The Never Ending Promotion

So,
as I was drinking my Teh Kotak I realized one thing.
See the difference??
The new package is saying '50% free' and this has been going on for years and years. I remember I saw this the first time when I was still in high school.
The first time this promotional package came out, they were celebrating something anniversary.
Now that it's been going on for few years, they took out the anniversary part, but they still put 50% free.

Hmm..~~
Marketing fellas, what's going on here??

I Dont Have The Heart

As days goes by, 

my time to leave Melbourne comes closer.

The willingness to leave and start a life back in Indonesia comes from me alone.

But I dare say it out loud,

'I don't have the heart to leave'

Melbourne has become my second home, the house Im living in feels like home.

2 years memories of good things and bad things.

I cried over simple things now.

I cried over the sand bear that me and my friend made on Chelsea Beach.

I cried over my cell group's togetherness.

I cried over this house. I cant imagine the time I have to say, 'Bye bye house..'

I will miss Melbourne.

I will miss the people inside.

I will miss those angers over late trains. 

I will miss those times running for buses. 

Maybe I will also miss the strong windy days.

Maybe I will miss having the electric blanket under my fitted sheet during winter.

Maybe I will miss the taste of Nutella. 

Everything wont be same ever again.

But one thing I know, God will guide me.

I put my everything on God. 

I dont know what to do, but God knows, so I'll let HIM lead me.

That's the only assurance I have over my uncertain life.

One Summer Fling

So, 

I watched a lot of movies of dramas which love story started with one summer fling.

Hey, my summer has turned into autumn, and soon into winter..

When will this story be my winter sonata???

HAHAHAHA.. *cheezyyy.... -.-*

Huhuyy~~

Cant be helped, can I?? :P

HAIIZZ..~~

This one has NO CURE loorr.. 

What winter sonata, what summer fling..aiyoohh crazy me!! :(

What I Will Miss

I was on 630 bus to Monash Uni. When it stopped at Huntingdale Station a guy *hottie alert!!:P* hop on the bus and I saw he was walking limply.

He wore a thong on his right leg and as for the left, he carried the thong.

I saw his left leg was wounded on the part where it was in contact with the thongs, that was why he carried the thong by hand.

I saw the tissue he used to absorb his blood looked dodgy already.

So, I asked if he needed some more tissue. Doing good deed while flirting *one kill two birds. LOL:D*

Then he gave me back the rest of my tissue, said thank you, and smiled at me *wwwaaaaa~~~..*

Other time, I fell because I stepped on something. This happened at QV.

One guy came up and asked whether I was ok and then he picked up the thing that caused me to fall and threw it away.

*SIGHHH...*

It got me thinking, now that Im leaving this country, I wont be able to experience those kind of feeling ever again.

In Indonesia, if you do that to some strangers, let alone thanking you, not giving you skeptic look is counted good enough.

I will miss at least this aspect of Australia where people are friends with people.

Racism is something that we cant avoid when living in a multicultural country. 

Putting away the racism, I will miss the warm-hearted Aussies...

Who's Afraid of The Big Bad Wolf

So, 

All of a sudden a tune was playing in my memory.

I was thinking for some times what and why is this song keep playing inside my head.

Suddenly I remember!! It is a disney song that won me my very first trophy ever.

I was much younger. I still remember how proud I am to bring that trophy home although that was only for the 3rd winner.

Aaahhh..~~ reminiscing childhood always makes me happy..;)

la vie nouvelle

So, 

planning to go back for good doesnt seem as frightening as before.

Besties are going with me to Jakarta. To be exact we have plan to go to Jakarta.

Hopefully everything will be realised. 

Im very excited to go back for good. 

A bit hard to leave my friends here, but for a better future I have to go back and I can barely wait.

July seems so long with all this excitement. 

I might not be here when my best friend come and visit Melbourne for a week. 

I might not be here to hang out with him. 

One thing Im sure AKU BISA DICULIK LAGI SETIAP SAAT DI INDOOO.....;P

Im damn excited...

If this few days I cant sleep thinking of my job hunting, now I cant sleep thinking how much fun I will have back in Indo..:)

The Day I Made My Big Decision

So,
Ive made the decision.
The biggest decision in my life so far.
I'll be going back for good.
This seems to be the answer to all my prayers.

I prayed Novena when I appealed for my 6.5 speaking result.
I prayed when I sit the test last February so that if God's plan were for me to stay in Melbourne so be it 7 for speaking and writing. They were not.
I prayed when I was interviewed for CKM in fact as you know, I got the news that I wasnt accepted.
I prayed for the TR process to be smooth when in fact until now I have no news from DIMIA.
Now, my family also has some issues.

Maybe it was not that my prayers werent answered.
Maybe they were answered but in a way that I dont expect.
Maybe while I was waiting for a YES instead God gave me a NO.

After all the thinking and inquiring were done, I chose to leave Melbourne.
Maybe not for ever since I might be back for a postgraduate degree in 3-4 years maybe less.
Who knows....
All I know is that after I have the gut to tell people that I've decided to go back for good I feel like a ton of burden has just been lifted from my shoulders.
Maybe this is not all.
Maybe there will be more than just a decision to leave Melbourne.
Maybe far more than that, maybe it will cost me something else that I have been waiting for so long.
Maybe it will cost me dearly.
But, as for now, the decision is made.
As for when, only God knows..;)

My Easter

So,
I was departing on 630 bus towards Monash University last Monday.
It was as usual, greeting the driver, validate ticket and sitting down.
But suddenly when one passenger went off, the driver came to me asking, "have I greeted you Happy Easter?"
I said I thought so.
Then he handed me $2 coin and said "This is for you because this year I forgot to buy easter chocolate"
Wowww..he instantly made my day...;)
It's not because it's $2, not that it can buy me something these days.
Not because it came from a bus driver, not that I think I will meet him again now that I think Im about to go back for good.
But because it's from someone's heart.
Suddenly my heart filled with warmth. It felt great..;)

But now, this morning, after yesterday's fun to Phillip Island.
I received a text message from a friend saying "Van, let us find another work. Our friend L has just accepted to that job"
Fyi, the three of us was interviewed for the same job.
What makes me angry is not the fact that my friend got the job.
For that Im sure Lord has His own plan for me.
Only the company didnt give equal opportunity for us to compete.

1st friend was interviewed in a very casual manner. No fuss, no muss.

2nd was me. The interviewer asked me what's the different between financial accounting and management accounting. I answered management accounting mainly managing how the company could run more efficiently while financial accounting dealing with what has happened.
She said my answer was wrong and that I didnt understand a single thing about financial accounting and management accounting.
She said the answer should be that financial accounting is dealing with the past of the company and management accounting dealing with the future of the company.
hhmm....fine.whatever.

3rd friend was the one who got accepted.
And only this morning that I found out that she didnt even interviewed.
She was called to come to the office, and talked to the interviewer while standing (which proves how casual it was) and on the spot she was asked for a trial.
And she got accepted.

So what actually Lord's plan is??
For me to go back for good?
or whatt?????!!

I feel like crying now because my future seems to be slipping away from my hand.
I dont know what to do and where to go.
I dont know who I am anymore.
And I feel plainly STUPID!!

One Final Call

So,
Few days ago my mom called me and asked me what I wanted to do with my life?
My life??? I f*cking dont know!!
Everything seems so uncertain these days after graduation.
I complained a lot during uni life.
Thought I wont complain any longer after that, but here I am and complaining even worse.
More over, now Im not the one who is complaining.
My mom seems to complain a lot about me.
Saying Im so slow, people alwas get everything first before me.

So, there was one fine day that my mom called me and said one of my friend IC was offered a job at a company but unfortunately, his visa does not allow him to work in Australia.
So, what happened?
He didnt get the job.
You know what my mom suggested me to do?
Come to him and ask him which company that was.
It got me thinking, so my mom wanted me to come to my friend saying, "dude, since you didnt get the job let me have it"
Isnt it rude???!!
What's in her head??!!

Other days she would call me and ask me how's my job hunting and scolded me for not getting a job quickly.
She kept asking me has my housemate who graduate at the same time with me got a job?
I told her the truth that she hasnt.
I was wondering....When I was a kid I used to compare my mom to my friend's and she told me to just swallow it down and if Im not satisfied with her I can be other people's daughter.
So, what happened if I turn the situation around? What if I told her to just be other people's (who's got a job) mom.
Anyway, after telling her the truth that my housemate hasnt got a job herself, I thought she would stop scolding me and just realised that it is now VERY VERY VERY VERY hard to find a job in this f*cking country.
(sorry about those rather inappropriate words. Im getting tired with this job hunting phase of my life that seems so hard)
In fact, she kept scolding me saying why others have got a job before I do.
Just who the hell do you mean with 'others', mom??
I told you so many times that none of my friends has got a job..
Oh my dear God!!!

The last time she called me, she asked me to set a date for myself that if at which I havent got a job I have to go back for good.
I can either move to another country *and she literally said didnt care which country. It might as well be South Africa taming a wild cheetah* or go back to Indonesia.
She asked roughly when this date will be.
I said in a year because that's how I see my friend. Even the smartest in school who graduated on 2008 found a job just late last year.
She screamed in horror saying that one year was simply UNACCEPTABLE giving me the reason that company who would hire me would wonder why I havent got a job within one year.
The reason sounded pretty acceptable to me.
So, I fought no further.

Last Wednesday I had two interviews. In the morning was for the full time, in the evening was for the part time.
I texted her in the morning before I went to the interview.
She texted me back wishing me good luck and said that she would keep praying for me.
That was fine.
Until in the evening, after my 2nd interview, I texted her telling her that I got accepted into the part time job for sure and that it would start in May.
She replied "OK, then find another job to do in April"
She didnt even congratulate me.
FINE!!!
Just f*ck off!!
I wont call you again even if you ask me to so that you wont have the chance to ruin my day, mom!!!
Not until I have good news for you which means I've got myself a full time job.

I thought Ive gone past those puberty days when hormones ruled me and caused me to argue with my mom a lot.
This job hunting phase is starting to get to my nerve.
And until now Im still thinking what if until August (the time that my mom set for me without even asking me) I havent got myself a job and my mom wants me back to Indonesia?
What am I gonna do there???
I hate my life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I know today is Easter, and I supposed to forgive my mom.
I love God. I love my family.
I just really hate my life and myself!!!