Damn this world cup!!

So,
I've just made a bet with my friend for Germany vs Argentina on 3rd of July.
If Germany wins he will treat me to a lunch.
On the other hand, if Argentina wins *cross fingers..dammit!* then i will have to pay for the lunch..
Did i just made a wrong bet, soccer maniaaa??!!!:P

The one with being so un-secretive

The more I think about you, the more I am obsessed with you.
I think this has gone more than a winter fling.
This curious feeling that I have towards you is overwhelming myself.
The more I know you, the more I am amazed with you.
The more I want to know you, the further I feel you are.
The more I hang out with you, the more we have in common.
I know that this will not be easy with the stuff happening lately..
I know this wont be easy as I have got one opponent in fron of my eye who is more likely to win this competition or sorts.
If I keep this thought inside me, I will be more likely to think about it all the time and in the end it will hurt myself.
So, here I am sharing the most secretive part of me.. DAMMIT!!!!

self-doubt

Well,
people made decisions, small ones, big ones.
I have made mine. A very big one, a life-changing decision.
It was not easy to start with. It was a long and painful process before I can say 'OK, I will go back for good'
Believe me, that was not easy.
My life in Melbourne was like living in heaven. I stumbled upon problems, inevitably.
But I cleaned up the mess perfectly, or so I thought.
I messed up my high school life and now I realise I have just few real friends from back then.
All my life is going around my Melbourne friends.
And now that I have to leave here, imagine how this decision hurts me.
But I guess life is a choice. I can choose to life crying over the spilt milk or just go on and just fix every wrongs I have done. I am most likely to choose the later one.

Now that it came closer to the date when I should go home, I, rather unconciously, feel reluctant to do so. I cant make any decisions on simple and small small things.
I cant pick up any date to book ticket. If someone wants to help me PLEASE DO SO!! Any date in 3rd week of July will do...~~
I have no courage to just call the cargo company because it will indicate that I am seriously about to go home. DAMMIT!!!
Why do I become so indecisive?since when?!

Now after struggling with all those things, I start to doubt myself whether I am making the right decision to go home.
I know I haven't done enough effort to say that I can't find a job here.
But I have my parents who want me so bad to go back.
I cant turn down their request because one day, I don't want my brother to come back to Indon.
Multimedia doesn't have that much future in Indon. I don't think that by doing so I am sacrificing my own future, I still have the option to come back here to do my master degree and then find a job here if possible.
Who knows what the future brings?

I just need one more reason for me to stop doubting myself..

Life cycle

So,
I was having dinner with the girls.
We were talking, talking, and talking.
Sharing is caring ;)
Without even realising it, we suddenly were talking (Read: Complaining) about our bosses.

Suddenly, like being slapped, we fell silent.
It was an epiphany for all of us.
We suddenly realised that we have gone pass the days when we would sit down at the same restaurant and talking about uni.
We no longer complained about subjects, lecturers.
It is now time to complain about our bosses.
I hope there will be one day that we will complain about BEING bosses.

Life goes on.
While everything else seems to stay the same, our lifes keep running toward something unforseeable.
Hope life turns out good for us all ;)

Time Warp

Watching someone you love is dying, or even dead, is not easy.
Living in a memory of the past of someone you love passed away is hard.
Everytime you see something that reminds you of that person you cried.
Everytime you are reminded that you are living that person's dream you cried.

I am a person of no dream.
I am living someone else's dream...and I admit, that much is not easy.

I am trying so hard to remember how you look like.
I am trying so hard to remember the way you laugh, the way you talk to me....
but to no avail.
I only remember what a perfect role model you were.
and I am living my life as a sister to an awesome brother trying to achieve the prefection you showed me...but I am still working on it.

I am way passed your age when you passed away, but still if I could go back for just one more day..

I remember the day I graduated, I was full of joy for finally I have fulfill my dream to fulfill yours...
This is what you wanted to be.





I miss you that much..even after 10 years.