the story.
Would it be a HAPPY EVER AFTER??

But today, let me first wish Happy B'day to my brother..
May all your wishes do come true..

Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars?
I could really use a wish right now, wish right now, wish right now.
- B.O.B Airplanes -

Days Without You

2010-08-16T03:22:00.000-07:00

I might not be the one.
I might not have all the things you want in a girl.
But here I am with all that I have.
Waiting and waiting.
One day when you realise that not all that you want can come true, talk to me.
Together we'll find a way...
Because I feel the comfort with you.
I feel the feeling with you.
I feel happy when you're around.
I feel you..

False Attention, False Affection

2010-08-15T09:08:00.000-07:00

So,
Although he kept talking about his past I didnt mind.
Although he kept talking about someone else I didnt mind.
But then came days without those topics.
Deep down inside I know the topic has not finished, but I hope it has..Somehow...
The question is how prepared was I??NOT so much..
He is talking about looking back on to his past again.
Here I am thinking what I can do if he really did.
I guess I can only sit and watch.
My friends have warned me not to keep my hopes up.
But here I am bleeding inside, laughing outside.
Here I am wounded when reality finally pulled me down and hit me hard.
What should I do???

Storm and Friendship

2010-08-10T09:57:00.000-07:00

So,
I went out with my girls.
Three of us.
On the way home, we recalled the story of our life. This is our favourite story..
The 6 yo story of the day when my BESTESTfriend of 10 year stopped talking to me.
The reason for that kept unknown until now.
This might be the biggest mistery that I will keep asking until the day I die, seriously!
This remains a big question for the people who know us, involved or not.

Stories behind the stage has come out one by one.
The new interesting fact I found out today is that one of our friend whom I thought was the kinda friend who doesnt care at all about this problem, went back home crying.
She was crying.
She is the kind of person, whom even today, still best known for her expresionless face.
She can conceal her feeling perfectly. No matter how sad, how happy, she always have that 'standardised' face.
But that day she went back to my other friend's home crying.
To her, I give my bigest thank you and deepest apology.
But honestly, your tears were my biggest support even today.

I know there is no way to restore this friendship.
I have done the best on my part, but it takes two to resurect a relationship.
I believe I have done and still doing my best and I will surrender the rest to God.

The biggest storm in my life.
A storm that set apart two best friends.
But from the debris grows a stronger friendship, a more beautiful one because it has gone through the bad time.
Another storm might still come but I believe it wont set us apart like before..;)

Dedicated to taciks.. :D
Nice evening with you guys.
Feli, if you read this be sure to feel JEALOUS because you werent there with us!!!:P

I am embarassed..

2010-08-10T04:24:00.001-07:00

So,
It was just yesterday I posted an entry about how you can be proud of your family.
But now, here I am, feeling angry, embarassed, hatred, mixed together.
I hate this uncle of mine who because of his total stupidity has ruined this used-to-be happy family.
This uncle has attempted suicide before but God saved him.
How much I hope God didnt save him that time.
Why did God have to do so if this is to happen???!!

I am so embarassed of him.
What will happen if one day I, my brother, and other cousins are about to get married??
What will our in laws think of us?of our family??

DAMMITTT!!!
I hate this uncle.
If only killing people were not a sin I would go and kill him right at this very moment.
SHITT!!
Why God created such people???!!!

These Proud Feelings

2010-08-08T18:18:00.000-07:00

So,
I was talking to my friend yesterday.
This friend has a brother who is blind.
Despite his imperfection he is very talented in music.
But one thing I can tell, his family is very proud of him and not slightest hint of embarrassment.

Suddenly, it reminds me of my brother.
He has no such imperfection.
But from when we were little, I was the one who always achieve something.
I was always the one who won the music competition.
I was always the kid who was always in the top 10 of the class.
He was always the underdog.
But now he is a better musician than I am. He plays guitar and he learned it himself through books, youtube and friends. Never once he has a formal lesson for guitar.
He is the one who has GPA above 3.
He is the one has the dream to be a 'cum laude'
Im so proud of him!! :)
and I miss him..
This house is way too quiet when he is not around..:(

Dearest Friends

2010-07-25T20:52:00.000-07:00

So,
This has been a long due post.
I am back in Indonesia now, for good.
It's kinda sad to know that now Im separated that far away with my friends.
However, it's also a relieve that finally I made a life-changing decision and fulfill it.

So, Dear my friends:
AmS: Im gonna miss you so much. Be strong!!Being a coordinator for something big like that is not easy...You need to learn how to make a decision. Remember, dont keep sacrificing yourself. Dont be soft-hearted.

AdS: Im gonna miss going to mass with you. Im going to miss our cafe sessions, our 'curhat' sessions, our gossip sessions. You guys are already like a sister to me.

SP: Ndut, come back to Indo ASAP!!!!!!!!!! :D

AD: You have made my every morning with your sarcastic jokes ever since I know you. You are the first guy who gave me middle-finger twice in two months time since we were introduced. I will never forget that!!NEVER!!:p

SHS: Thanks for all your help and advices...Though you are one of my friends who always prank me, but yes, I miss those pranks.... >.<

LN: We'll meet in Indo in October..:D

EH: You owe me a dinner in Indo...:P

JA, LO: Tututtt!! I miss you already.... =(

AAng, VA: Im so going to miss our pointless talk at nights.... you guys are my most dependable friends...

BH: When charm and glasses come together, there you are! =D
You've charmed me with your coolness and jokes..=D

CJ: Sorry if I've ever hurt you and made you cry...U still are one of my most dependable friends..:D

Last but not least,
SG: Dont cryyyyyy!!! We'll meet again in Indo one day...=)

Those name are not here doesnt mean I dont miss you..
I just can't find words to describe..;)

Im so gonna miss Melbourne.
In fact, when I wake up to day and start to plan my day, I still put daily mass at 530pm on my list and when I realised I cant do that anymore I cant help but cried..
Our friendship is gonna be so different now..

What is unspokeable by my mouth is expressed by my tears.
Life is gonna be so different now, Im going to face different challenge each and every day and only few of my friends here is going to understand what I am going through because they dont see me everyday like you guys do.

So long, farewell, auf wiedersehen, goodbye.
Im sure one day we'll meet again =D
At least I have that much faith in God..

All my bags are packed

2010-07-13T07:24:00.000-07:00

So,
All my bags are packed.
All my clothes are packed.
All my shoes are packed.
And so are all my books.
Im ready to go.
Im standing here in the rather-empty room.
With empty heart.
That does not want to leave Melbourne just yet.

Today, I got an email from a big food company in Indonesia to attend their presentation and English test session on the 20th.
My ticket is for 25th and I dont know if I have the heart to leave Melbourne early.
I dont think I do.
So, what should I do, folks??

And today, talking to you has made my day..=)
You made me smile, you made me laugh.
You entertain me.
It's you..=)

The D Day

2010-07-11T05:57:00.000-07:00

So,
As the departure day come closer, my tears seem to be the only way for me to express myself.
I was crying so hard in my prayer today at the mass.
I have no words to say to God.
I am always the person who speaks through words and actions now seem to lost all those ability to express my true feeling.
Only tears spoke the unspoken.
The fear.
The self-doubt.
The uncertainty.
But one thing I know, my friends' prayer will always be with me, and so do mine with them and only then that I will not be separated from Melbourne.

From Mt Gambier to Mt Buller to my anger

2010-07-05T05:14:00.001-07:00

So,
After last time's trip to Mornington, we planned another trip on 9th of July.
We've planned this right after we came back from Mornington.
We have reserved that date since what seems to be eons ago..
That time, the choices were either Mt Gambier of Grampians.
So, I told them no, i dont want to go to Grampians.
So, we were going to Mt Gmbier which is 7 hours away from Melbourne.

Few days before our departure, this friend of mine was complaining that she got motion sickness so she preferred not to travel that long distance.
So for 2 people we shifted from Mt Gambier to Mt Buller.
Now what happened????
Both of those people are not going..!!
They backed out from this trip..
Just nice!!!!!

YES, I am very angry, guys!!

2010-07-04T06:09:00.000-07:00

So,
Last night I already told my friend lets attend 12.30 mass today.
U know what happened??
She slept in, woke up at 12.20.
So I ended up attending the mass myself.
NICEE!!

Few hours after, what supposed to be a CELL TRIP had become a complete mess.

Now, because one person cancel, other two people cancel.
So this trip ended up with only 7 people attending and I dont feel like going anymore..

F*CK!!!!!!
I hate today!!

It's My Life

2010-07-02T20:27:00.001-07:00

So,
this morning I received a text from one of my best friends saying that he'd like me to do him a favor. He stated quite clearly what he wanted.
So, this afternoon I sent another text to him to confirm what i did was right.
What I got for a reply was kinda upset me..
He said to me to be simple and just do what he asked me to do.
He has been acting strange lately so I dont know how to handle this 'new' friend of mine.
Apparently I handled him the wrong way..
Our friendship was amazing. I just dont want this to end this way.

At the same time, old friend wrote on my facebook wall.
Encouraging me to make action instead of just thinking about my future.
She told me that the four of us, although heading different way, should work harder to achieve our dream.
She said one day when we have at least grab a string of our future we shall celebrate at the usual place.
The thought of it has cheer me up more beyond your imagination.
The thought of our celebration is paramount to me.

This is my life.
Sad things, bad things.
Happy things, good things.
They happened at the same time.
They made me cry, the made me laugh.
They discourage me, at the same time encouraging me.
Thank God that my life is so colourful..;)

Damn this world cup!!

2010-06-30T04:18:00.000-07:00

So,
I've just made a bet with my friend for Germany vs Argentina on 3rd of July.
If Germany wins he will treat me to a lunch.
On the other hand, if Argentina wins *cross fingers..dammit!* then i will have to pay for the lunch..
Did i just made a wrong bet, soccer maniaaa??!!!:P

The one with being so un-secretive

2010-06-25T07:45:00.000-07:00

The more I think about you, the more I am obsessed with you.
I think this has gone more than a winter fling.
This curious feeling that I have towards you is overwhelming myself.
The more I know you, the more I am amazed with you.
The more I want to know you, the further I feel you are.
The more I hang out with you, the more we have in common.
I know that this will not be easy with the stuff happening lately..
I know this wont be easy as I have got one opponent in fron of my eye who is more likely to win this competition or sorts.
If I keep this thought inside me, I will be more likely to think about it all the time and in the end it will hurt myself.
So, here I am sharing the most secretive part of me.. DAMMIT!!!!

self-doubt

2010-06-22T19:50:00.001-07:00

Well,
people made decisions, small ones, big ones.
I have made mine. A very big one, a life-changing decision.
It was not easy to start with. It was a long and painful process before I can say 'OK, I will go back for good'
Believe me, that was not easy.
My life in Melbourne was like living in heaven. I stumbled upon problems, inevitably.
But I cleaned up the mess perfectly, or so I thought.
I messed up my high school life and now I realise I have just few real friends from back then.
All my life is going around my Melbourne friends.
And now that I have to leave here, imagine how this decision hurts me.
But I guess life is a choice. I can choose to life crying over the spilt milk or just go on and just fix every wrongs I have done. I am most likely to choose the later one.

Now that it came closer to the date when I should go home, I, rather unconciously, feel reluctant to do so. I cant make any decisions on simple and small small things.
I cant pick up any date to book ticket. If someone wants to help me PLEASE DO SO!! Any date in 3rd week of July will do...~~
I have no courage to just call the cargo company because it will indicate that I am seriously about to go home. DAMMIT!!!
Why do I become so indecisive?since when?!

Now after struggling with all those things, I start to doubt myself whether I am making the right decision to go home.
I know I haven't done enough effort to say that I can't find a job here.
But I have my parents who want me so bad to go back.
I cant turn down their request because one day, I don't want my brother to come back to Indon.
Multimedia doesn't have that much future in Indon. I don't think that by doing so I am sacrificing my own future, I still have the option to come back here to do my master degree and then find a job here if possible.
Who knows what the future brings?

I just need one more reason for me to stop doubting myself..

Life cycle

2010-06-09T14:16:00.000-07:00

So,
I was having dinner with the girls.
We were talking, talking, and talking.
Sharing is caring ;)
Without even realising it, we suddenly were talking (Read: Complaining) about our bosses.

Suddenly, like being slapped, we fell silent.
It was an epiphany for all of us.
We suddenly realised that we have gone pass the days when we would sit down at the same restaurant and talking about uni.
We no longer complained about subjects, lecturers.
It is now time to complain about our bosses.
I hope there will be one day that we will complain about BEING bosses.

Life goes on.
While everything else seems to stay the same, our lifes keep running toward something unforseeable.
Hope life turns out good for us all ;)

Time Warp

2010-06-07T05:30:00.001-07:00

Watching someone you love is dying, or even dead, is not easy.
Living in a memory of the past of someone you love passed away is hard.
Everytime you see something that reminds you of that person you cried.
Everytime you are reminded that you are living that person's dream you cried.

I am a person of no dream.
I am living someone else's dream...and I admit, that much is not easy.

I am trying so hard to remember how you look like.
I am trying so hard to remember the way you laugh, the way you talk to me....
but to no avail.
I only remember what a perfect role model you were.
and I am living my life as a sister to an awesome brother trying to achieve the prefection you showed me...but I am still working on it.

I am way passed your age when you passed away, but still if I could go back for just one more day..

I remember the day I graduated, I was full of joy for finally I have fulfill my dream to fulfill yours...
This is what you wanted to be.

I miss you that much..even after 10 years.

Sweat..

2010-05-24T06:20:00.000-07:00

So, one rainy night at Borders Chadstone.
Three girls were sitting on a super cozy sofa. One was reading National Geographic, the other two were reading hair-styling magazine and gossip magazine.

National-Geographic-Girl = NGG
Hair-styling-girl = HSG

NGG: 'Hey, look at this picture. It is the glacier of Greenland. This looks amazing' *looking at picture of the ice mountain in Greenland*
HSG: 'Yeah it is. Wooww..amazing'
NGG: 'Sadly they starts to melt due to the global warming whatsoever'
HSG: 'Really? Anyway, so Greenland is the time-lining country, yeah?'
NGG: 'What??!!'
HSG: ' The one we learned in elementary school. The country where the time zone is plus-zero'
NGG: *.......thinking hard..........* 'dumbass!!that is GREENWICH!!'

Weird People

2010-05-19T18:41:00.000-07:00

So,
I encountered this very weird people of all times.
He is absolutely weird since 11 out of 10 of my friends said he is.
One day, he was cooking fried rice with big chunks of chicken and he got quite a lot of left over.
If I were him, If Im about to divide the left over for people to take home, I would make sure each people get at least one big chunk of the chicken.
He divided the left over and left two big pieces of chicken on the plate, when I asked why dont you put them into the left over bag he said those were for him to eat right at that moment..
I was like..
"what the hellll???????!!!!"

This very same person used to like one of my friend.
He would follow my friend around like there were invisible glue attached to them.
Which girl would feel comfortable with a guy following her around..?? I wont, and nor did my friend.
He would follow my friend around like some crazy stalker even when it was exam time.
He would be there before the exam started with weird excuses like

"I want to see whether the exam venue has changed"
dudee!!Monash always holds exam there since eons ago!!OMG

"I was about to meet my friend around here and so I decided to come here as well"
and he was there when we finish exam 3.5 hours later..such a lame excuse. I bet he was there all the time..

"I would like to feel the exam atmosphere"
dudee!!you have your own exam..like dduuuuhhhhh!!

Just this morning a notification from facebook came into my blackberry.
One of my friends just posted a comment on my status.
He commented on it last night so I bet he received the notification as well.
Then he answered my friends comment like it is his status..
giving a long long explanation on my friend's question.
I was like..
'WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU, BOYYYY??!!'
now I feel like changing my status..uugghh!!!

Undoubtedly the weirdest people I've ever met.
Even two of my friends who always have an over-positive view on people have agreed that he is indeed weird.
To be honest, I've seen people who have the patience to put up with weird people and I just plainly dont have it.
Im sorry if I hurt you in some ways *not that I really feel sorry in that way though* but I just cant help...

Winter is around the corner

2010-05-18T18:26:00.000-07:00

So,
It's getting colder.
Im getting fatter.
Im getting lazier.
Things are getting worse for some people.
Im having more problems deciding which things to take back to Indo.

Same shit different day..=(

why did they do that??

2010-05-15T17:44:00.000-07:00

So, call me racist call me whatever..I dont care.
But I have this one hateful feeling towards people from one certain country.
If you have stayed in Malaysia or Australia for some times you know which people Im talking about!!!

First day I arrived at Melbourne, I found out that my host parents were that country.
One day they asked me whether I want to go with them for a long weekend trip while Monash College doesnt recognise such a word. I had classes still..so politely I refused with the reason I had classes and they never asked me again to go on a trip with them.
They made a report to the education agent that helped me, saying that I was very introvert that they dont know how to reach me. I dont want to blend with their family.
Other day, the wife woke me up at 7 in the morning, I couldnt even open my eyes and she said to me "I'll teach you how to clean the toilet."
Firstly, the toilet wasnt very clean to start with.
Secondly, shit!!that was 7am and you want me to clean the toilet already??dumbass!!
And their house smell like shit!!

Move on to college days, I had one tutor who is very racist towards asians especially chinese.
One of my friend chinese-malaysian was accused of getting the key answer of the assignment while he had no supporting proof to say such a thing.
Finally, he failed my friend's assignment. I didnt know what happened next. As I heard my friend appealed but I asked no further.
One fine day, someone's phone rang in the class. I didnt hear that.
Unfortunately at the same time I felt like going to toilet.
So, I stood up from my chair and heading to toilet.
Halfway he shouted out at me saying "OK, if you go out and answer that phone, better for you not to come back to the class"
I was wearing jeans, he should have had noticed it whether I carried my phone or not and I remember clearly I didnt.
Moron!!!
I heard that his girlfriend, who was a very nice girl, died in an accident few years after I graduated from college.
I cant help but feeling happy for that girl.
She's better off dead than marry such a moron, racist guy.

The day before yesterday, while my train was approaching Oakleigh station, I saw the announcement board for smart buses saying Mordialloc 1 min.
So I got off the bus and running *at full speed:P* to the bus.
While I already stand in front of the door he drove the bus away.
So what I did was *rather un-ladylike-ly* hit the bus' window.
He stopped the bus and opened the door for me.
When I got on the bus he told me, "that's not the way you stop the bus"
I didnt reply him as I was still catching my breath.
He repeated again the very same sentence, "excuse me, that's not the way you stop the bus"
While he was doing that 2 other people hopped on to the bus.

Me: *pissed off already* I already stand outside the door when you drive the bus away

Driver: yeah but that's not the job for the bus driver to look for people running. When I have to drive away that means it's time. So you have to wait for the next bus *FYI, the next bus is 30 min away if not late*

Me: OK, just see how many people will have to wait outside, freezing, if I didnt hit the bus. Do you know that the next bus is 30 minutes away??

Driver: yeah, but that's not how you stop the bus. *apparently these people are so stupid that their brain can only think of one sentence within few minutes*

Me: *already angry and cant be bothered to think of any good argument for such brainless people* yeah right, but you stop the bus anyway. then what??!!
*CHECKMATE!!!*

And so he drove away the bus. Few seconds after, there are two of those people just happened to cross the road. They didnt wave, they didnt run. You know what the driver did??
He opened the door..
Lucky I was feeling happy that night, if not I would have prolonged the argument saying that he was racist!!

Just yesterday, one of my friends had an argument with a brainless, "those people", bus driver.
My friend got on the bus and stand at quite the front part of the bus.
He saw many people were getting on the bus after him, so he, with body gesture, asked them to just move to the back part of the bus.
The bus driver told him, "you cant stand there"
My friend couldnt be bothered to answer because he knew it would be as pointless as my argument the night before.
So, he pretended he didnt hear anything and just listen to his ipod.
The driver repeated again, "excuse me, you cant stand there"
My friend, because he's not brainless, ignore the bus driver and just listened to his ipod.hahaha:P

I genuinely tried to feel pity for "those people" taxi drivers who were stabbed and left to death for some.
However, seeing many of their people are so brainless and attitude-less, how can I feel pity for those people who were stabbed??
Get my point??
Undoubtedly, there are exceptions to every rules. This one as well.
Im only saying that MAJORITY of those people are like that.
By majority I mean 99%
I have an accountant who mentor me before, she was such a very very nice girl and she now has a baby girl.
Hope her baby girl will be as nice as her mother..

Crazy Aussie

2010-05-10T00:50:00.000-07:00

To apply for permanent residency in Australia you need to achieve 7 each band for your IELTS.
I believe everyone knows how hard for majority to achieve all 7. There must be at least one band that falls below 7.
Before you apply for PR, you need to do skill assessment which is technically just a piece of paper saying that applicant's study has qualified him/her.

IELTS 7 and skill assessment were two separate factors to apply for PR. Now they made it even harder.
I received an email few hours ago saying that now to apply for skill assessment by CPA/ICAA, you need to achieve IELTS of bloody 7.

Why do they made it so hard?
Do they want to cast away all the immigrants??
Dont they realise for this country to run they need those immigrants??
If nobody wants to study in Australia, where do Aussies get their money from??
While a lot of people have said that there are little to no advantage -more troubles instead- in being Australian PR, I wonder who wants to apply PR now??

Lucky I decided to go home for good.
This country is not that liveable anymore..
Aussie is not as nice as it used to be.

Possibilities (yet to) Happen

2010-05-05T05:08:00.001-07:00

So,
What would you do if you lose contact with someone you dearly loved as a friend, a brother..
Someone you badly want to meet right at this very moment.
To whom you want to tell that you have fulfilled the unfulfilled.
I believe you would go any distance.
You would google up his name, his nickname.
If those attempts keep giving you nothing..
One thing you would do..
To put up a picture with him in it, hoping that one day, someone, some random person, will tag him.
Hopes are very small..Never hold on to something frail, people said.
But, no hope no life.

So, here I am waiting for a little magic (yet) to happen..

The Never Ending Promotion

2010-04-27T17:20:00.000-07:00

So,
as I was drinking my Teh Kotak I realized one thing.
See the difference??
The new package is saying '50% free' and this has been going on for years and years. I remember I saw this the first time when I was still in high school.
The first time this promotional package came out, they were celebrating something anniversary.
Now that it's been going on for few years, they took out the anniversary part, but they still put 50% free.

Hmm..~~
Marketing fellas, what's going on here??

I Dont Have The Heart

2010-04-23T07:25:00.000-07:00

As days goes by,

my time to leave Melbourne comes closer.

The willingness to leave and start a life back in Indonesia comes from me alone.

But I dare say it out loud,

'I don't have the heart to leave'

Melbourne has become my second home, the house Im living in feels like home.

2 years memories of good things and bad things.

I cried over simple things now.

I cried over the sand bear that me and my friend made on Chelsea Beach.

I cried over my cell group's togetherness.

I cried over this house. I cant imagine the time I have to say, 'Bye bye house..'

I will miss Melbourne.

I will miss the people inside.

I will miss those angers over late trains.

I will miss those times running for buses.

Maybe I will also miss the strong windy days.

Maybe I will miss having the electric blanket under my fitted sheet during winter.

Maybe I will miss the taste of Nutella.

Everything wont be same ever again.

But one thing I know, God will guide me.

I put my everything on God.

I dont know what to do, but God knows, so I'll let HIM lead me.

That's the only assurance I have over my uncertain life.

One Summer Fling

2010-04-19T05:21:00.000-07:00

So,

I watched a lot of movies of dramas which love story started with one summer fling.

Hey, my summer has turned into autumn, and soon into winter..

When will this story be my winter sonata???

HAHAHAHA.. *cheezyyy.... -.-*

Huhuyy~~

Cant be helped, can I?? :P

HAIIZZ..~~

This one has NO CURE loorr..

What winter sonata, what summer fling..aiyoohh crazy me!! :(

What I Will Miss

2010-04-14T06:10:00.000-07:00

I was on 630 bus to Monash Uni. When it stopped at Huntingdale Station a guy *hottie alert!!:P* hop on the bus and I saw he was walking limply.

He wore a thong on his right leg and as for the left, he carried the thong.

I saw his left leg was wounded on the part where it was in contact with the thongs, that was why he carried the thong by hand.

I saw the tissue he used to absorb his blood looked dodgy already.

So, I asked if he needed some more tissue. Doing good deed while flirting *one kill two birds. LOL:D*

Then he gave me back the rest of my tissue, said thank you, and smiled at me *wwwaaaaa~~~..*

Other time, I fell because I stepped on something. This happened at QV.

One guy came up and asked whether I was ok and then he picked up the thing that caused me to fall and threw it away.

*SIGHHH...*

It got me thinking, now that Im leaving this country, I wont be able to experience those kind of feeling ever again.

In Indonesia, if you do that to some strangers, let alone thanking you, not giving you skeptic look is counted good enough.

I will miss at least this aspect of Australia where people are friends with people.

Racism is something that we cant avoid when living in a multicultural country.

Putting away the racism, I will miss the warm-hearted Aussies...

Who's Afraid of The Big Bad Wolf

2010-04-11T06:26:00.000-07:00

So,

All of a sudden a tune was playing in my memory.

I was thinking for some times what and why is this song keep playing inside my head.

Suddenly I remember!! It is a disney song that won me my very first trophy ever.

I was much younger. I still remember how proud I am to bring that trophy home although that was only for the 3rd winner.

Aaahhh..~~ reminiscing childhood always makes me happy..;)

la vie nouvelle

2010-04-08T18:48:00.000-07:00

So,

planning to go back for good doesnt seem as frightening as before.

Besties are going with me to Jakarta. To be exact we have plan to go to Jakarta.

Hopefully everything will be realised.

Im very excited to go back for good.

A bit hard to leave my friends here, but for a better future I have to go back and I can barely wait.

July seems so long with all this excitement.

I might not be here when my best friend come and visit Melbourne for a week.

I might not be here to hang out with him.

One thing Im sure AKU BISA DICULIK LAGI SETIAP SAAT DI INDOOO.....;P

Im damn excited...

If this few days I cant sleep thinking of my job hunting, now I cant sleep thinking how much fun I will have back in Indo..:)

The Day I Made My Big Decision

2010-04-07T07:46:00.000-07:00

So,
Ive made the decision.
The biggest decision in my life so far.
I'll be going back for good.
This seems to be the answer to all my prayers.

I prayed Novena when I appealed for my 6.5 speaking result.
I prayed when I sit the test last February so that if God's plan were for me to stay in Melbourne so be it 7 for speaking and writing. They were not.
I prayed when I was interviewed for CKM in fact as you know, I got the news that I wasnt accepted.
I prayed for the TR process to be smooth when in fact until now I have no news from DIMIA.
Now, my family also has some issues.

Maybe it was not that my prayers werent answered.
Maybe they were answered but in a way that I dont expect.
Maybe while I was waiting for a YES instead God gave me a NO.

After all the thinking and inquiring were done, I chose to leave Melbourne.
Maybe not for ever since I might be back for a postgraduate degree in 3-4 years maybe less.
Who knows....
All I know is that after I have the gut to tell people that I've decided to go back for good I feel like a ton of burden has just been lifted from my shoulders.
Maybe this is not all.
Maybe there will be more than just a decision to leave Melbourne.
Maybe far more than that, maybe it will cost me something else that I have been waiting for so long.
Maybe it will cost me dearly.
But, as for now, the decision is made.
As for when, only God knows..;)

My Easter

2010-04-06T22:16:00.000-07:00

So,
I was departing on 630 bus towards Monash University last Monday.
It was as usual, greeting the driver, validate ticket and sitting down.
But suddenly when one passenger went off, the driver came to me asking, "have I greeted you Happy Easter?"
I said I thought so.
Then he handed me $2 coin and said "This is for you because this year I forgot to buy easter chocolate"
Wowww..he instantly made my day...;)
It's not because it's $2, not that it can buy me something these days.
Not because it came from a bus driver, not that I think I will meet him again now that I think Im about to go back for good.
But because it's from someone's heart.
Suddenly my heart filled with warmth. It felt great..;)

But now, this morning, after yesterday's fun to Phillip Island.
I received a text message from a friend saying "Van, let us find another work. Our friend L has just accepted to that job"
Fyi, the three of us was interviewed for the same job.
What makes me angry is not the fact that my friend got the job.
For that Im sure Lord has His own plan for me.
Only the company didnt give equal opportunity for us to compete.

1st friend was interviewed in a very casual manner. No fuss, no muss.

2nd was me. The interviewer asked me what's the different between financial accounting and management accounting. I answered management accounting mainly managing how the company could run more efficiently while financial accounting dealing with what has happened.
She said my answer was wrong and that I didnt understand a single thing about financial accounting and management accounting.
She said the answer should be that financial accounting is dealing with the past of the company and management accounting dealing with the future of the company.
hhmm....fine.whatever.

3rd friend was the one who got accepted.
And only this morning that I found out that she didnt even interviewed.
She was called to come to the office, and talked to the interviewer while standing (which proves how casual it was) and on the spot she was asked for a trial.
And she got accepted.

So what actually Lord's plan is??
For me to go back for good?
or whatt?????!!

I feel like crying now because my future seems to be slipping away from my hand.
I dont know what to do and where to go.
I dont know who I am anymore.
And I feel plainly STUPID!!

One Final Call

2010-04-04T02:41:00.000-07:00

So,
Few days ago my mom called me and asked me what I wanted to do with my life?
My life??? I f*cking dont know!!
Everything seems so uncertain these days after graduation.
I complained a lot during uni life.
Thought I wont complain any longer after that, but here I am and complaining even worse.
More over, now Im not the one who is complaining.
My mom seems to complain a lot about me.
Saying Im so slow, people alwas get everything first before me.

So, there was one fine day that my mom called me and said one of my friend IC was offered a job at a company but unfortunately, his visa does not allow him to work in Australia.
So, what happened?
He didnt get the job.
You know what my mom suggested me to do?
Come to him and ask him which company that was.
It got me thinking, so my mom wanted me to come to my friend saying, "dude, since you didnt get the job let me have it"
Isnt it rude???!!
What's in her head??!!

Other days she would call me and ask me how's my job hunting and scolded me for not getting a job quickly.
She kept asking me has my housemate who graduate at the same time with me got a job?
I told her the truth that she hasnt.
I was wondering....When I was a kid I used to compare my mom to my friend's and she told me to just swallow it down and if Im not satisfied with her I can be other people's daughter.
So, what happened if I turn the situation around? What if I told her to just be other people's (who's got a job) mom.
Anyway, after telling her the truth that my housemate hasnt got a job herself, I thought she would stop scolding me and just realised that it is now VERY VERY VERY VERY hard to find a job in this f*cking country.
(sorry about those rather inappropriate words. Im getting tired with this job hunting phase of my life that seems so hard)
In fact, she kept scolding me saying why others have got a job before I do.
Just who the hell do you mean with 'others', mom??
I told you so many times that none of my friends has got a job..
Oh my dear God!!!

The last time she called me, she asked me to set a date for myself that if at which I havent got a job I have to go back for good.
I can either move to another country *and she literally said didnt care which country. It might as well be South Africa taming a wild cheetah* or go back to Indonesia.
She asked roughly when this date will be.
I said in a year because that's how I see my friend. Even the smartest in school who graduated on 2008 found a job just late last year.
She screamed in horror saying that one year was simply UNACCEPTABLE giving me the reason that company who would hire me would wonder why I havent got a job within one year.
The reason sounded pretty acceptable to me.
So, I fought no further.

Last Wednesday I had two interviews. In the morning was for the full time, in the evening was for the part time.
I texted her in the morning before I went to the interview.
She texted me back wishing me good luck and said that she would keep praying for me.
That was fine.
Until in the evening, after my 2nd interview, I texted her telling her that I got accepted into the part time job for sure and that it would start in May.
She replied "OK, then find another job to do in April"
She didnt even congratulate me.
FINE!!!
Just f*ck off!!
I wont call you again even if you ask me to so that you wont have the chance to ruin my day, mom!!!
Not until I have good news for you which means I've got myself a full time job.

I thought Ive gone past those puberty days when hormones ruled me and caused me to argue with my mom a lot.
This job hunting phase is starting to get to my nerve.
And until now Im still thinking what if until August (the time that my mom set for me without even asking me) I havent got myself a job and my mom wants me back to Indonesia?
What am I gonna do there???
I hate my life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I know today is Easter, and I supposed to forgive my mom.
I love God. I love my family.
I just really hate my life and myself!!!

Be smart, think smart, do smart??google it!!

2010-03-24T06:02:00.001-07:00

So,

What would you do if you already knew the name of a shop and wanted to find out its address??

I asked two friends about this and they said let google do its job and so I told my friend.

Not long after, came another question. What was the suburb of the shop??

AArrggghhhh..~~

Just f*cking google itt!!!!!!!!

It's for you to know and for Google to find out! Nice and easy, dude!!

Capek deh nontok wedok menye2 gak iso opo2!!!

About giving up..

2010-03-17T17:02:00.001-07:00

I just realised how hard it is to look for a job.
Everytime I found a new way to get a job seems like doors are closing up on me.
Lord please help me.
Im about to give up here..:(
On the other hands I dont want to make my parents disappointed.
What should I do?

For One More Day

2010-03-09T02:42:00.001-08:00

Lord, if you see them in heaven, tell them how much I love them and how much I miss them.

How much I would like to see them one more day, see one more smile, get one more pat in my back.

Tell bro that his death wasnt in vain. See now his little brother has gotten himself a master degree. See now I have gotten myself a bachelor degree.

Tell him I wanted to hear his laugh just one more time.

Tell gramps how much this shattered family needs him.

Tell them how much I wanted to hug them tightly right now at this very moment.

Lord, I pray for You to forgive their sins.

I pray for them to see me in my dream and give me just one more smile to give me the courage I need.

Amen.

Backstreets Boys is Back!!

2010-03-05T14:04:00.000-08:00

So,

I watched backstreet boys 'this is us' concert tour 2010 last Friday.

I underestimate them a little bit at first.

I even thought a thousand times before buying the ticket.

I even forgot the date. Thanks to my friend Adriani who reminded me of the concert.

I didnt even know where the concert was.

But t'was awesommmeeee!!!

If I could, I would go for another round.

The sound system was fantastic.

They used on-stage DJ so the music arrangement is a bit different from recorded version, only so much better..

OHMIGODDDDDDDDD.....I would give everything to go for another round:p

Even though they are 30ish now, they still can dance...............................and Nick Carter is still as HOT!!!kyaaaaaaa~~~... and Howie and AJ are hotter while Brian is so-so:p

Funny thing, if I heard it right I spotted 1 mistake Nick did.

When he sang As Long As You Love Me he sang "cant get you out of my heart" he didnt really finish the word 'heart' as soon as he realised it was wrong he changed to "yeeeee..."

I just realised it when I re-watch the video I recorded..;p

Apart from that funny mistake the show was WWWWWOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW..~~~

I want moreee!!!=(

*Show me the meaning of being lonelyyyyy...*

Speaking of which, when will Westlife come to Melb???!!!

Dream Destroyer

2010-03-03T21:08:00.001-08:00

So,

There is a girl who has this one simple dream.

She wants her kids to know their great-grandparents, know their real hometown, know how good it feels to grow up in a countryside, how peaceful it is to live in a village.

She wants them to know her real hometown. Where she spent her holidays chasing chickens, going to the beach building sand castle, seeing padi fields everywhere she went.

But a bunch of stupid and greedy people have just destroyed her dream.

Starting with her greedy auntie who married her uncle knowing that he is the only son in the family, hoping she would inherit all the wealth.

Just like any other Chinese family. Like any other movies storyline, the greedy auntie starts trying to claim what she deemed to be hers, as soon as the head of the family passed away.

Starting from selling furnitures, trying to sell off houses, and brainwashed her kids to hate the kids' dad's family.

Until one day this girl's family members are so angry that they said they are more of a family without the greedy auntie and her family because her greediness has just ruined everything.

And history has just repeat itself when the greedy auntie's son has a girlfriend who is also greedy, who hopes one day she can marry him and get all his inheritance.

People outside are asking, why the hell this greedy auntie loves her son's girlfriend so much while it is very obvious to outsiders that she is very very greedy.

Why oh why......
Do you know why???

Yesssssss....It is because the greedy auntie sees herself in this f*cking ugly, greedy and kaypoh girl.

The greedy auntie cant help remembering the time when she flied to Europe to chase her boyfriend, and made herself pregnant so that anybody cant help but let them get married.

Aaahhh..life oh life~~

This greedy auntie is so dominating in her marriage that she (un)consciously pushed her husband to the edge, made her husband a gambler, drunk, and in the end blamed her husband for acting that way..

WWWOoooooOoOOwwWWW......~~

Greedy auntie turns out to be very smart, doesnt sheeee???!!

By simply made herself pregnant supported by her greediness she can destroy a very big family, and a girl's simple dream.

AAhhaaaa....!!

Now you know what to do if you want to catch a rich guy and marry her so that you can get yourself big big shining inheritance....;p

Dont Drink and Drive!!!!!

2010-02-25T03:51:00.000-08:00

"EF Teacher Died in a motorbike accident on 16th of December"

So,

I was just browsing on facebook and wished my friend's sister happy belated bday when I stumblen upon her blog link.

So I decided to take a look at her marvelous blog and saw this blog entry she did.

She posted a story about her EF teacher who died in a terrible motorbike accident last december.

I know it's kinda late to do this entry now.

Even worse, I dont know this person at all.

He was David Kingsley William. He was a teacher at EF Kayoon as I've said before.

This post was not intended to be a tribute for him but I just dont want him to die in vain.

Please please please dont drink and drive!!!

I am Indonesian, and I am not saying that we are better than those people we call 'bule' which basically means caucasian.

It's just I cant help feeling sad for those people who died in accident just because they were drunk or the driver was drunk.

Come on people!!

Dont you know that people at home are waiting for you??

Dont you know they love you deeply that if you hurt yourself even a bit you gonna hurt them even deeper.

Living in Australia for 3 years I saw people who drink beer as if it were water.

Drunk people are not uncommon.

So, one day I decided to try one gulp of beer. It tasted way too awful that I dont even want to try again.

Why wasting your life on those taste-like-crap yellow liquid???

This David Kingsley apparently was a very loved teacher. His students are mourning on his death. His mom and fellow teacher were hysterical when they saw his death body covered in blood.

I cant help thinking why did he do that? He did not seem like those people who are depressive and seek console from alcohol. He was a well-loved man.

Albeit dont know him, I cant help feeling sad. Especially knowing his mom's and friends' reaction.

He was only 31 for god sake.

May you rest in peace David Kingsley William.

Your students here seem to miss you a lot, your mom and friends also.

RIP David Kingsley William

14th february 1978 - 13th December 2009

To see my friend's blog entry about her beloved english teacher click here

I wish I dont waste my time making this entry.

I hope this entry at least make those people who grieve upon David's death feel a little bit better.

I hope this blog entry can be useful because I think by now I should have been asleep or busy preparing myself for tomorrow's interview.

For those who didnt know, I have an interview tomorrow morning so, please wish me luck..:)

The blah

2010-02-19T15:46:00.000-08:00

NNNNNNNNUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!Where did my background go???!!So, I ended up looking for a new background and stumbled upon this new peaceful theme of mine..Keep changing layouts isnt that nice because I have to fix things such as the 'friends in thought section'*sigh**sobbing*

Anyway, I just found out that apparently with the world shifting to a healthier-shaped models, girls are still stuck in the old paradigm that girls should look something like the laundry board.

Are they even aware that some girls meant to have a "whole" body shape that even if you go on an extreme diet like sh*t you still can get the laundry board body??
Do they know that whether you are healthy or not is determined by the body mass index (BMI) and not determined by photos of some anorexic models???
Why cant girls just feel satisfied when they are healthy, doing sport, and nobody telling them they are fat and ugly???
*Jeezzzzzz..*

Case A
This friend of mine has the height about 150 *yes yes yes we are asians and we should eat more calcium!!!* and weigh around 43-47 approximately *have never asked her*
She looks fine for me.
In fact, she looks so petite already, so small with only 150cm of height.
Shocking me the most, she often times said she wants to go on a diet to shed some kilos.
One day I asked her how does she want to look like?
She pointed to someone look something like this...........

While in fact she already look somewhere like

Oh no. wrong picture. This girl looks like her niece instead..;pShe's so cute I cant help uploading it here..hahaha;p

Imagine this girl.
Same cuteness, same sweet smile, same asian face, same long hair, only smaller bones and 150 cm.
That shall look like my friend.
Does she look anywhere near overweight to you?
Do you think she need to shed another few kilos?
I dont think so. I dont think she need to shed some kilo. I dont think she need to go on a diet scheme.
Yet, I cant talk her out of it.

Case B
Yet another girl.
This time 160, very ideal body shall not be more than 57 kg.
Only need a little bit of sport to make her look more firm.
The only problem is her cheeks are chubby while none of her family member has them.
And she jumped to a conclusion that she is overweight and need to shed some kilos.

Both girl A and B are constantly saying that they need to go on diet on and on again until my ears turn red and I just feel like GAAHHH!!enough already!!

Case C
Another friend, 160 cm, 75 kg, looks somewhere near Kelly Clarkson at this stage

And as people say, she seems happy to be where she's at.
She is indeed trying to lose some weight but she told me she would stop somewhere at 60 or 55 although she said she fully aware that those range is in the upper end of her healthy BMI.
The most important thing, she is not pushing it and she does not keep saying the four words magic word D-I-E-T on and on and on and on......

My Questions are:

1. Why cant they just be happy with what they have now? I was thinking, that should be what people called greediness as the Freedictionary(dot)com describe greediness as 'Excessively desirous of acquiring or possessing'.

2. If you were a guy *or you are a guy;p*, which girl would you choose if the three of them have the same good personality?

aahh..this world oh this world..;)

Im just happy to be where I am;p

I just need a JOBBBBBB..!!!but that's a different story entirely, obviously!;p

I might, I might

2010-02-09T20:07:00.000-08:00

Im afraid to feel it again.
But Im afraid I might already have.

Im afraid to fall again.
But Im afraid I might already have.

Im afraid to confess and share.
But I think I might have to, someday.

I feel like some part of me has been taken away from me.

I think I might not succeed again this time round, but I dont know how to get rid of it.

Lord, please help me.

Dear God

2010-02-06T08:34:00.000-08:00

Dear God, the only thing I ask of You
Is to hold them when I'm not around
When I'm much too far away..

Ps: yes I'm gonna miss you.
I already miss you now.
I hate to say gpodbye but I, apparently, have to.
And yes, in case you don't know, I'm sad.
V v sad.

The Test That Sets The Standard

2010-02-03T03:04:00.000-08:00

So,
In this world, people know two most famous english tests.
I wont say any name, but Im sure you know them.

Few days ago when I took preparation class for one of the tests, the person who helped me told me that so long ago *and he regretted it that much* he once helped few students who are willing to pay $2000 (Neither will I say what currency it was in because I didnt ask, so basically idk;p) to pay for the 'version zero' question sheet.
Say, my test was for tomorrow, then tonight I would get the test for that amount of money.
However, on the very day of the test, you can barely cheat.
All dodgy things must be prepared the night before.

Only this afternoon that people have found a way to cheat on the other test.
Someone I and my friend know took the test.
Suddenly my friend received a message from this particular candidate and asking what answer shall he choose *BIG hint: the questions were asking about grammar*
This test taker could even call my friend albeit could only whisper.

"The Test That Sets The Standard"
Can we still believe in this motto??
Can we still believe in the standard that those tests are setting?
To be honest I cant.
One thing that makes me more disappointed is that in order for me to be able to get a job,to fulfill my dream, I have to take one of those test *can be easily guessed which one it is;p*
I have taken the test thrice.

If only I can buy the questions or can cheat, why should I went through such torture to get the score I needed.
If only my parents have not teach me to be an honest person and to fulfill dreams without any helps neither from money nor from other people.
If only I could do such cheating method to get my dream job.
If only I could do those things to just make my parents happy.
Too many if-onlys already.....

Why should I cry for two days when the result was not what I hoped it would turn out.
Why should I argue with my mom, giving her reasons for me not being able to reach the so-called-standard that my destination country has set.
So the number that my destination country has set, wouldn't it be unfair to those honest people??allowing those cheaters to be able to achieve that score easily.

The Test That Sets The Standard.
B*LLSHIT!!!!!!

A Nation-wide Bad Habit

2010-01-28T06:56:00.000-08:00

I dont know how or why nor when Indonesians develop this habit of commenting on someone's body shape and size.
Everytime I meet a person whom I havent seen for such a long time, the first thing they will say "Oh, you gained weight", or "Why havent you lost weight?", or "Oh, you lost so much weight, how did you do that?"
What worse is that I know a person who had been in Australia since primary school but recently came back to Indonesia and has been here for 2 years, first time he said when he met me after so long we havent met each other was, "Oh my God, you gained weight!!"
*WTF*
Tonight when I open my facebook account an aunty of mine who hasnt seen neither my mom nor me for quite a long time said, "Hey, I havent seen your mom for quite some times. She looked not so fat in your graduation picture. When was that?"
I was like WTF??!!!
After all this time we havent gathered together, first thing you commented on was my mom's 'size'??????
Is there nothing else you can criticized other than my mom's 'size'????
Jeezzzzz....

Other nation-wide habit is that Indonesians love to talk about others.
I have a friend whose graduation pictures werent uploaded on facebook, nor printed.
Long story short, nobody has ever seen her graduation picture.
What happened next made me angry.
People start to gossip about her not graduating.
Apparently before her dad went overseas to attend her graduation, he did tell few people about it.
Some even dare to say out loud about that gossip.
Now that she printed one of her graduation photo and put it on her home, people started to say, "oohh..she really graduated"
WHAT THE F*CCCKKK!!!!!!!!
=.=""

Oh dearr..~~~
What kind of world im living in??
Why Indonesians just cannot shut their f*cking mouth up???
Making me even more reluctant to residing back in Indonesia.

why did God create this kind of people?

2010-01-26T20:22:00.000-08:00

So,
Recently I metand got to know a person who is so arrogant.
That's my judgement.
I'll tell you what she did and I'll let you judge.

Problem 1:
She said she graduated from a university from an english speaking country.
Her title is from a university that is not the expert in the field she was studying.
For example: If I was studying science then I'd be studying at Monash Uni.
And if I was studying commerce I'd be studying at Melb Uni.
But the thing is the uni she attended isn't a well-known uni.
The next problem is she is speaking a BROKEN english.
And if she ever encountered a girl/boy who study in a not-well-known uni, she will put a "stupid" label on him/her.

Problem 2:
She graduated from a field other than IT.
But when there is a computer problem she will act as if she is smarter than the IT engineer.
She even tell the IT engineer what to do and wasn't acting cooperative.

Problem 3:
She put a "not too rich" label to someone.
While the house she's staying in now was bought by her dad and not by her husband.
What label shall we put??

Problem 4:
A friend of her told me that if one of her staff late for 15 minutes she will ask her staff to fill in a "late form"
However, she never filled in any.

I know most of the stories I heard from a 3rd party but the thing is, a lot of people also testified that she is indeed like that.
So, what will you do if you meet a person like that??
How would you feel??
Would you feel what I feel??
Now I feel like pull her hair, kick her ass, slap her.
I'll kill her if I could=p

Aahhh~~
This world is unfair to those who become the victim..

Anw, for those of you who know who I meant, please do smile, or laugh if necessary

it's always about a son and never a daughter

2010-01-19T06:36:00.000-08:00

My brother is the one who got the new speaker and when I asked to try it for just a week my parents look at me angrily.
My brother is the one my mom accompanied all the way to Malaysia.
My brother is the one for whom my mom bought a bottle of water everyday.
My brother is the one for whom my mom afraid that he will stumbled over a tangled wires.

When my brother took my CD player, my parents said to let it go.
In the end, my parents bought a new one and give their old to me.
And it didn't work and they told me to just listen to the radio.

I'm always the ugly daughter.
I'm always the fat daughter.
I'm always the rebelious daughter.
I'm always the one who befriended with wrong persons.
I'm always the one whose opinions are always too selfish and always wrong.
I'm always the selfish one.

I'm the one who has taken ielts for 3 times and still didn't pass.
I'm the one whose english pronounciation and accent is so bad that my mom who doesn't understand english hates and disgusted with the way I speak english.
And all I want is just a bit of their love.
A bit of their acknowledgement of my achievement.
Is that too much to ask??

Home, home, home

2009-12-22T06:11:00.000-08:00

and so, and so, and so, and so...
am home.
I mean Indo. home. home sweet home. bed sweet bed;p
No more getting lost at streets that I dont know..haha~~
Driving for a week is more than enough. I dont want to drive at least for some good time;p
I'll let someone else drive me..LMAO.

but Im here only for a month.
hopefully when I go back to Melbourne things will be better.

Anyway, time to sleep after a day-long journey from MEL-DPS, and DPS-SUB.
what a tiring journey with Garuda Indonesia, never not late..!!!

Happy bday also to my friend Listi..;)
Hope next year will be a better year.
Hope the best for you in your study.

anyway,
*cheers* for my graduation;)

what a headache

2009-12-19T04:41:00.001-08:00

So, my parents and my brother are here in Melbourne for my graduation.
Having them here is a bit of a headache and fun though.

My mom is the main source of my headache.
when Im driving, she keep telling me to stop at moments or junctions that I shouldnt.
when she's looking at things, she always converts everything to IDR so that all things become expensive and it is now a headache to buy things because cheap things (in AUD) has now become v v v expensive things according to IDR. Then, she starts to get angry at me, my dad, and my bro for buying things that for me is v cheap.

It is not that I dont like them being here.
I love it when they're here. I honestly am.
but still..
big headache..

My graduation day

2009-12-16T14:43:00.000-08:00

Today is my graduation dayyy..
lalala~~
say bye to papers and essays..
say hi to a new world;p

2009-12-14T03:54:00.001-08:00

So,
tomorrow my parents will come to attend my graduation.
I bet this is the only time first born-ers feel more loved than their siblings;p

As I graduated already, I wanted to change my bedroom ambience.
So I bought a new desk from IKEA *yess!!IKEA..!!* and just finished assembled it.
then vacuumed the whole house and moped it as well just because tomorrow my parents are coming..hahahaha~~
And now I keep sneezing!!I guess because of the dust.

Anyway, nothing special happened this week, so, nothing to update.
Neither have I been feeling melancholic lately, so really, nothing to update..haha;p

My parents and brother are coming tomorrow.
My graduation will be this Thursday.

I feel blessed..;)

Sunday morning

2009-12-05T16:07:00.000-08:00

Sunday morning rain is falling yeah yeaaahhh..

except that it isnt in Melbourne.

I have friends, and I mean close friends, who likes to cancel everything, from hanging out, watching movie to a day trip, in the last minute. I mean very very last minute. Trip on 10am they cancel on 930am. WTH!!
I wonder, do they even feel the slightest feel of guilt??do they?? DO THEY??!!
if they say they do, i doubt it.
If I say, we cancel the trip just because you said you are not going, how would they feel I wonder.
Will they feel happy??happy that we cancel the trip so they dont miss out on something??
People oh people, why art thou so indecisive??

Nonetheless, the good news is my family's visa to Australia have been granted.
So, they will attend my grad for sure.
So now I have to arrange the schedule for them because apparently we have way too many family friends here in Melbourne that we have to visit each one of them.
*Sighh*

Anyway, enjoy your Sunday everyone.

I graduated, thank you

2009-12-03T04:33:00.000-08:00

Have just got my result today.
Good new, I passed everything which makes me an official B.Com.
Thank God for this wonderful outcome after every unfortunate things that have happened lately.

3 years have gone.
That long was my journey to get an additional bit behind my name.
I've been through ups and downs.
So many tears I have cried for this.
12 seasons in Melbourne.
And now, let me present.......

Maria Teresa Vania Sumargo, B.Com.

However, apparently there are 2 of my friends who didnt pass.
I havent called them. I only know this info from a *quite* reliable source.
A birdie told me;p
Maybe I will call them by tomorrow morning. See how everything goes.
Maybe they can apply for "Near Pass"
That's Monash Uni giving us a we-wont-rip-more-of-your-money-because-this-is-your-last-subject chance.

what is interesting is that, I was telling another friend about this.
I explained to her that Monash has this we-wont-rip-more-of-your-money-because-this-is-your-last-subject chance called Near Pass.
I explained that student who got 45-49 can apply for it *of course because 50 is a pass*
She said, "No!!it's only for 48 and 49 student because Miss X should had graduated together with me on 2007 only that she got 47, applied for NP and got rejected. So, Miss X graduated on the next batch"
I was thinking wow wow wowww...I am living in a society where you carry bad and shameful things to your grave. It stick to you like flies/rat glue.
eeewwwwww........~~
haha -.-"
Im not saying that this friend of mine is a bad girl.
I can totally understand her, because that's just the way this society is working.
What a cruel society I am living in.
haizzzz........~~

Anyway, let me present here once again.....

Maria Teresa Vania Sumargo, B.Com
First born of Mr and Mrs Sudarto Sumargo

Excuse mua????doesnt that look like the printing on wedding invitation??
Holy crap!!;p
SO WRONGGGGG!!!!
det dotttttttttttttttttt!!!~~
Ciaoo..

The one with not being a doctor

2009-12-02T14:43:00.000-08:00

Why do I not want to be a doctor??

When I was in high school, I attended science class.
I am *am, not was* v v interested in science especially in human biology besides chemistry.
But why did I not choose to be a doctor instead??

Other things being equal, I prefer cooking than baking.
Now, what's the connection??
You'll see;p

Being a doctor is like baking cakes.
Once you put the dough in the oven that's it.
Whatever you did wrong, you cannot rectify.
Same with being a doctor.
Once you give wrong medication, it is hard to rectify.
If it was only an aspirin prescription it's OK. *im sure aspirin doesnt need prescription;p*
What if the wrong medication only make the real illness worse.
Take one case.

A lady in her mid 60s keep coughing, and heavy breath.
Her children brought her to a pulmonologist. He is titled professor in pulmonologist. *how cool does that sound?*
The doctor said that was TB.

Tuberculosis (TB) is a common and often deadly infectious disease caused by mycobacteria, usually Mycobacterium tuberculosis in humans.Tuberculosis usually attacks the lungs but can also affect other parts of the body.
(Source: Wikipedia)

He gave this lady a prescription for TB but instead of getting better, the coughing was getting worse.
Her children decided to bring this poor lady to Singapore.
Yes, Singapore;p
It turned out it was a lung cancer.
It was in early stage but the size of the cyst (when you have cancer you also have cyst, eh?anyone to confirm?) was abnormal.
An early stage of lung cancer would not cause that big of a cyst.
Further investigation by the Singapore doctor said that the TB prescription had caused the cyst to become that big.
Ouch!!

That was a bad case turns good.
Bad case turns worse??there is!!
Once there was an old gentleman hospitalised and given wrong medication that resulted in death.
The medication pouch was labelled 8, which means it's for patient in bed number 8, but he was in bed number 9.
Ouch ouch!!

So, why not a doctor??
Too big of a responsibility.
Playing too close to someone's life.
Scared me even before I enrolled in medicine faculty hahaha~~

And, why cooking??
When you forgot to put salt or whatever.
Simply put back the dish on the wok, put some salt, toss for a while, put back on the plate.
Ready to serve.
No fuss!!;p

Now you know why I dont want to be a doctor, why I hate baking, why I love cooking...

Dearest Blackberry..

2009-11-27T07:30:00.000-08:00

I just lost my dearest Blackberry phone.
I still cant believe it. It's not that I cant live without that.
I used to be that way, but now Im sure I can. v v sure.
It's just that the moment that he stole my phone still keep playing itself inside my head like some sort of short movie.

My friend told me to let it go.
Yes, I can. It's not about the phone per se, nor the money.
As a matter of fact, my dad already asked me whether I want a new one.
But I still cant think of having another BB.
Call me mellow, call me melancholic, but I am.

It's about the memories inside.
Too many photos, and blog drafts, and other unimportant details.
No important details such as my bank account or whatever.
Too many memories I've had together with the phone.
It had been my friend since last year. It has reconnect me with friends.
It had helped me tons.
I already miss it...T.T

And there are too many ifs.
If I didnt go to city
If I went back up and took my cardigan
If I didnt check fb
If I went out from my friend's place earlier
If only I werent such an fb-whore
If...
If....
If.....
If......
If.......
If.........
See??
Way too many..

And my mom doesnt seem to care at all.
When I told my dad, his response was "So what now?? just let it go. I'll buy you a new one"
When I told my mom, her response was, "Dont forget to block your pin, and report it to BB show room. are you ok?"
My mom supposedly able to do more of sweet-talking than my dad.
So I told her, "physically Im ok, but mentally Im still shocked, regretful and so on so on"
Her response to that was, "Yeah, but dont forget to block your pin"
Is that all you can say mom???
Even dad is able to do more sweet-talking.

Anw, bye my dearest Blackberry
Hope you find a good new user that take care of you carefully.
You've been a good friend of mine.
You were the only one who was there when I was so down during all this semester.
Miss you heaps.

Papa dan Putri Kecilnya

2009-11-26T03:56:00.001-08:00

Biasanya, bagi seorang anak perempuan yang sudah dewasa, yang sedang bekerja diperantauan, yang ikut suaminya merantau di luar kota atau luar negeri, yang sedang bersekolah atau kuliah jauh dari kedua orang tuanya.....
Akan sering merasa kangen sekali dengan Mamanya.
Lalu bagaimana dengan Papa?
Mungkin karena Mama lebih sering menelepon untuk menanyakan keadaanmu setiap hari,
tapi tahukah kamu, jika ternyata Papa-lah yang mengingatkan Mama untuk menelponmu?

Mungkin dulu sewaktu kamu kecil, Mama-lah yang lebih sering mengajakmu bercerita atau berdongeng,
tapi tahukah kamu, bahwa sepulang Papa bekerja dan dengan wajah lelah Papa selalu menanyakan pada Mama tentang kabarmu dan apa yang kau lakukan seharian?

Pada saat dirimu masih seorang anak perempuan kecil......
Papa biasanya mengajari putri kecilnya naik sepeda.
Dan setelah Papa mengganggapmu bisa, Papa akan melepaskan roda bantu di sepedamu...
Kemudian Mama bilang : "Jangan dulu Papa, jangan dilepas dulu roda bantunya" ,
Mama takut putri manisnya terjatuh lalu terluka....
Tapi sadarkah kamu?
Bahwa Papa dengan yakin akan membiarkanmu, menatapmu, dan menjagamu mengayuh sepeda dengan seksama karena dia tahu putri kecilnya PASTI BISA.

Pada saat kamu menangis merengek meminta boneka atau mainan yang baru, Mama menatapmu iba.
Tetapi Papa akan mengatakan dengan tegas : "Boleh, kita beli nanti, tapi tidak sekarang"
Tahukah kamu, Papa melakukan itu karena Papa tidak ingin kamu menjadi anak yang manja dengan semua tuntutan yang selalu dapat dipenuhi?

Saat kamu sakit pilek, Papa yang terlalu khawatir sampai kadang sedikit membentak dengan berkata :
"Sudah di bilang! kamu jangan minum air dingin!".
Berbeda dengan Mama yang memperhatikan dan menasihatimu dengan lembut.
Ketahuilah, saat itu Papa benar-benar mengkhawatirkan keadaanmu.

Ketika kamu sudah beranjak remaja....
Kamu mulai menuntut pada Papa untuk dapat izin keluar malam, dan Papa bersikap tegas dan mengatakan: "Tidak boleh!".
Tahukah kamu, bahwa Papa melakukan itu untuk menjagamu?
Karena bagi Papa, kamu adalah sesuatu yang sangat - sangat luar biasa berharga..

Setelah itu kamu marah pada Papa, dan masuk ke kamar sambil membanting pintu...
Dan yang datang mengetok pintu dan membujukmu agar tidak marah adalah Mama....
Tahukah kamu, bahwa saat itu Papa memejamkan matanya dan menahan gejolak dalam batinnya,
Bahwa Papa sangat ingin mengikuti keinginanmu, Tapi lagi-lagi dia HARUS menjagamu?

Ketika saat seorang cowok mulai sering menelponmu, atau bahkan datang ke rumah untuk menemuimu, Papa akan memasang wajah paling cool sedunia.... :')
Papa sesekali menguping atau mengintip saat kamu sedang ngobrol berdua di ruang tamu..
Sadarkah kamu, kalau hati Papa merasa cemburu?

Saat kamu mulai lebih dipercaya, dan Papa melonggarkan sedikit peraturan untuk keluar rumah untukmu, kamu akan memaksa untuk melanggar jam malamnya.
Maka yang dilakukan Papa adalah duduk di ruang tamu, dan menunggumu pulang dengan hati yang sangat khawatir...
Dan setelah perasaan khawatir itu berlarut - larut...
Ketika melihat putri kecilnya pulang larut malam hati Papa akan mengeras dan Papa memarahimu.. .
Sadarkah kamu, bahwa ini karena hal yang di sangat ditakuti Papa akan segera datang?
"Bahwa putri kecilnya akan segera pergi meninggalkan Papa"

Setelah lulus SMA, Papa akan sedikit memaksamu untuk menjadi seorang Dokter atau Insinyur.
Ketahuilah, bahwa seluruh paksaan yang dilakukan Papa itu semata - mata hanya karena memikirkan masa depanmu nanti...
Tapi toh Papa tetap tersenyum dan mendukungmu saat pilihanmu tidak sesuai dengan keinginan Papa

Ketika kamu menjadi gadis dewasa...
Dan kamu harus pergi kuliah dikota lain...
Papa harus melepasmu di bandara.
Tahukah kamu bahwa badan Papa terasa kaku untuk memelukmu?
Papa hanya tersenyum sambil memberi nasehat ini - itu, dan menyuruhmu untuk berhati-hati. .
Padahal Papa ingin sekali menangis seperti Mama dan memelukmu erat-erat.
Yang Papa lakukan hanya menghapus sedikit air mata di sudut matanya, dan menepuk pundakmu berkata "Jaga dirimu baik-baik ya sayang".
Papa melakukan itu semua agar kamu KUAT...kuat untuk pergi dan menjadi dewasa.

Disaat kamu butuh uang untuk membiayai uang semester dan kehidupanmu, orang pertama yang mengerutkan kening adalah Papa.
Papa pasti berusaha keras mencari jalan agar anaknya bisa merasa sama dengan teman-temannya yang lain

Ketika permintaanmu bukan lagi sekedar meminta boneka baru, dan Papa tahu ia tidak bisa memberikan yang kamu inginkan...
Kata-kata yang keluar dari mulut Papa adalah : "Tidak.... Tidak bisa!"
Padahal dalam batin Papa, Ia sangat ingin mengatakan "Iya sayang, nanti Papa belikan untukmu".
Tahukah kamu bahwa pada saat itu Papa merasa gagal membuat anaknya tersenyum?

Saatnya kamu diwisuda sebagai seorang sarjana.
Papa adalah orang pertama yang berdiri dan memberi tepuk tangan untukmu.
Papa akan tersenyum dengan bangga dan puas melihat "putri kecilnya yang tidak manja berhasil tumbuh dewasa, dan telah menjadi seseorang"

Sampai saat seorang teman Lelakimu datang ke rumah dan meminta izin pada Papa untuk mengambilmu darinya.
Papa akan sangat berhati-hati memberikan izin..
Karena Papa tahu.....
Bahwa lelaki itulah yang akan menggantikan posisinya nanti.

Dan akhirnya....

Saat Papa melihatmu duduk di Panggung Pelaminan bersama seseorang Lelaki yang di anggapnya pantas menggantikannya, Papa pun tersenyum bahagia....
Apakah kamu mengetahui, di hari yang bahagia itu Papa pergi kebelakang panggung sebentar, dan menangis?

Papa menangis karena papa sangat berbahagia, kemudian Papa berdoa....
Dalam lirih doanya kepada Tuhan, Papa berkata: "Ya Allah tugasku telah selesai dengan baik...
Putri kecilku yang lucu dan kucintai telah menjadi wanita yang cantik....
Bahagiakanlah ia bersama suaminya..."

Setelah itu Papa hanya bisa menunggu kedatanganmu bersama cucu-cucunya yang sesekali datang untuk menjenguk...
Dengan rambut yang telah dan semakin memutih...
Dan badan serta lengan yang tak lagi kuat untuk menjagamu dari bahaya....
Papa telah menyelesaikan tugasnya....

Papa, Ayah, Bapak, atau Abah kita...
Adalah sosok yang harus selalu terlihat kuat...
Bahkan ketika dia tidak kuat untuk tidak menangis...
Dia harus terlihat tegas bahkan saat dia ingin memanjakanmu. .
Dan dia adalah yang orang pertama yang selalu yakin bahwa "KAMU BISA" dalam segala hal..

Saat cinta mengenal salah

2009-11-22T15:52:00.000-08:00

Kata orang cinta itu indah, tapi buta.
Sampai ada yang bilang kalo sudah cinta, tai kucing rasa coklat.
Ada cinta yang berjalan smoothly di jalanan yang berbatu.
Ada cinta yang menemui terlalu banyak hambatan di jalanan yang beraspal.

Saat kekuatan cinta diuji, saat waktu mengejar jawaban cinta.
Saat cinta bukan lagi urusan 2 insan.
Saat integritas cinta mulai dipertanyakan.
Terlebih lagi eksistensi dan kontinuitas nya.
Itulah saat cinta mengenal salah.

Cinta itu indah,
tapi saat indahnya cinta tidak lagi memberi ruang untuk bernafas tapi malah menghimpit dan bikin sesak nafas.
Hingga akhirnya yang bisa keluar hanyalah hembusan nafas penuh lelah dan seember air mata.
Tak ada lagi kata gombal dan rayu yang indah.
Saat itulah cinta mengenal salah.

Salahkah cinta?
bila harus tumbuh di tanah yang harus digemburkan berkali-kali sebelum akhirnya dia bisa tumbuh subur dan berkembang.
Salahkah?

For a friend who is fighting hard for just a sip of happiness,
and a taste of love..
Fight hard, dear!
and fight well..=)

The one with her fave author

2009-11-14T06:27:00.000-08:00

So,
I have this favourite author of mine. Her name is Clara Ng.
And yes yes yes, she is Indonesian, and a BIG YES she is talented.
She has written quite many worth-reading, worth-buying, worth-rereading books such as Indiana Chronicles *and this blog is named after my fave male char*, Dimsum terakhir (The last Dimsum, rd), Tiga Venus (Three venus(es), rd), and so on.

The only thing that disturbs me is that every single one of her novel that I have read, except Utukki - Sayap Dewa (Utukki - the gods wings), I can find their counterparts.

WARNING!
SPOILER ALERTT..!!!

The obvious one and the one that all chicklit lovers have been talking about is Indiana Chronicles. The story of Indiana was very much like Shopaholic. I know Clara Ng was not plagiarist for the story line was not the same but the idea, the main character's (Indiana, rd) features was very much same except that Indiana was not a shopaholic.

Dimsum Terakhir is very much similar to Danielle Steel's novel. I forgot the title, but Im very very sure it's DS' novel. Both have the story of three sisters who were separated by their own characteristics. They didnt hate each other, they just didnt love each other affectionately. One day, an event happened that unite them together and let them gone through things that strengthen the bond between them. Of course *again* Clara Ng didnt plagiarise for Dimsum Terakhir take the Chinese-Indonesian background while DS *ohhh how i love DS* is westerners.

Next one is the Unreality Show, it was similar to Sidney Sheldon's novel. They both were about someone who has multiple personality disorder and have -interestingly- as much as 8-10 alter egos *scary, eh?*
Of course *again and again* the story arent the same for SS' one is very much detective alike and CN's one is more to comedy.

The most shocking one, because this one I havent even read the counterpart and I just found out only recently, is the Tiga Venus.
The story of Tiga Venus is very unique. It is unreal, because the story was about three very very different women whose souls are just swapped with each others', but very very interesting and CN just wrote it beautifully.
The story also carries a good moral, in a sense that you have to satisfy yourself with what you have because what you see good in others might not do good to you.
I was just browsing on Tullamarine airport's bookstore one day, when my eye caught one of Jane Green's boooks. She is also one of my favourite authors especially for her "Second Chance" *four thumbs up yaaaaayyyy..!!*
The title was read something like life swapping or swapping life or swapped life *too many choices already..haha* or something like that. I was like, "hhhmm...this is interestingg.." as I was just finished my Tiga Venus book.
So, I read the synopsis, and I was soooooo so so so so soooo shocked that I told my housemate straight away. It was the very same idea with Tiga Venus.

On one of her books, Clara Ng declared something like "I dont care if people called me plagiarist, I just am not."
well, she might be she might not be.
I would very much like to met her one day..just to have a chat with her.
That would be interesting, ya reckon???hahaha;p

Anyway,
plagiarist or not, she is one talented author and I just really really enjoy reading her novels.
*except Utukki..sorry Clara Ng..that one was done miserably.=(*
Maybe if one day she can write her own novel from her own inspiration *something like genuinely genuine Clara Ng*, I would like to read that book very much.
until that time arrives, I will just read whatever idea she just took from others and make it into her own novels.
Plagiarism or not..haha.

Under melbourne sky

2009-11-08T06:12:00.000-08:00

Sun+day=sunday
A sunny sunday....
I am tanned. It was so hot that my Fredo gelato melted in just few minutes..
I waste few drops of my roche gelato..hahaha.
But that didnt stop us to eat Thai food still. Ying Thai + Fredo = Heaven under melbourne sky.haha.

Saturday night I stayed over at my friend's place just because we, two crazy girls, suddenly decided to watch Christmas Carol.
That was a good cartoon movie except that the "three spirits" was horror!!
even for us. So, definitely that wasnt for children consumption.

Anyway, I am listening to "under adelaide sky"
A good song by Adhitya Sofyan.
I guess, by his name, he is an Indonesian.
His pronounciation was good though.
This song has successfully made me all mellow.

I am having my last two exam papers on 13th and 16th.
After that, I will be an official unemployed fresh graduate.
What am I gonna do next?
Moving to Sydney?
Moving to Singapore?
My parents expect me to stay here in Australia.
However, seeing the fact that no Permanent Residency application are to be processed in the next 2 years, I am now not all convinced that I still want to stay here in Aust.
I want so much to move to Singapore.
I want to live the life I have been dreaming of as a professional.
I cant picture myself living here in Melbourne forever.
I want to settle down in Singapore..
But I cant help with the fact that I am asian, Chinese with Indonesian background where it is the culture that a child's life is parents' dream..>.<

What will become of me?Idk.
but this much I know, I am not yet ready to leave all things that I have here.
At least not now=)

with God

2009-11-06T06:10:00.001-08:00

What would you do if you fell for a person that you know would never fall for you?
What would you do if you wanted a thing that you can never have?
What would you do if you felt like already having what you want but suddenly it was taken away in a blink of eye?

One thing I know.
I will try so hard.....
To just hanging on.
To walk with head straight up.
To walk with poise.

With God;)

The one with the thank you and conventional way of thinking

2009-11-04T01:02:00.000-08:00

Such a simple phrase "thank you"
As technology is evolving, people grew apart.
Such simple phrase such as "Im sorry", "thank you", "Please" are all pretty much forgotten.
Young parents nowadays are more concerned with what their children are wearing, what extracurricular courses their children are enrolled in so that they will rank better in their class.
Children nowadays are more like parents' trophies.
They often forgot to remind their kids to say thank you even to a maid or a driver working for their family.
Quite so many times I watch kids said something like this to their maid, "pick my socks and put my shoes back in the shoe rack!" and they forgot one simple word "PLEASE" or simply "THANK YOU"
Even my 7yo cousin did that. I was shocked.

This afternoon, as I was catching my breath after swam 4 laps, I noticed a boy around 2 yo playing with his dad.
His dad pretty much look like Jesus in one of Kevjumba's videos "Scaring Jesus". Try to find it on youtube. That video made me laughed so hard;p
Anyway, back to topic, after a while I realize that that boy has an older brother around 4-5 yo joining the swimming course that was still in progress that time.
Few minutes later, I saw the class had been dismissed and he ran to join his little brother and father instantenously *such a nice family they have there;)*
Suddenly I saw this boy *goshh he was sooooo cute..way too cute..If I could, I would ran into him just to pinch his cheek once. the temptation was so big though..LOL* ran back to his swimming teacher and shyly spoke "thank you" *aaww..that was way too cute..I cant help smiling*
When he realised his teacher did not hear, he pulled his teacher's hand and said again "thank you" and maybe because he was too shy, he ran back to his father instantaneously.
The father smiled to the teacher and then petted his head and said to the boy, "good boy" and the father smiled so proudly.
I cant help smiling seeing this happy little family interacting with each other.
Clearly also that the little brother adore his older brother so much.

Another story happened another day, I was going out with two of my friends, a guy and a girl, to watch a movie.
Quite a scary movie that was and my girl friend was so afraid..LOL;p
Finally me and the guy decided to accompany this girl for some times until she calmed down.
So, as we were already in front of the girl's apartment, I suggested that we might as well just go in and have a chat inside.
Then I was shocked when my friend said, "you know im a guy, right?I dont think it is a good idea to have a chat inside. I think we just find some 24 hrs maccas around here."
Maybe my pride didnt allow me to show that I, at that very second, became very respectful towards him.
Such a guy still exist.
That conventional kind of courtesy still exist.
Now, that's amazing, isnt that??;)

Not many people still do that.
Also this does not mean that those who does not do that are actually uneducated or something.
Or maybe I just have too much guy friends that tease me so much that they forgot how to behave in front of me, I honestly dont know..hahaha~~
It is just this few people opened my mind that such words, such a set of thinking are just too beautiful to let them extinct.

Dreams will keep us alive

2009-10-27T07:44:00.000-07:00

Ahh..talking about exam..=)
bitter sweet.

I am in swotvac now (which is basically silent week before the official exam period starts).
This will be my very las swotvac, my very last exam.
I am gonna miss uni, miss my old life, as I usually do.=)
but a friend of mine said
"it's ok if you miss exams, but remember, after this after your graduation, you'll be greeted with new, exciting and mysterious life."

Oh man, I already miss lectures and tutes by now.

Lots of things I am missing from my old life.
My high school life. Cheating during tests, skipping classes and get detention, sleeping in class and get scolded while in uni no one cares if you do any of those things.
My uni life. The laughs during lunch break, the rush to classes, the thoughts of skipping classes and go to Chadstone instead.
Goshh..So many beautiful things.
My life is so beautiful with all the mess, the regret, the love, the hatred, the laughter, and the tears.

Only by this time that I know life is irreversible.
Once you go, there is no turning back.
Whatever done is done and you cannot undo.

I dont know what my future brings. All I know is I have dreams and dreams keep me alive.
Those dreams keep me from falling, remind me to stand up and start walking from where I fell.

One thing I am afraid.
I am not afraid of not being success because only I know what is my success.
People's success is not my success.
I am afraid I will lose all my friend. I am afraid of growing up because growing up means leaving behind all your friends who doesnt grow up at the same pace.

My dreams....
London
Paris
Germany
Holland
Prague
PriceWaterhouse Cooper
Singapore
A family of my own
Ballet and Russia (they are a package and inseparable)

Dreams will keep us alive..=)

Women, be smart, beware!!!

2009-10-27T06:19:00.000-07:00

So, that day, I was sitting next to a friend of mine. She is cute *fyi, no, Im not a lesbian*, with around 155cm height and petite kind of posture. Long story short, she is pretty. Let's just call her J.

There was a guy, actually a friend of mine also but I'll be happy to pretend that I dont know him *you'll find out why later on*, sitting in front of her. Suddenly when people in the room start to make some noise, he took his Blackberry out, held it behind the back of the person next to him, with the camera facing my friend, and guess what???!!!

I HEARD THE SHUTTER OF HIS BLACKBERRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was like "WTH!!!!"
I was stunned. Literally stunned. For few seconds I kept staring at his phone and trying to digest what had just happened.
He was looking ahead, not turning around, like pretending to act normally.
When all of a sudden, he turned around and saw me staring at his BB speechlessly, he started to get nervous.
He stuttered saying "no, nnggg, no, hhmm.. it was -- it wass his.......hhmmm....*while randomly pointing at the guy next to him*" and then he just gave up explaining what he just did.
At that time I still had not recovered from my shock and started to stare at him and his BB.
I was like "AHAA!!dudee!!you're so busted!!!!" but instead I was still so speechless.
I couldnt help to lol only I didnt because that would be awkward. People will start to question my sanity instead of his.haha.

So then, few minutes after, I told another guy who is a close friend of mine.
I told him what this sicko guy had just did to J and my friend, let's call him S, told me "as if you dont know that he likes to watch-slash-look-slash-staring at pretty girls."
I was like "wtfh!!!For goodness sake!!Blah!"
I mean, who doesnt??
If you are a guy then maybe when you look at a pretty girl you might start admiring or might be fantasizing of ohh-God-knows-what.
If you are a girl, hey!!admit it you will also stare at her admiring her beauty and will start to see how she did her eyes, her cheek, her hair blah blah.
But no sensible person will do what he did!!
Secretly taking photos of other people. Goshh.. He is a PhD student *if Im not mistaken* for crying out loud but he did something so low that I dont think even a kindergarten student will do.

I didnt tell J of what happened that day because I think she might freak out.
So, until today she didnt know that kind of thing even happened.
And I, honestly, am still thinking that she is better off not knowing.

Sooo......
Women, be smart!
beware!!
crazy guys are all around you!!;p

ps: even if you are not pretty, beware!!;p

The love that's gone

2009-10-22T15:24:00.000-07:00

I once loved, and was loved
I had you once in my life.
Albeit I dont get to keep you forever
because our forever ended one evening
as the winter wind blew.

But Im grateful you've ever been in my life.
I thank the lord still, for every smile you gave me.
for every bits of the love and laugh
for every bits and pieces.

Because the gap between us just grew larger and larger and never shrink again.
That much i knew.
And that's when the love started to hurt me.

People come and go.
You've gone.
But the memories stay.
And I've got to keep them.
This time, forever.

VaniGo
For the love that was blown away by the winter wind.

The story of ice cream seller and a poor kid

2009-10-21T06:12:00.000-07:00

One afternoon, an 8yo boy came to an ice cream shop. Because he was so short, he had to tip on his toe just to see the waitress. He dressed up so ungracefully, so contrary to the nicely fitted ice cream shop.
He asked the waitress, "How much is the sundae cream?".
The waitress said, "five thousand rupiah".
He took some coins from his pocket and started counting while the waitress wait impatiently because behind there was a long line of people with real money who also came to have some ice cream.
Then the boy asked again, "what about the plain cream?". The waitress, looking down at the poor boy, said "It is three thousand five hundred rupiah." and again the boy counted his coins.
Suddenly he made a decision and said, "OK, I'll have the plain cream" and tendered his 3500 rupiah in turn of his ice cream.
After a while, it is time for the waitress to clean the tables. When cleaning the table where the boy sat, she was shocked.
There laid on the table, 2 coins of 500 rupiah, and 5 coins of 100 rupiah (added up to 1500) stacked neatly on the table. The waitress suddenly felt a poignant feeling of sadness and regretfulness.
Actually, that boy could afford a plate of sundae cream. But he sacrificed his own wants for the sake of giving some tip to the waitress and yet she looked down on that boy.

What a beautiful story to teach us how to appreciate all people equally and not the rich only because sometimes the poor are those who know the hardship of life and so, they are more tolerant, more thoughtful to others.
A story to be our wake up call, that we are often times being the waitress. Thinking that we are better than the others, better looking, smarter, richer, know more knowledge while all we do was just making us look like a fool to the world.

Anywayyy...
I was watching a new Tw drama called Xia yi zhan, xinfu (next stop, happiness).
There were so many sweet lines in the drama that I would like to quote. Unfortunately I forgot some of them. So, let's see what I got here..haha;p
Too bad I can't write the Chinese character..=(

Boy when leaving the girl:
"Ni yi ge ren xiao xin yi dian, you shi jiao wo"
(you be careful when I leave you alone, if anything happen, just call me) aawww..;p

Boy said to the girl:
"Wo xiang gen ni sho. Yi hou, ru guo ni yu dao le shen me wei xian, bu yao jiao BoHoLong, ni zi yao jiao RenGuangXi. Wo jiu hui chu xian, jiu ni de."
(I just want to tell you, if you encounter some trouble, don't call BoHoLong, you just have to call RenGuangXi. I will come, and save you) aawwwww..so sweett;p

That's all I can recall.
The main male character was played by Vaness wu and the girl was played by the same girl who played in The Outsider. Her name is An YiXuan, if Im not mistaken.
This drama is pretty much similar to F4 *especially with Vaness Wu as the main male character..;p*

Anyway, time to go and sleep..
Nitezz..;)

2009-10-11T07:00:00.000-07:00

WARNING

This post contains some material that might cause disagreement. Readers discretion and sensibility is a MUST. If you are not sensible, close the tab, the window whatsoever.. OR just move to the next post.. kamsia looohhhh;p

So, I was on the train *again* and my imagination went wild..;p
and i was wondering, if you could ask God to make your future just as you like it, what kind of future will you ask??
of course we assume God will grant whatever you wish.
I know this much is impossible. But when imagination gone wild, nothing is impossible..;p

So, if I could as God, I would as God to give me a husband who is a photographer, or a journalist who would together with me *yes!!that's the point*, go around the world, taking photos, writing articles.
Why is that so?? because there is FREEDOMMM!! *yyaaayy..!!*
Today you could be in London, the next week you could be in Paris, the next day you might end up at some different yet exciting country, the next week, God knew where!!

The closer I am to become an official citizen of the world (read: finish this sux uni life) the more it got me into thinking about what I want, what I will be, what I will do.
I could wake up one day wanting to be an auditor or cost accountant with frantic working hour.
Or waking up the next day wanting to be a photographer or a journalist who can go around the world and get paid *yeaahh!!those people ftw*, only to find the next week those dreams has yet again changed into something like being a housewife, staying at home taking care of kids and making a hella lot of money using my finance knowledge
*now i can hear people yelling "booo!!bullshitt!!you hate finance by that much, Vania"*
yeah i do!!;p
but i believe that you believe that this belief is true:

"there is only a fine line between love and hate"

aw aw awww..talking about love..
what do you think those birds are in?
are they in love??
or, are they in lust??
take a closer lookk...!!!
yeahh..so, are they in love? are they in lust??
what they do next is rather inappropriate and private *which is why i didnt take any pictures of them* the white bird just got on top of the black one. After a few seconds of a light bumping, or jumping, *whatsoever!!I know you know what I mean!!hahaha* they just flew away..LOL.
I guess they are booking a bird motel or something..LOL.

That is why children should not be wandering around by themselves on any station throughout Australia!!;p
Because that might be what they see under no adult surveilance..hahahaha.
What a sicko bird..LOL

Anyway, leave some comments as to what will you ask God *as if that is even possible*??

Call me racist call me shallow..but they are smelly and so ooohhh..!!

2009-09-30T02:53:00.000-07:00

I was on the train heading back home after undergoing some health check.
which means my blood was sucked by that damn syringe!! *i hate you, syringes*
that was only small amount of blood *of course, otherwise i wont be writing this post now* but nonetheless i felt so queasy, weary like some sign of anemic.. *exaggeration!!;p*
the already bad thing had just became worse when someone board the train, sending signal of some nasty aroma, and the worst of my day had just begun when she sat in front of me..for goodness sake!!~~

She was so smelly, stinky, smell like some old rotten bok choy!!
she is not asian, just in case if you guys are wondering because I put the magic word "racist" on the title.

that was on flinders st station. i tried to just sit there and cover my nose, trying not to vomit, just because i didnt want to hurt her feeling assuming she would go down several station after..
But 3 stations after and she still did not go down, i waited until the train approaching the next station and then i moved seat, pretending i was leaving the train.
Good thing that I moved because apparently she went down at the same station with me which means around 40 minutes from Flinders st station minus three stations after..

And that got me to think. how much extra money do you spend to take a shower every now and then??does that hurt you to have a shower every now and then??how long have you clean your house since the last you did??
As my fave vlogger, Nigahiga, said in his latest "off the pill - stink people" vlog,
you STINK PEOPLE are making this world bulimicc!!!!!
you are hurting yourself and hurting others around you.
you are hurting the WORLD!!
please take a shower, people!!how is taking a shower gonna hurt you??and that wont take much of your time. have a quick shower and we all will be peacefully riding the train........or the bus....and the tram!!

Today, I promised myself to study at home. to rush my assignments *because I have 3 and they are due in just one week time* but I ended up watching MyChoony on youtube and having a fling for ShimmyCocoPuffsss..
Hey, i know he's got a gf but i've gotta say he is hott..hahahaha :D
you are some hot stuff, dude!!but i watched your old videos and i dont like the you in you puber time. i like you now better..hahaha.
however, that's not gonna change the fact that my most faves are nigahiga and kevjumba.........and happyslip *im not sexist;p*

anyway, got to go back to my assignment.
ciaooo..

Happy belated bday to me

2009-09-27T06:57:00.000-07:00

I was bashed, cold water *in a cold early-spring night*, with egg, and flour..
after pictures and pictures, i took a shower.

out from shower, another round is waiting for me..*and i was helpless*
and so i was covered in tomato sauce and bbq sauce from head to toe.
yeah, my dear friends did that..

So, that incident plus chocolate cake and another cheesecake marked my 21st bday.
a special day, for most people.
anyway, i hate my 21st bday.
not because i dont want to live *for goodness sake!!*
i am just not ready with the responsibilities, life challenge, burden that comes with the number two-enty-one;p

and so, there are questions that come with those reasons for not enjoying my two-enty-one-st birthday.
the foremost question was from my bff "what sorts of burden and responsibilities??"
lets take an example, given the exact same situation and same mistake, only that the wrong-doer was 15 yo vs 21 yo. how will people react on each of those situation?

Miss Maria Teresa Vania Sumargo has done, although little *NONE!!* but convincing, research and found out that:
15 yo: "that's alright, she is just 15 yo. understandable. this will be a lesson for her so that she wont do the same mistake when she's all grown-up"
*wow wow wowwwwww...*
21 yo: "she's a dumbass, stupid moron, how old is she??for goodness sake!!she's twenty onee!!"
*hell yeahhh..*

lets make another scenario.........
two unemployed, both are girls, age 21 vs 26.
how will people react??
Again, according to Miss Maria Teresa Vania Sumargo uber-unreal research, *muwahaha* she found out that:
21 yo: she's just 21, she just graduated from uni. more over it is economy downturn. just bear with hear another few months.."
26 yo: she's supposed to have a stable income by now. How could she be unemployed in such a condition. it is economy downturn and she cant even support herself??her parents are still supporting her? oh my goodness"
*uh-ohhh..*

see the difference noww??

as someone grows, people will start growing expectation of him/her.
as you grow older and older, you have even less and less chance of screwing your life up. which in some condition is inevitable.

nonetheless it's up to that person as to how he/she will react to this burden and responsibilities.
I chose to face this gracefully, happily, and with God. this way, the burden has just suddenly become much lighter..

So, happy 21st bday vania..
and hapy 23rd bday nekkk..;p
i love you nek...hahaha;p

ps: so i already settled my debt of a post on my birthday;p

When the road of life still lies ahead..

2009-08-19T09:50:00.001-07:00

I was just watching videos on youtube when I found interesting Singaporean director Yasmin Ahmad and tried to search her name on internet.
I found she was just recently dead. Leaving a beautiful project behind that is the film of Thaddeus Cheong, a Singaporean triathlon athlete who was dead on 2007 after he finished his pre-SEA games race.

Anyway, I wont be talking about Yasmin Ahmad, nor I will be talking about Thadd although I will relate this person to Thadd a lot.
I dont know Thad. I just found out about this guy only a few hour ago.
But the grieve of his friends, his closest friends who had fun only a few days before he passed away, who went on a fishing trip a few weeks before, I understand their feeling.
I know how it feels to lose someone you love, someone that you adore, idolised.

I was once had a friend like that.
He passed away when I was 12 and he was 18, now that I am 21, he passed away 9 years ago.
But the pain still lingers and just did not go away. Time did not wash the pain and the loss of a friend, a brother.
Even as I write this I am crying for I miss my friend, my brother.
He was an athlete like Thadd was.
My friend liked to do barongsai (the traditional chinese lion dance).
He had not got a chance to do barongsai few years before his death.
But the last time he did that he passed away, still wearing the lion costume. He went away doing the thing he liked, just like Thadd. He was 18 and Thadd was 17.
My friend was a boy a mother could ever ask. He was a student a teacher could ever ask. He was a friend, a brother, people could ever ask.
See how much alikeness they had..
That was why when I read those blog entries made by Thadd's friends I cant hold back anymore.

I miss my friend too much.
He is the reason why I took accounting, he is the reason why I make myself love accounting. He had a dream that I want so much to fulfill. Though it was a 12-yo's dream, I grow up carrying the dream to fulfill his dream. Without his dream I will not have one, for my dream is his.
He is the one who make me the way I am today.

It's been 9 years and the pain and the emptiness just did not go away.
I want to show him the girl I have become.
His death taught me a lot. I used to think why a boy as perfect as him passed away so fast when the road of his life still lies long ahead. I wonder what he would become if he still lived on now. He'll be 30 yo now. Will he be an athlete still or will he be a business man?

If only I could turn back time..............

May my friend and Thadd rest in peace=)
I hope they are now in a place where there are no happiness, no sadness, just peacefulness.

what does it take to be a beautiful girl??

2009-08-06T06:50:00.000-07:00

Is it our beautiful, famous-branded, designer, clothes?
Is it our bag that costs us thousands of dollars??
Or is it the make ups we put on?
Or maybe is it our 10cm-heel *hell* shoes??
What about our mini skirts??hot pants??bikinis??do they make us look beautiful??
do we look better in our uber pricey, sexy-looking, garment-lacking tops???

Or is it our truly-natural looking self that is carrying our most pure heart that makes us look beautifull??
which one is more appealing? a girl wearing a oh-so-not-elegant burberry pattern shirt but does not look good on her??or a girl who just wear a plain polo shirt but dress up gracefully???

what do u guys reckon??
what defines a person? what makes a person that person?
does a person look better if they use a latest phone on the market??
will a person look better if they eat uber-pricey, unhealthy, fatty food??
or maybe he/she looks better if he/she eats so-called-healthy0but-in-fact-not caesar salad??
fyi, caesar salad is so fatty...!! dont ear caesar salad for the sake of salad-thing because it will make u -still- fatt..!!

at the end of the day, it is your choice to define a beautiful girl.
you choose to be the person you want yourself to be.
beacuse i, personally, believe that if you are yourself, then you will look gorgeous doesnt matter who you are, how do you look, whether you are having a bad hair day, or just wearing a t-shirt and jeans.
the beauty is inside. not outside.
does not matter how you dress, what phone do you use, is it jimmy choo you are wearing, you look gorgeous if you are gorgeous inside.

life is full of choices.
life is hard per se. dont make it harder by trying to be someone else just to please people because you cannot please everybody.
you are who you wanted to be. you already chose to be who you are.

you are who you are and be who you want to be.

agreed???=)

the one with the withdrawal of her best friend..

2009-06-05T09:22:00.000-07:00

Been long since the last post..haha

Anyway, I’ve got a lil bit of problem here.
I have a good friend. A guy.
Just recently I feel that he’s withdrawing himself.
I wanted to ask “hey dude what happened?” but I can’t. Don’t ask me why.. I just cannot. Hahaha.. call me conservative if u want..LOL

Has he found himself a girlfriend and he is afraid that she might get jealous?? Wooww.. Im tempted to think that way but less likely..hahaha but anyway, who knows??=)

Or is he trying to tell me that he felt I like him and he’s trying to tell me “I don’t like u mate. So f*ck off..” hahahaha.. will be shocking if it is..ROFL.
But yeahh.. I feel he’s withdrawing himself. The reason? Only God knows and some of his friends I reckon.

It’s kinda weird…!!! I feel weird because usually we are so close. We always joke around. Even from the way he’s joking with me I can sense that it’s somehow different. Feels like he is trying to keep some distance between us. Was it just me or he actually is???
And the other day, he accused me –jokingly- that I lied to him..
WTH mateee!!! I didn’t lie about anything. I have never hid anything from you. You are one of my closest friends. I wont hide things from my close friends cos’ you guys are my second family..=) was this “so-called lie” is the reason for the distance??

ORRRRRR…the worst thing that I can think is that I did make a mistake!!!
OhMyDearestGod..!!! did I ?????
Anyway, I hope this weird feeling is just one sided..=)
I hope I didn’t make a mistake.. I am truly madly deeply sorry dory morry if I did.. Of course you know I didn’t mean to do so..T.T

I have another idea popped out in my head just a moment ago. Maybe he does that for "this" reason that is kinda inappropriate to put it down here..
Not that he liked me because I believe not for any shit on this world he will!!!hahaha=p *and I am pretty sure this reason cannot be categorized as inappropriate*
so, just leave this out.

SO, to finish this...
xoxo my dear friend..i miss the old you =(
and please let me know when the old you has came backk..:)

Ps: exam period is coming ahead, I expect a weight gain of 1-2 kilos in the next two weeks..

PPs: A gain of 3-4 kilos is also expected taking into account my swollen body resulted from staying up late..haha

Ps again: also I might be an anti-social person until 22 June 2009. And I might experience more sensitive feeling during that period so just bear with me for a moment..hahahaha=p *finding excuses*

PPs again: Yaaaayyyyy..I still have an elective subject left so, it means, I can take Chinese as my elective. And believe me, I will take the level that wont bore the hell out of me, but will make me graduate by the end of this year..!!!hahaha=)

In His own time, in His own unique ways..

2009-05-05T06:11:00.000-07:00

I have just found out that one of my friend had just had her breast operated.
Not cancer, just a lump but still that was a strange thing in your body which in the future might *or might not* grow into a cancer.
I confirmed to another friend what was actually happened.

Grey's Anatomy come to the rescue...=)
A friend gave her grey's anatomy.
What happened was this friend of mine knew something felt so weird with her boobs but only after watching grey's anatomy that she realised thing maybe that bad.
That is actually the episodes where an old lady came to the hospital saying something is wrong with her boobs and this episode just happened to be similar to my friend's case that she went to see a doctor..
So happeningg..!!

God has His own plan, His own ways, His own time.
Human can make thounsands of plans, but none of them can override God's.
This friend of mine for example.
Who wants to have problems like hers??
Noone!!
That was every girls' bad dream. Noone wants to have any lump on her breast.
That will not make a woman Not-woman..at least in my opinion.
But still, it might bring any psychological effect as we live in Indonesia where people's opinion dictates the way we have to behave.

I am amazed..I am truly truly amazed.
God is good. God is amazing.
Who would think that one episode of a drama can save my friend's life??
I guess this might have happened a lot of times but this time it happened in front of me.
I witnessed the goodness of God.
Everything happen in His time...
Im still amazed..No words can describee..

One lesson I got here,
Believe in God..
Have faith in Him and everything is gonna be fine because He has good plan and not a plan of destruction..

Another lessonn......
WATCH GREY'S ANATOMYYY..!!!!!
It's good, people..
And its usefulness is pro..hahaha=p

PS: Dedicated to my friend Valen..
Everything is gonna be fine darl..Jesus loves u..and so do I..=)

A journey of faith in Jesus

2009-05-01T08:14:00.000-07:00

I want to share a very very interesting reflection I heard from a friend who got this from a priest and she really did contemplate this.
“Jesus is your GPS”
WHAT??!!
Yes people, Jesus is your GPS.

Do you know how GPS work? I bet every people do.
Jesus in some ways guide you throughout your life like GPS do. He will tell you which direction to go, which turn to take, where the round about is, etc. Jesus has the map of your life, all roads and streets you can take.

This friend of mine shared her experience with using a GPS. She knows how to go to the place she usually has her cell group. However, that day, having heard of this reflection, she tried the GPS. What happened was that GPS gave her a different route than the one she usually takes. As she had some spare time she thought she might as well try this different route. This route was a total different from the route she is familiar with but having said that she tried to “have faith” in the GPS and start following the route it gave her. While driving she was contemplating about the GPS being the analogy of her journey of faith.

Even when you are still in the womb, Jesus has calculated your route in coming back to Him. Jesus has given you the best possible way to find Him. He does know you and your limit as a human and therefore He calculated roads and street that will not give you obstacles that you cannot deal with. But what always happen is that you are always get distracted with things on the way. You always made your way out of calculated route and even though the GPS has told you “wrong turn..wrong turnn..” you will make that turn anyway because you found something very interesting on that road. Every GPS will re-calculate your route and so does Jesus. He will re-calculate your journey so that you will get back on track. The re-calculation will sometimes take a long time and sometimes not. It will sometimes also direct you to road that you are not familiar with and maybe through road that you find it difficult to deal with. However, be assured that that road will take you to your destination safe and sound for Lord has promised us plans to prosper and no to harm, and a future filled with hope (Jeremiah 29:11).
In the end, my friend chose to go the way the GPS directed her and she arrived safely at her destination. That is exactly how we should keep our faith in Jesus.

When your GPS starts to annoy you turn it OFF but don’t turn Jesus OFF.. Stay tune in Him always =)
Install a new GPS when your old GPS is broken, but never ever “install” a new Jesus because Jesus never obsolete.
Last but not least, Jesus is not a GPS and a GPS is not Jesus. But have faith in Jesus like you do in your GPS.

VaniGo 020509
Thanks to Tina dan tumpangannya pulang dan cerita2 menarik yang selalu di-share sama saya=)

Why is it called friendship??

2009-03-25T04:29:00.000-07:00

Have you ever thought why people called it friendship?

Friendship is unlike love.
whilst love can be one sided, friendship can never be.
That is why to me friendship is more important than love.

Why friend+ship?
because when you become friend you are on the same boat.
You experienced the same thing, you know things that the other know.
You suffered from the same weather, you fight the same enemy.
When something goes wrong you fix things together.
You complete each other in a way a love sometimes failed to do.

If that is so then why hiding things from each other?
Hiding things is a form of lying.
Friend never lied to each other because once you did friends can never trust each other again.
It will just damn well ruin your journey..

Anywayy...,
If eating is a crime..
Then, i missed my partners in crime..
Gendut dan Kebo...i miss u so muchhhhh..=p
Hope your grandpa is okayy..
I do really miss our outings.
Miss your big apetite..*uuppsss*
Miss the dvd hunting..
Come here soon matesss...*and dont forget bring me some richeese*

P.S: of kros I do miss Rosa my partner in good deeds as well as bad deeds..lol

8th February '09

2009-02-08T10:02:00.001-08:00

I think there is something different with one of my friends.
2 hari yang lalu dia bilang nanti Rabu bakal undergo a high risk surgery. Kelihatannya hari itu dia khawatir banget. Reasonable sih soalnya kalo dipikir2 if I were him ya sama saya juga bakal khawatir sangat.
And today, dia beda jadi pendiam. Usually,kita chat seharian dari pagi sampe malem ngomong ini itu. Hari ini dia lebih pendiam. Ga tau dia ada memang lg ada masalah lain yang ga bisa cerita ke aku atau emang masih kepikiran masalah surgery itu.
I feel like as a friend I'm so useless ga bisa bantuin apa2. Yah aku juga ga expect dia bakal cerita masalahnya kalo emang terlalu pribadi sihh. I just feel like helping if I can.
Well,anyway if u read this u know who u are dan soal surgery itu percaya aja lah sama si prof kan om anda juga suka tanya2 sama dia berarti dia bisa dipercaya tohh hehehe. The rest let God do His wonderful works. I believe ur gonna be okayyy..=)
I can do nothing juga paling2 cuma comfort u doankk..mau diajak ngmg soal penyakitnya juga ga ngertiii..hehehe=p

Anyway, tiba2 kepikiran dalam pikiranku. Nasib orang di dunia ini bener2 unpredictable.
There is this person I know. 3 minggu lalu orang ini masih baik2 masih bisa tertawa bercanda tadi pagi tiba2 ada kabar orang ini meninggal *my condolences*.
On the other hand, ga kebayang juga malem ini bakal have fun se-fun2-nya. Hehehe.

Hmm..it's late, time to sleep.
Perasaan sudah lebih enteng kalo ginii..haha.
Seharian kepikiran ada apa dengan konco plek saya iniii.. Apakah saya dicuekin karena kesalahan saya hari ituu??? I'm so sorry yah kalo iyaaa=(
Susah juga yah kalo jadi org terlalu gampang mikirin org laen. Tp jd org terlalu cuek ya susah. Pusing ga tuh???=)

First Love Never Dies??!!

2008-12-27T00:18:00.000-08:00

Is it true first love never dies??

Once I was in love with someone say Mr X.
That was when we were in 4th grade.
*omg that was like thousand years agoo:p*
It was a monkey love and we never date not until today.

We grew up to became a very best friend a BF without the second F and you'll know why later on:p
We never hesitate to share everything we have, every story we heard, every occasion we experience. We never know the word embarrassing because none of those stories are never did to us. We share almost everything. Even when our parents were fighting we will call the other and cried out loud.
We fought so many times but we still reconcile in a pretty silly way.always.

We grew even older, made more friends, met more people, experienced more of life's bitter and sweet.
Until one day we had that big fight and never reconcile until today.
He hurt my feeling. I know I did too.
However, somehow if God give me the chance to I still wants to be his friend again.BFF this time I hope.
It will always comes up the first on my grown up xmas list.

Growing up, I learnt that true love never dies.
Neither will it survive.
Only true love will never dies and eventually will survive forever until death do it part=)

unimportant call

2008-11-24T16:14:00.000-08:00

0658 in the morning....
the phone rang
I reluctantly picked it up, silently saying this call better be important...!!

And the story goes.........
Caller (Cr): Hallo, bisa bicara dengan Bu Jun??
Me: Hah???Siapaaa??
Cr: Bu Jun nya ada nggak??
Me: Hmm..Ini dari siapa yahh??
Cr: Oh ini langgananya yang biasa beli sayur sama Bu Jun
Me: WHATTTT???!!!!Sejak kapan mamaku jualan sayurrr??? -.-""
Me: Oh maaf bu salah sambung kayaknya. Mau telpon nomer berapa ya buu??
Cr: oh salah sambung yahh??Maaf kalo gituhhh..

*tut..tut..tut.......*

Sialan nih orangggg..!!

They dissapoint me again

2008-11-14T00:36:00.000-08:00

As the title says, they dissapoint me again just now.
They said last night they will confirm whether we are going to sofia.
I've been waiting but nothing came in.

In the end, they called me 5 minutes ago.
Asking me whether I want to join them or not.
BUT, they dont want to wait for me to go out and go to city.
While in fact it takes time for me to go to city because I live quite far away from city.
They said because they are already hungry and dont want to wait for me.
If they tell me something last night they dont have to wait for me now rite???

So, Is that what we call friend??

Kekecewaan

2008-10-31T18:27:00.000-07:00

Lagi kecewa banget sama temen2 nih.
Sebagai temen dengan percaya diri gw berani bilang gw orang yang mau bela2in temen.
Tapi kenapa ga ada yang bisa kayak gitu in return??
Aku selalu mikirin kalo misalnya aku gini nanti si itu gitu..kalo misal aku gitu nanti si itu gimana.
Tapi kenapa ga pernah ada yang mikir kayak gitu buat aku??

2 kekecewaan dalam 10 menit.
Cerita pertama, hari ini, lets call them "Grup Anu", ngerayain ultah temen.
Biasanya gw selalu pergi sama mereka.
Trus tadi telp aku tanya "trus ke greja gimana?"
One of them bilang, "oh ke greja hari ini jadi besok ga usah keluar rumah gt lah."
Have they ever thought of me??!!

Cerita kedua, lets call them "Nerdies", ngajakin belajar di Caulfield.
Trus tadi gw tanya "udah makan belom gw belom makan nih"
Dia jawab, "oh gw makan di Clayton"
Gw jawab lagi, "makan di caulfield aja yuk, gw belum makan juga nih"
Jawab dia, "ga lah gw makan di clayton aja, lu ke sini aja van ikut kita makan di clayton"
Yah, kalo gw ke clayton lagi muter2 donk..lebih lama lagi donk waktu yang gw butuhin buat muter2 sebelum bisa belajar..

Gw setres, i feel lonely.
It doesnt feel good when u r repared to give up everything for your friend, yet they act like they dont want you at all.
It feels like nobody wants me.
Atau aku yang harus berubah untuk jadi manusia yang lebih ga care lagi??
Am I being too care??Do I value them too much??
Aku cuma pengen punya temen yang siap berkorban buat gw.
Am I asking too much???

Renungan sedih di hari Minggu kelabu

2008-10-26T05:56:00.000-07:00

Inilah cerminan hidup 3 orang wanita berpandangan hidup positif yang tetep berpandangan positif pada saat harus belajar di hari Minggu buat exam di beberapa hari yang akan datang..=p

Pagi2 jam 12 kurang 1 menit (kata bu guru jam 12 siang jadi kalo masih kurang 1 menit masih pagi kan??!!) 3 orang wanita cantik yang sudah buang hajat di pagi hari berkumpul di Gloria Jean's Chadstone untuk belajar *yang satu sampe sekarang belum bisa uik sih*
Anyway ngobrol2, curhat lah salah satu dari mereka. Beginilah cerita singkatnya...

Si Miss One ini cerita kalau dia tuh merasa kecewa dengan sesuatu yang terjadi pada hidupnya.
Dia merasa dikecewakan oleh sistem dan oleh Tuhan.
Tapi Miss Two bilang, jangan pernah merasa kecewa sama apa yang sudah dikasih Tuhan buat kamu. Life is a butterfly effect. Kalau kamu memaksa untuk mendapatkan sesuatu belum tentu hidup selanjutnya akan jadi indah dan enak.
On the other hand, kalau kita ngikut rencana Tuhan kita bisa yakin kalau Tuhan ga mungkin kasih kita rencana yang buruk. Apa pun itu memang sudah kehendak Tuhan dan ga mungkin rencana kecelakaan.

Direnungkan lagi, omongan Miss Two emang bener.
Kecewa itu normal tapi jangan pernah kecewa berkelanjutan.
Miss Three bilang, mungkin Tuhan punya rencana lain yang lebih baik dari yang menurut-kita-baik.

Ya belajar dari cerita diatas, aku sekarang mulai belajar untuk lebih berserah diri kepada Tuhan. Mungkin rasa kecewa dan bertanya2 "koq gini Tuhan??" itu akan selalu ada.
Tapi setiap masalah itu dua sisi mata uang. Mungkin satu sisi memang lebih bagus dari sisi yang lain. Tapi di balik keburukan itu akan selalu ada kebaikan. Jadi ya dicari lah sisi baiknya itu. Memang susah. Kalau sudah jatuh itu memang susah karena pasti ada "ketimpa tangga" nya itu pasti. Tapi kenapa ga kita nikmati saja jatuh dan ketimpa tangga itu. Satu sisi baik yang pasti ada: "Lebih dekat dengan Tuhan" karena emang habitnya manusia untuk cari Tuhan di saat ada masalah. Tapi untuk itulah masalah itu ada. Karena kalo hidup ini smooth2 aja dan ga ada masalah ga akan ada Tuhan karena emang ga perlu karena toh ga ada orang cari juga anyway.
Sisi baik selain Tuhan pasti ada, mungkin bagi beberapa orang kalau dibilang sisi baiknya itu Tuhan bagi mereka itu ga realistis ya boleh2 aja berpendapat begitu. Tapi yakinlah bahwa sisi baik itu PASTI ada.

Yahh...Anyway, sepertinya Miss One sudah bisa terima keadaan sih.
Jadi marilah kita balik belajar lagi...
Ciaoo..

P.S: Seseorang belum bisa boker. Kasian..
P.P.S: Doakan besok dia boker yah saudara2..=p

tears of happiness

2008-09-22T07:04:00.000-07:00

Hari ini lagi ga mood menjayus lagi melankolis. jadi maav kalo blognya agak2 melankolis juga=p

Anyway, hari ultah lewat dengan berkesan, trus juga memperingati 2 taun berpisahnya saya dan rosa...=p
babes, kita sudah 2 taun ga ketemu..huhu..kangennnnnnn
Malemnya, buka kartu ucapan dari 2 sahabat (tersensor: yang hilang)=p
I am touched...
diulangi lagiiiiiiiiii........

I AM TOUCHED..!!!

*mulai lebay*

ternyata tingkah mereka yang selama ini bikin aku sakit hati tuh mungkin yahhh cuma khilaf kali yahh..

yang jelas mereka masih sayang aku, mereka masih perhatian sama aku, mereka masih kasih aku kartu spesial dari mereka berdua. one each..

I am not a perfect person, kalo selama ini gw ada salah juga maafkan saya..

Kalo boleh membela diri *as edin said* saya juga masih belajar mengendalikan emosi dan perasaan trauma being left out sama orang paling deket..=)

I am so so so sorry=)

Malam ini lebih2 lagi.

Aku dapet kado dari Listiiiii...

unbelieveable. she is the last person i expect to give me a present.

Dapet kalung lagi. dan bagus bangetttttt...>.<

bener2 terharu lah. ultah kali ini bener2 berkesan. mungkin memang bukan yang paling berkesan tapi tetep memories of this birthday will be there on each of my every birthday.

Listi, if one day u read this post, I just want to thank u for the gift.

For me it's not just a gift. It is a prove for me that u are still my friend.

That u havent forgotten whatever we have done.

That u havent forgotten the craziness we used to do *kungfu fighting..=)*

I hope one day we can be as close, as crazy.

I miss those craziness..=)

Kado ultah ter"indah"

2008-09-15T04:09:00.001-07:00

Hai teman2 yang sedang sedih karena tes AFA nya susahhhh...
Yang merasa gampang seperti cowoknya vicky ya ga haii..!!!haha Im sorry lah ya vicc..sekali2 gangguin u gpp lah yahh..=p

Anyway, let me greet my lil bro happy birddayyy..
Semoga di ultah yang ke 17 ini kamu menemukan dirimu yang sesungguhnya dan menemukan cita2mu yang benar..hahahahaha xDD
Agak menjijikan!!

Yeah, moving on..
Besok saya ultah sodara sodara..
Yang ke 20....
Masya olohhhhhh..kepala 2 woiiii..
Mumpung belum 20 lah..Let me say this

HEY KALIAN YANG SUDAH 20

DASAR TANTE2 OM2

TUA SEMUA IH..

*hahaha..especially si emak ayam sama tante zendi. Tua kalian..!!T.U.A*

Nah, sekarang saya mau bahas kado2 ter"indah" sepanjang hidupku..

The first one, when I was twelve.......

Seharian badan sakit, punggung udah ga kalah sama orang sakit boyok.

Masya ampun sakitnya bukan maen. Bahkan ulu hati pun sakit..

Masih harus lomba musik lagi. Mana konsen coba.

Ternyataaaaaa..selidik punya selidik saya terserang penyakit CACAR AIRRR..

chicken pox sodara2.

Hasilnya, saya ga masuk kelas 2 minggu kalo ga sebulan. Dan begitu masuk kelas, ga lama kemudian separuh kelas kena cacar air semua...LOL

Dan sampe hari ini, itu topik yang selalu di brought up kalo kita lagi reunian SD. Semua orang inget...OHMAIGATTT..MANNNNNN..yang gituan diinget..-.-""

Some more, memasuki minggu ke 2 saya mendapatkan tanda2 kalo cewe mulai dewasa dapet apa hayooooo?????ya jawab sendiri lah ya pokoknya aku dapet itu. bayanginnnnnnnn

Oh iya, not to forget to mention losing someone you really admire. By really I mean it. I really really really admire him. Admire di sini bukan as in love but as in a brother. He is my brother, the figure of y life. The worst birthday present in advance ever.

I have to face the death of the people I love the most when I was only twelve.

Aku berpikiran untuk meneruskan cita2 dia and here I am stuck di acc finance..LOL=p

6 tahun kemudiann.......

tanggal 16 saya ultah, tanggal 18 sahabat terbaik harus pergi ke US..haizzz.

2 tahun kemudian.........

*udah mulai males semakin lama ceritanya semakin pendek*

tes AFA ga bisa, business finance dapet jelek.

BAGUSSSSSS...Mau jadi apa hidupmu ini nak2...=p

Anyway, sekarang waktunya kita serius.

Apa sih menurut kamu arti ultah itu?

a. Cake

b. Kado

c. Makan2

d. Pesta

e. None of the above

I choose E. none of the above. Menurutku ultah itu waktunya kita sadar diri.

Itu sekali dalam setaun kita diingatkan "apa sih yang sudah kamu perbuat selama setaun kemarin?apa yang sudah kamu hasilkan setaun kemarin?"

Sebetulnya ultah kali ini paling sedih lah buatku. Now Im 20. I cant say Im sumthing-teen anymore. Im not a teenager anymore.

Im now twenty.

A point where I think inilah saatnya aku mengambil segala tanggung jawab yang sudah seharusnya aku ambil.

It is as if selama ini orang tua kita tuh menyimpan semua tanggung jawab itu untuk diberikan ke kita suatu hari nanti. Bagi aku inilah hari itu. The day when Im turning twenty.

Aku udah ga bisa maen2 lagi, udah ga boleh main2 lagi sama hidupku sendiri dan sama apa yang aku lakukan di hidup ini. Starting from now I have to take everything seriously.

This is the age where people will start to look at you as an adult. Umur dimana orang mulai menilai kita. Kalau kita jadi orang bener dan berhasil berarti orang tua kita bener dan sudah mendidik anaknya jadi "orang" unless mereka pasti bilang "ohhhhh ternyata si tuan itu dan nyonya ini tuh kayak gt mangkanya anaknya jadi kayak gt"

Things get worse when you are the eldest in the family. Dimana2 kalau anak paling tua berhasil no matter what happen ke adik2nya orang paling engga bilangnya gini "untuk anaknya tuan itu sama nyonya ini ada yang jadi orang 1. coba kalo yang paling tua ini kayak adik2nya ga karuan gt. kasian deh si itu dan ini"

Tapi coba kalau yang paling tua rusak trus adik2nya berhasil orang pasti tetep bilang "yah mama papanya kayak gt sih pantes aja anaknya gt. untung aja adik2nya ga ada yang niru dia"

Yah..gt lah beban beratnya jadi anak paling tua apalagi yang turning twenty.

Am I thinking too much about this??

Yah anyway,

Saya mulai ketagihan blogging. setiap hari kalo ga blogging serasa ada yang kurang..

Parahhhhh..!!!!

anyway lagi, saya punya teman yang cukup dodol untuk bilang "happy bday in advance yah van..mendingan bilang sekarang daripada ntar gw lupa trus dimarahin"

NAHHH..itu lah contoh manusia yang sudah 20 tahun dan dodoll..hahaha

dasar tua lu ndra.. udah kepala 2 tua lu ndra tuaaaaaaaaa...hahahahahaha xDD

Saya mau memuas2kan diri ngatain orang 20 tahun an tua hari ini..LOL

Ya sudah lah.

C u besok.

Liat apa yang bisa saya taruh di blog besok.

Tomorrow should be an intersting day..=p

kabar baik dan kabar buruk

2008-09-13T17:59:00.000-07:00

Hai manusia2 yang lagi mellow di luar sana...
Apa kabarnyaaa???
Yang lagi ga suntuk ga Hai..!!!

Anyway, mulai dengan kabar baik dulu aja lah yah..
Telah ditemukan dompet teman saya yang hilangg..*tralalalalalalalalaaa..jreng jrenggg..*

*Anak Lebay 2008*

What an amazing story, guys. Dompetnya jatuh di Caulfield Stn waktu dia lari. Trus temenku ini TIDAK SADARR..bayangkan sodara2 dia tidak sadar..Pas sadar pintu kereta udah mulai nutup jadi ya sudah..dia turun di Carnegie trus balik lagi ke Caulfield.
Sampe sana ternyata dompetnya udah ga adaa...*yahhhhh..*
Pas telpon dia udah kayak sedih gituu.. *although when i met him he was all laughing about God knows what with another friend..ckck*
Trus aku juga udah nanya counternya sapa tau ada yang hand in itu dompet yang malang. Hasilnya ga adaaa..Aku sampe ikut sedih lah waktu itu. Bayangin ilang dompet.

Tapi nggak tau kenapa ada kata hati ku yang bilang bahwa dompet itu PASTI balik PASTI ada yang nemuin. Yah anyway, cuma bisa doa lah.

Beberapa hari kemudiannn...

Setting: Lampu merah deket Law Building Monash University Clayton Campus..

Jeffrey: *Pura2 ga liat Vania-super-duper-imut*
Vania-super-duper-imut (Vani SDI): *Pura2 ga liat Jeffrey-super-duer-dodol*

Vani SDI dan Jeff SDD: Ehhh...kamu tohhh..*Basa basi super basi*

Vani SDI: Mau ngapain Jef?

Jeff SDD: Mau mid semt nih.. Btw, *Jreng Jrengggg..sambil ngeluarin Si-Dompet-Malang*

Vani SDI: LOHHHH...!!!KETEMU JEFFF???

Jeff SDD: IYAA..adaa..ntar ah Sabtu PD gw mau kesaksiannn..

Vani SDI: Sneak peek donk jeffff....

Jeff SDD: Pokoknya ada yang nelpon aja..Udah yah mau test.. *Trus semena2 ngeloyor pergi*

Anyway, selidik punya selidikk...ternyataaaa di dalem dompet temen saia yang dodol ini ada receipt buat dia punya laundry kalo aku ga salah inget..

Masya olohhhh!!ternyata di slip laundry itu ada nomer telp jeffreyy..

Betapa beruntungnya kunyuk 1 itu..hahahaha xDD

Anywayyyyy....

Kabar buruknya adalahhh..

Tambah lama tambah muak sama temen2 itu. Capek lah sudah saya.

Mana saya dituduh sombong lagi sama salah mereka bilang aja Si Ini.

Katanya aku sombong soalnya sekarang sudah ga pernah di rumah, kalo pergi ga pernah ikut.

Reaksi pertama:

WHATTT???!!!!

SOMBONGG??!!!!

ga salah nihhhh?????aku yang sombong ga mau ikut mereka pergi atau mereka yang sombong GA PERNAH NGAJAK PERGI.

Apa gunanya punya HP kalo ga pernah dipake buat telpon.

Aku ga pernah dirumah aku punya HP koq. Kalo emang niat ngajak pergi ya pasti telpon.

Bener gaaa????

Jadiiii.....kutulis lagi yang gede dan dibaca baik2..

AKU YANG SOMBONG

ATAUUU..

MEREKA YANG GA PERNAH NGAJAK PERGI??

yah semoga mereka tau sendiri jawabannya.

Ga tau diri banget sih pake ngata2in aku yang sombong.

Reaksi kedua:

Sudahlah, mungkin kita memang ga cocok jadi temen.

Anyway people change. Si Itu dulunya orangnya friendly.

Baru kenalan dulu udah minta fs, minta msn.

Sekarangg???

dikenalin orang baru aja orangnya ga diajak ngomong.

Dicuekin.

Yang sudahlah sebagai temen yang baik, selama Si Ini dan Si Itu hepi saya juga hepi lah.

Sakit hati pasti ada cuma aku sudah ga mau mikirin. Capek mikirin kalo yang dipikirin ga kepingin dipikirin.

Anyway, sekian dulu untuk hari ini.

Saya mau belajar AFA.

Senin, 15th of Sept 2008. Second doomsday. 2nd mid semt test buat AFA..mati dehhhh..

Moral of the story:

KARMA ITU ADAAAA.....

p.s: Setelah curhat gini koq saya jadi hilang bad mood nya yah??Ngeblog terbukti berguna berarti..hahahaha xDD

welcome to my new home..=)

2008-09-12T15:22:00.000-07:00

Ini rumah baru loh sodara2.

Rumah yang di fs sudah mau saia tinggalkan. Soalnya ngepost di fs banyak errornya daripada enggaknya..hihih

Niway, kalo rumah baru kan biasa suka ada *istilah jawanya* slametan, jadi ya mari sekarang kita slametan.

Audience: Caranya???!!!

Sabar atuhh..caranyaa..

mari kita bikin post yang penuh arti tentang rumah baru.

Setuju??

Audience: Setujuuuuu..!!!

Niway, author tidak kepikiran apa2 tentang rumah baru nih..haha

Yang anggaplah aku lagi bikin speech jadi agak2 panjang dan membosankan seperti speech2 kepala sekolah di upacara 17 Agustus..

A new home, a new life.

Agree, yes???

Audience: YESSS..!!

Rumah yang lama penuh kenangan2 masa lalu yang kelam.

Baru aja post2 terakhir2 yang masih normal

Post yang lama2 selalu aja isinya sedih, sedih, sedih.

Kadang sampe ngepost nya pun sambil nangisss..

Audience: HUUUUU...Lebayyyyyy..!!!

Hehe..ya ga sampe gitu juga sih kalo gitu ya susah kan nulisnya rabun2..

Audience agak mulai marah karena speech sudah mulai konyol nih.

Niway, rumah baru ini sebisa mungkin hanya akan diisi dengan kenangan2 indah.

Dimana saat2 indah itu kan ga akan tiap hari terjadi, kamera juga cuma bisa capture that particular moment.

Tapi alat yang bisa membangkitkan memori sepenuhnyaa??

Audience: Jelas tulisan di bloggg..!!!

Jadi, aku mau saat tua *ciee tuaa..padahal besok selasa juga sudah tua* nanti, buka2 blog lagi, aku inget hari2 indah bersama orang2 tercinta di hidupku.

Hmm..anyway *lagi2 anyway, kayaknya lagi suka kata2 ini nih..* ini hari, saya harus nya bareng sama sumpel dan ika mau ke DFO yang deket airport.

Tapi AKU MALASSS..

dan aku harus goreng itu bloody bakso goreng buat si bloody emak ayam *upsss..* hahahaha xDD

Yah ntar kan ketemu juga sama sumpel hari selasa..ya sudah lah. Ntar malem aja diajak dinner.

Ya sudah saudara2, aku harus mulai menggoreng itu bloody bakso goreng supaya saya sempat mandi dan sempat ke Holmesglen station.

Oh ia, bagi yang belum tahu aku sekolah di Melbourne loh..

Perusuh: Huuuu...*turun, turun, turun*

Koq jadi rusuhhh???????!!!!!!

di Monash University. University yang lebih bagus daripada UNIVERSITY OF NEW SOUTH WALES aka UNSW. Ingat itu penekanan kata2 LEBIH BAGUSS..!!

Karena saya ingat jelas ada orang SINTING, GILA, MATRE, ANJING, ASU, BANGKEK, KIRIK, ngata2in kalo university in which I attend itu jelek dan sampah..

*ingatttt..yang sampah dan bau busuk itu hatimu bukan university ku..*

haizz..jadi marah2 di pagi hari deh. Itu lah kenapa saya mendoakan saudara saya itu cepat cerai saja lah sudah.

Bakal dapet menantu *secara, itu pacar saudaraku* kayak dia juga, matre, ga tau diri, ga sopan. haizz..

Niway, got to go frying that bloody baksooo..hahahaha xDD

Sekian dan terima kasih.

Perusuh: Yayyyy..Akhirnya selesai juga..

Quote of the day:

Perusuh: LAHH, masih ada lagi tah..masya olohhh..

Aduh, iya2 sek tah lahh..dikit lagi tok lhooo..

Lets not call it quote..coz i dont really like it..

Sudah lah, moral of the story aja:

Congratulationnn!!!

Telah pindah rumah

Vania Sumargo

Anak dari, Sudarto Sumargo dan Emmy Gendo

Kakak dari, Benny Sumargo

Ya itu lah moral of the story. udah capek ga ada ide lagi..haha

ciaoooo..

Salam hangat ketiak babi..

p.s: bagian yang diBOLD adalah bagian dimana saya membayangkan ada audience disekitar saya

pp.s: bagian yang dibilang perusuh adalah bagian dimana audience sudah mulai bosen dan akhirnya rusuh.

ppp.s: saya sempat shock waktu salah pencet dan ternyata post ini ilangg..*oh noooooo...arghhh*

saya sudah mulai frustasi dan kepikiran, duh udah ngetik panjang2 ilang ya udah lah ga ada blog pembukaan donkkk..

untungnya, setelah diteliti dan dicari2 lebih lanjut, masih ada draft nya..*Thank Godddd..*

pppp.s: baru sadar, sudah lama saya ga menabung di celengan Kitty Hello saya *tuh kan jadi suka ngomong kitty hello gara2 aponk dkk*

ppppp.s: looks like i really2 got to go..