and so, and so, and so, and so...
am home.
I mean Indo. home. home sweet home. bed sweet bed;p
No more getting lost at streets that I dont know..haha~~
Driving for a week is more than enough. I dont want to drive at least for some good time;p
I'll let someone else drive me..LMAO.
but Im here only for a month.
hopefully when I go back to Melbourne things will be better.
Anyway, time to sleep after a day-long journey from MEL-DPS, and DPS-SUB.
what a tiring journey with Garuda Indonesia, never not late..!!!
Happy bday also to my friend Listi..;)
Hope next year will be a better year.
Hope the best for you in your study.
anyway,
*cheers* for my graduation;)
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Saturday, December 19, 2009
what a headache
So, my parents and my brother are here in Melbourne for my graduation.
Having them here is a bit of a headache and fun though.
My mom is the main source of my headache.
when Im driving, she keep telling me to stop at moments or junctions that I shouldnt.
when she's looking at things, she always converts everything to IDR so that all things become expensive and it is now a headache to buy things because cheap things (in AUD) has now become v v v expensive things according to IDR. Then, she starts to get angry at me, my dad, and my bro for buying things that for me is v cheap.
It is not that I dont like them being here.
I love it when they're here. I honestly am.
but still..
big headache..
Having them here is a bit of a headache and fun though.
My mom is the main source of my headache.
when Im driving, she keep telling me to stop at moments or junctions that I shouldnt.
when she's looking at things, she always converts everything to IDR so that all things become expensive and it is now a headache to buy things because cheap things (in AUD) has now become v v v expensive things according to IDR. Then, she starts to get angry at me, my dad, and my bro for buying things that for me is v cheap.
It is not that I dont like them being here.
I love it when they're here. I honestly am.
but still..
big headache..
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
My graduation day
Today is my graduation dayyy..
lalala~~
say bye to papers and essays..
say hi to a new world;p
lalala~~
say bye to papers and essays..
say hi to a new world;p
Monday, December 14, 2009
So,
tomorrow my parents will come to attend my graduation.
I bet this is the only time first born-ers feel more loved than their siblings;p
As I graduated already, I wanted to change my bedroom ambience.
So I bought a new desk from IKEA *yess!!IKEA..!!* and just finished assembled it.
then vacuumed the whole house and moped it as well just because tomorrow my parents are coming..hahahaha~~
And now I keep sneezing!!I guess because of the dust.
Anyway, nothing special happened this week, so, nothing to update.
Neither have I been feeling melancholic lately, so really, nothing to update..haha;p
My parents and brother are coming tomorrow.
My graduation will be this Thursday.
I feel blessed..;)
tomorrow my parents will come to attend my graduation.
I bet this is the only time first born-ers feel more loved than their siblings;p
As I graduated already, I wanted to change my bedroom ambience.
So I bought a new desk from IKEA *yess!!IKEA..!!* and just finished assembled it.
then vacuumed the whole house and moped it as well just because tomorrow my parents are coming..hahahaha~~
And now I keep sneezing!!I guess because of the dust.
Anyway, nothing special happened this week, so, nothing to update.
Neither have I been feeling melancholic lately, so really, nothing to update..haha;p
My parents and brother are coming tomorrow.
My graduation will be this Thursday.
I feel blessed..;)
Saturday, December 5, 2009
Sunday morning
Sunday morning rain is falling yeah yeaaahhh..
except that it isnt in Melbourne.
I have friends, and I mean close friends, who likes to cancel everything, from hanging out, watching movie to a day trip, in the last minute. I mean very very last minute. Trip on 10am they cancel on 930am. WTH!!
I wonder, do they even feel the slightest feel of guilt??do they?? DO THEY??!!
if they say they do, i doubt it.
If I say, we cancel the trip just because you said you are not going, how would they feel I wonder.
Will they feel happy??happy that we cancel the trip so they dont miss out on something??
People oh people, why art thou so indecisive??
Nonetheless, the good news is my family's visa to Australia have been granted.
So, they will attend my grad for sure.
So now I have to arrange the schedule for them because apparently we have way too many family friends here in Melbourne that we have to visit each one of them.
*Sighh*
Anyway, enjoy your Sunday everyone.
except that it isnt in Melbourne.
I have friends, and I mean close friends, who likes to cancel everything, from hanging out, watching movie to a day trip, in the last minute. I mean very very last minute. Trip on 10am they cancel on 930am. WTH!!
I wonder, do they even feel the slightest feel of guilt??do they?? DO THEY??!!
if they say they do, i doubt it.
If I say, we cancel the trip just because you said you are not going, how would they feel I wonder.
Will they feel happy??happy that we cancel the trip so they dont miss out on something??
People oh people, why art thou so indecisive??
Nonetheless, the good news is my family's visa to Australia have been granted.
So, they will attend my grad for sure.
So now I have to arrange the schedule for them because apparently we have way too many family friends here in Melbourne that we have to visit each one of them.
*Sighh*
Anyway, enjoy your Sunday everyone.
Thursday, December 3, 2009
I graduated, thank you
Have just got my result today.
Good new, I passed everything which makes me an official B.Com.
Thank God for this wonderful outcome after every unfortunate things that have happened lately.
3 years have gone.
That long was my journey to get an additional bit behind my name.
I've been through ups and downs.
So many tears I have cried for this.
12 seasons in Melbourne.
And now, let me present.......
Maria Teresa Vania Sumargo, B.Com.
However, apparently there are 2 of my friends who didnt pass.
I havent called them. I only know this info from a *quite* reliable source.
A birdie told me;p
Maybe I will call them by tomorrow morning. See how everything goes.
Maybe they can apply for "Near Pass"
That's Monash Uni giving us a we-wont-rip-more-of-your-money-because-this-is-your-last-subject chance.
what is interesting is that, I was telling another friend about this.
I explained to her that Monash has this we-wont-rip-more-of-your-money-because-this-is-your-last-subject chance called Near Pass.
I explained that student who got 45-49 can apply for it *of course because 50 is a pass*
She said, "No!!it's only for 48 and 49 student because Miss X should had graduated together with me on 2007 only that she got 47, applied for NP and got rejected. So, Miss X graduated on the next batch"
I was thinking wow wow wowww...I am living in a society where you carry bad and shameful things to your grave. It stick to you like flies/rat glue.
eeewwwwww........~~
haha -.-"
Im not saying that this friend of mine is a bad girl.
I can totally understand her, because that's just the way this society is working.
What a cruel society I am living in.
haizzzz........~~
Anyway, let me present here once again.....
Maria Teresa Vania Sumargo, B.Com
First born of Mr and Mrs Sudarto Sumargo
Excuse mua????doesnt that look like the printing on wedding invitation??
Holy crap!!;p
SO WRONGGGGG!!!!
det dotttttttttttttttttt!!!~~
Ciaoo..
Good new, I passed everything which makes me an official B.Com.
Thank God for this wonderful outcome after every unfortunate things that have happened lately.
3 years have gone.
That long was my journey to get an additional bit behind my name.
I've been through ups and downs.
So many tears I have cried for this.
12 seasons in Melbourne.
And now, let me present.......
Maria Teresa Vania Sumargo, B.Com.
However, apparently there are 2 of my friends who didnt pass.
I havent called them. I only know this info from a *quite* reliable source.
A birdie told me;p
Maybe I will call them by tomorrow morning. See how everything goes.
Maybe they can apply for "Near Pass"
That's Monash Uni giving us a we-wont-rip-more-of-your-money-because-this-is-your-last-subject chance.
what is interesting is that, I was telling another friend about this.
I explained to her that Monash has this we-wont-rip-more-of-your-money-because-this-is-your-last-subject chance called Near Pass.
I explained that student who got 45-49 can apply for it *of course because 50 is a pass*
She said, "No!!it's only for 48 and 49 student because Miss X should had graduated together with me on 2007 only that she got 47, applied for NP and got rejected. So, Miss X graduated on the next batch"
I was thinking wow wow wowww...I am living in a society where you carry bad and shameful things to your grave. It stick to you like flies/rat glue.
eeewwwwww........~~
haha -.-"
Im not saying that this friend of mine is a bad girl.
I can totally understand her, because that's just the way this society is working.
What a cruel society I am living in.
haizzzz........~~
Anyway, let me present here once again.....
Maria Teresa Vania Sumargo, B.Com
First born of Mr and Mrs Sudarto Sumargo
Excuse mua????doesnt that look like the printing on wedding invitation??
Holy crap!!;p
SO WRONGGGGG!!!!
det dotttttttttttttttttt!!!~~
Ciaoo..
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
The one with not being a doctor
Why do I not want to be a doctor??
When I was in high school, I attended science class.
I am *am, not was* v v interested in science especially in human biology besides chemistry.
But why did I not choose to be a doctor instead??
Other things being equal, I prefer cooking than baking.
Now, what's the connection??
You'll see;p
Being a doctor is like baking cakes.
Once you put the dough in the oven that's it.
Whatever you did wrong, you cannot rectify.
Same with being a doctor.
Once you give wrong medication, it is hard to rectify.
If it was only an aspirin prescription it's OK. *im sure aspirin doesnt need prescription;p*
What if the wrong medication only make the real illness worse.
Take one case.
A lady in her mid 60s keep coughing, and heavy breath.
Her children brought her to a pulmonologist. He is titled professor in pulmonologist. *how cool does that sound?*
The doctor said that was TB.
When I was in high school, I attended science class.
I am *am, not was* v v interested in science especially in human biology besides chemistry.
But why did I not choose to be a doctor instead??
Other things being equal, I prefer cooking than baking.
Now, what's the connection??
You'll see;p
Being a doctor is like baking cakes.
Once you put the dough in the oven that's it.
Whatever you did wrong, you cannot rectify.
Same with being a doctor.
Once you give wrong medication, it is hard to rectify.
If it was only an aspirin prescription it's OK. *im sure aspirin doesnt need prescription;p*
What if the wrong medication only make the real illness worse.
Take one case.
A lady in her mid 60s keep coughing, and heavy breath.
Her children brought her to a pulmonologist. He is titled professor in pulmonologist. *how cool does that sound?*
The doctor said that was TB.
Tuberculosis (TB) is a common and often deadly infectious disease caused by mycobacteria, usually Mycobacterium tuberculosis in humans.Tuberculosis usually attacks the lungs but can also affect other parts of the body.
(Source: Wikipedia)
(Source: Wikipedia)
He gave this lady a prescription for TB but instead of getting better, the coughing was getting worse.
Her children decided to bring this poor lady to Singapore.
Yes, Singapore;p
It turned out it was a lung cancer.
It was in early stage but the size of the cyst (when you have cancer you also have cyst, eh?anyone to confirm?) was abnormal.
An early stage of lung cancer would not cause that big of a cyst.
Further investigation by the Singapore doctor said that the TB prescription had caused the cyst to become that big.
Ouch!!
That was a bad case turns good.
Bad case turns worse??there is!!
Once there was an old gentleman hospitalised and given wrong medication that resulted in death.
The medication pouch was labelled 8, which means it's for patient in bed number 8, but he was in bed number 9.
Ouch ouch!!
So, why not a doctor??
Too big of a responsibility.
Playing too close to someone's life.
Scared me even before I enrolled in medicine faculty hahaha~~
And, why cooking??
When you forgot to put salt or whatever.
Simply put back the dish on the wok, put some salt, toss for a while, put back on the plate.
Ready to serve.
No fuss!!;p
Now you know why I dont want to be a doctor, why I hate baking, why I love cooking...
Her children decided to bring this poor lady to Singapore.
Yes, Singapore;p
It turned out it was a lung cancer.
It was in early stage but the size of the cyst (when you have cancer you also have cyst, eh?anyone to confirm?) was abnormal.
An early stage of lung cancer would not cause that big of a cyst.
Further investigation by the Singapore doctor said that the TB prescription had caused the cyst to become that big.
Ouch!!
That was a bad case turns good.
Bad case turns worse??there is!!
Once there was an old gentleman hospitalised and given wrong medication that resulted in death.
The medication pouch was labelled 8, which means it's for patient in bed number 8, but he was in bed number 9.
Ouch ouch!!
So, why not a doctor??
Too big of a responsibility.
Playing too close to someone's life.
Scared me even before I enrolled in medicine faculty hahaha~~
And, why cooking??
When you forgot to put salt or whatever.
Simply put back the dish on the wok, put some salt, toss for a while, put back on the plate.
Ready to serve.
No fuss!!;p
Now you know why I dont want to be a doctor, why I hate baking, why I love cooking...
Friday, November 27, 2009
Dearest Blackberry..
I just lost my dearest Blackberry phone.
I still cant believe it. It's not that I cant live without that.
I used to be that way, but now Im sure I can. v v sure.
It's just that the moment that he stole my phone still keep playing itself inside my head like some sort of short movie.
My friend told me to let it go.
Yes, I can. It's not about the phone per se, nor the money.
As a matter of fact, my dad already asked me whether I want a new one.
But I still cant think of having another BB.
Call me mellow, call me melancholic, but I am.
It's about the memories inside.
Too many photos, and blog drafts, and other unimportant details.
No important details such as my bank account or whatever.
Too many memories I've had together with the phone.
It had been my friend since last year. It has reconnect me with friends.
It had helped me tons.
I already miss it...T.T
And there are too many ifs.
If I didnt go to city
If I went back up and took my cardigan
If I didnt check fb
If I went out from my friend's place earlier
If only I werent such an fb-whore
If...
If....
If.....
If......
If.......
If.........
See??
Way too many..
And my mom doesnt seem to care at all.
When I told my dad, his response was "So what now?? just let it go. I'll buy you a new one"
When I told my mom, her response was, "Dont forget to block your pin, and report it to BB show room. are you ok?"
My mom supposedly able to do more of sweet-talking than my dad.
So I told her, "physically Im ok, but mentally Im still shocked, regretful and so on so on"
Her response to that was, "Yeah, but dont forget to block your pin"
Is that all you can say mom???
Even dad is able to do more sweet-talking.
Anw, bye my dearest Blackberry
Hope you find a good new user that take care of you carefully.
You've been a good friend of mine.
You were the only one who was there when I was so down during all this semester.
Miss you heaps.
I still cant believe it. It's not that I cant live without that.
I used to be that way, but now Im sure I can. v v sure.
It's just that the moment that he stole my phone still keep playing itself inside my head like some sort of short movie.
My friend told me to let it go.
Yes, I can. It's not about the phone per se, nor the money.
As a matter of fact, my dad already asked me whether I want a new one.
But I still cant think of having another BB.
Call me mellow, call me melancholic, but I am.
It's about the memories inside.
Too many photos, and blog drafts, and other unimportant details.
No important details such as my bank account or whatever.
Too many memories I've had together with the phone.
It had been my friend since last year. It has reconnect me with friends.
It had helped me tons.
I already miss it...T.T
And there are too many ifs.
If I didnt go to city
If I went back up and took my cardigan
If I didnt check fb
If I went out from my friend's place earlier
If only I werent such an fb-whore
If...
If....
If.....
If......
If.......
If.........
See??
Way too many..
And my mom doesnt seem to care at all.
When I told my dad, his response was "So what now?? just let it go. I'll buy you a new one"
When I told my mom, her response was, "Dont forget to block your pin, and report it to BB show room. are you ok?"
My mom supposedly able to do more of sweet-talking than my dad.
So I told her, "physically Im ok, but mentally Im still shocked, regretful and so on so on"
Her response to that was, "Yeah, but dont forget to block your pin"
Is that all you can say mom???
Even dad is able to do more sweet-talking.
Anw, bye my dearest Blackberry
Hope you find a good new user that take care of you carefully.
You've been a good friend of mine.
You were the only one who was there when I was so down during all this semester.
Miss you heaps.
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Papa dan Putri Kecilnya
Biasanya, bagi seorang anak perempuan yang sudah dewasa, yang sedang bekerja diperantauan, yang ikut suaminya merantau di luar kota atau luar negeri, yang sedang bersekolah atau kuliah jauh dari kedua orang tuanya.....
Akan sering merasa kangen sekali dengan Mamanya.
Lalu bagaimana dengan Papa?
Mungkin karena Mama lebih sering menelepon untuk menanyakan keadaanmu setiap hari,
tapi tahukah kamu, jika ternyata Papa-lah yang mengingatkan Mama untuk menelponmu?
Mungkin dulu sewaktu kamu kecil, Mama-lah yang lebih sering mengajakmu bercerita atau berdongeng,
tapi tahukah kamu, bahwa sepulang Papa bekerja dan dengan wajah lelah Papa selalu menanyakan pada Mama tentang kabarmu dan apa yang kau lakukan seharian?
Pada saat dirimu masih seorang anak perempuan kecil......
Papa biasanya mengajari putri kecilnya naik sepeda.
Dan setelah Papa mengganggapmu bisa, Papa akan melepaskan roda bantu di sepedamu...
Kemudian Mama bilang : "Jangan dulu Papa, jangan dilepas dulu roda bantunya" ,
Mama takut putri manisnya terjatuh lalu terluka....
Tapi sadarkah kamu?
Bahwa Papa dengan yakin akan membiarkanmu, menatapmu, dan menjagamu mengayuh sepeda dengan seksama karena dia tahu putri kecilnya PASTI BISA.
Pada saat kamu menangis merengek meminta boneka atau mainan yang baru, Mama menatapmu iba.
Tetapi Papa akan mengatakan dengan tegas : "Boleh, kita beli nanti, tapi tidak sekarang"
Tahukah kamu, Papa melakukan itu karena Papa tidak ingin kamu menjadi anak yang manja dengan semua tuntutan yang selalu dapat dipenuhi?
Saat kamu sakit pilek, Papa yang terlalu khawatir sampai kadang sedikit membentak dengan berkata :
"Sudah di bilang! kamu jangan minum air dingin!".
Berbeda dengan Mama yang memperhatikan dan menasihatimu dengan lembut.
Ketahuilah, saat itu Papa benar-benar mengkhawatirkan keadaanmu.
Ketika kamu sudah beranjak remaja....
Kamu mulai menuntut pada Papa untuk dapat izin keluar malam, dan Papa bersikap tegas dan mengatakan: "Tidak boleh!".
Tahukah kamu, bahwa Papa melakukan itu untuk menjagamu?
Karena bagi Papa, kamu adalah sesuatu yang sangat - sangat luar biasa berharga..
Setelah itu kamu marah pada Papa, dan masuk ke kamar sambil membanting pintu...
Dan yang datang mengetok pintu dan membujukmu agar tidak marah adalah Mama....
Tahukah kamu, bahwa saat itu Papa memejamkan matanya dan menahan gejolak dalam batinnya,
Bahwa Papa sangat ingin mengikuti keinginanmu, Tapi lagi-lagi dia HARUS menjagamu?
Ketika saat seorang cowok mulai sering menelponmu, atau bahkan datang ke rumah untuk menemuimu, Papa akan memasang wajah paling cool sedunia.... :')
Papa sesekali menguping atau mengintip saat kamu sedang ngobrol berdua di ruang tamu..
Sadarkah kamu, kalau hati Papa merasa cemburu?
Saat kamu mulai lebih dipercaya, dan Papa melonggarkan sedikit peraturan untuk keluar rumah untukmu, kamu akan memaksa untuk melanggar jam malamnya.
Maka yang dilakukan Papa adalah duduk di ruang tamu, dan menunggumu pulang dengan hati yang sangat khawatir...
Dan setelah perasaan khawatir itu berlarut - larut...
Ketika melihat putri kecilnya pulang larut malam hati Papa akan mengeras dan Papa memarahimu.. .
Sadarkah kamu, bahwa ini karena hal yang di sangat ditakuti Papa akan segera datang?
"Bahwa putri kecilnya akan segera pergi meninggalkan Papa"
Setelah lulus SMA, Papa akan sedikit memaksamu untuk menjadi seorang Dokter atau Insinyur.
Ketahuilah, bahwa seluruh paksaan yang dilakukan Papa itu semata - mata hanya karena memikirkan masa depanmu nanti...
Tapi toh Papa tetap tersenyum dan mendukungmu saat pilihanmu tidak sesuai dengan keinginan Papa
Ketika kamu menjadi gadis dewasa...
Dan kamu harus pergi kuliah dikota lain...
Papa harus melepasmu di bandara.
Tahukah kamu bahwa badan Papa terasa kaku untuk memelukmu?
Papa hanya tersenyum sambil memberi nasehat ini - itu, dan menyuruhmu untuk berhati-hati. .
Padahal Papa ingin sekali menangis seperti Mama dan memelukmu erat-erat.
Yang Papa lakukan hanya menghapus sedikit air mata di sudut matanya, dan menepuk pundakmu berkata "Jaga dirimu baik-baik ya sayang".
Papa melakukan itu semua agar kamu KUAT...kuat untuk pergi dan menjadi dewasa.
Disaat kamu butuh uang untuk membiayai uang semester dan kehidupanmu, orang pertama yang mengerutkan kening adalah Papa.
Papa pasti berusaha keras mencari jalan agar anaknya bisa merasa sama dengan teman-temannya yang lain
Ketika permintaanmu bukan lagi sekedar meminta boneka baru, dan Papa tahu ia tidak bisa memberikan yang kamu inginkan...
Kata-kata yang keluar dari mulut Papa adalah : "Tidak.... Tidak bisa!"
Padahal dalam batin Papa, Ia sangat ingin mengatakan "Iya sayang, nanti Papa belikan untukmu".
Tahukah kamu bahwa pada saat itu Papa merasa gagal membuat anaknya tersenyum?
Saatnya kamu diwisuda sebagai seorang sarjana.
Papa adalah orang pertama yang berdiri dan memberi tepuk tangan untukmu.
Papa akan tersenyum dengan bangga dan puas melihat "putri kecilnya yang tidak manja berhasil tumbuh dewasa, dan telah menjadi seseorang"
Sampai saat seorang teman Lelakimu datang ke rumah dan meminta izin pada Papa untuk mengambilmu darinya.
Papa akan sangat berhati-hati memberikan izin..
Karena Papa tahu.....
Bahwa lelaki itulah yang akan menggantikan posisinya nanti.
Dan akhirnya....
Saat Papa melihatmu duduk di Panggung Pelaminan bersama seseorang Lelaki yang di anggapnya pantas menggantikannya, Papa pun tersenyum bahagia....
Apakah kamu mengetahui, di hari yang bahagia itu Papa pergi kebelakang panggung sebentar, dan menangis?
Papa menangis karena papa sangat berbahagia, kemudian Papa berdoa....
Dalam lirih doanya kepada Tuhan, Papa berkata: "Ya Allah tugasku telah selesai dengan baik...
Putri kecilku yang lucu dan kucintai telah menjadi wanita yang cantik....
Bahagiakanlah ia bersama suaminya..."
Setelah itu Papa hanya bisa menunggu kedatanganmu bersama cucu-cucunya yang sesekali datang untuk menjenguk...
Dengan rambut yang telah dan semakin memutih...
Dan badan serta lengan yang tak lagi kuat untuk menjagamu dari bahaya....
Papa telah menyelesaikan tugasnya....
Papa, Ayah, Bapak, atau Abah kita...
Adalah sosok yang harus selalu terlihat kuat...
Bahkan ketika dia tidak kuat untuk tidak menangis...
Dia harus terlihat tegas bahkan saat dia ingin memanjakanmu. .
Dan dia adalah yang orang pertama yang selalu yakin bahwa "KAMU BISA" dalam segala hal..
Akan sering merasa kangen sekali dengan Mamanya.
Lalu bagaimana dengan Papa?
Mungkin karena Mama lebih sering menelepon untuk menanyakan keadaanmu setiap hari,
tapi tahukah kamu, jika ternyata Papa-lah yang mengingatkan Mama untuk menelponmu?
Mungkin dulu sewaktu kamu kecil, Mama-lah yang lebih sering mengajakmu bercerita atau berdongeng,
tapi tahukah kamu, bahwa sepulang Papa bekerja dan dengan wajah lelah Papa selalu menanyakan pada Mama tentang kabarmu dan apa yang kau lakukan seharian?
Pada saat dirimu masih seorang anak perempuan kecil......
Papa biasanya mengajari putri kecilnya naik sepeda.
Dan setelah Papa mengganggapmu bisa, Papa akan melepaskan roda bantu di sepedamu...
Kemudian Mama bilang : "Jangan dulu Papa, jangan dilepas dulu roda bantunya" ,
Mama takut putri manisnya terjatuh lalu terluka....
Tapi sadarkah kamu?
Bahwa Papa dengan yakin akan membiarkanmu, menatapmu, dan menjagamu mengayuh sepeda dengan seksama karena dia tahu putri kecilnya PASTI BISA.
Pada saat kamu menangis merengek meminta boneka atau mainan yang baru, Mama menatapmu iba.
Tetapi Papa akan mengatakan dengan tegas : "Boleh, kita beli nanti, tapi tidak sekarang"
Tahukah kamu, Papa melakukan itu karena Papa tidak ingin kamu menjadi anak yang manja dengan semua tuntutan yang selalu dapat dipenuhi?
Saat kamu sakit pilek, Papa yang terlalu khawatir sampai kadang sedikit membentak dengan berkata :
"Sudah di bilang! kamu jangan minum air dingin!".
Berbeda dengan Mama yang memperhatikan dan menasihatimu dengan lembut.
Ketahuilah, saat itu Papa benar-benar mengkhawatirkan keadaanmu.
Ketika kamu sudah beranjak remaja....
Kamu mulai menuntut pada Papa untuk dapat izin keluar malam, dan Papa bersikap tegas dan mengatakan: "Tidak boleh!".
Tahukah kamu, bahwa Papa melakukan itu untuk menjagamu?
Karena bagi Papa, kamu adalah sesuatu yang sangat - sangat luar biasa berharga..
Setelah itu kamu marah pada Papa, dan masuk ke kamar sambil membanting pintu...
Dan yang datang mengetok pintu dan membujukmu agar tidak marah adalah Mama....
Tahukah kamu, bahwa saat itu Papa memejamkan matanya dan menahan gejolak dalam batinnya,
Bahwa Papa sangat ingin mengikuti keinginanmu, Tapi lagi-lagi dia HARUS menjagamu?
Ketika saat seorang cowok mulai sering menelponmu, atau bahkan datang ke rumah untuk menemuimu, Papa akan memasang wajah paling cool sedunia.... :')
Papa sesekali menguping atau mengintip saat kamu sedang ngobrol berdua di ruang tamu..
Sadarkah kamu, kalau hati Papa merasa cemburu?
Saat kamu mulai lebih dipercaya, dan Papa melonggarkan sedikit peraturan untuk keluar rumah untukmu, kamu akan memaksa untuk melanggar jam malamnya.
Maka yang dilakukan Papa adalah duduk di ruang tamu, dan menunggumu pulang dengan hati yang sangat khawatir...
Dan setelah perasaan khawatir itu berlarut - larut...
Ketika melihat putri kecilnya pulang larut malam hati Papa akan mengeras dan Papa memarahimu.. .
Sadarkah kamu, bahwa ini karena hal yang di sangat ditakuti Papa akan segera datang?
"Bahwa putri kecilnya akan segera pergi meninggalkan Papa"
Setelah lulus SMA, Papa akan sedikit memaksamu untuk menjadi seorang Dokter atau Insinyur.
Ketahuilah, bahwa seluruh paksaan yang dilakukan Papa itu semata - mata hanya karena memikirkan masa depanmu nanti...
Tapi toh Papa tetap tersenyum dan mendukungmu saat pilihanmu tidak sesuai dengan keinginan Papa
Ketika kamu menjadi gadis dewasa...
Dan kamu harus pergi kuliah dikota lain...
Papa harus melepasmu di bandara.
Tahukah kamu bahwa badan Papa terasa kaku untuk memelukmu?
Papa hanya tersenyum sambil memberi nasehat ini - itu, dan menyuruhmu untuk berhati-hati. .
Padahal Papa ingin sekali menangis seperti Mama dan memelukmu erat-erat.
Yang Papa lakukan hanya menghapus sedikit air mata di sudut matanya, dan menepuk pundakmu berkata "Jaga dirimu baik-baik ya sayang".
Papa melakukan itu semua agar kamu KUAT...kuat untuk pergi dan menjadi dewasa.
Disaat kamu butuh uang untuk membiayai uang semester dan kehidupanmu, orang pertama yang mengerutkan kening adalah Papa.
Papa pasti berusaha keras mencari jalan agar anaknya bisa merasa sama dengan teman-temannya yang lain
Ketika permintaanmu bukan lagi sekedar meminta boneka baru, dan Papa tahu ia tidak bisa memberikan yang kamu inginkan...
Kata-kata yang keluar dari mulut Papa adalah : "Tidak.... Tidak bisa!"
Padahal dalam batin Papa, Ia sangat ingin mengatakan "Iya sayang, nanti Papa belikan untukmu".
Tahukah kamu bahwa pada saat itu Papa merasa gagal membuat anaknya tersenyum?
Saatnya kamu diwisuda sebagai seorang sarjana.
Papa adalah orang pertama yang berdiri dan memberi tepuk tangan untukmu.
Papa akan tersenyum dengan bangga dan puas melihat "putri kecilnya yang tidak manja berhasil tumbuh dewasa, dan telah menjadi seseorang"
Sampai saat seorang teman Lelakimu datang ke rumah dan meminta izin pada Papa untuk mengambilmu darinya.
Papa akan sangat berhati-hati memberikan izin..
Karena Papa tahu.....
Bahwa lelaki itulah yang akan menggantikan posisinya nanti.
Dan akhirnya....
Saat Papa melihatmu duduk di Panggung Pelaminan bersama seseorang Lelaki yang di anggapnya pantas menggantikannya, Papa pun tersenyum bahagia....
Apakah kamu mengetahui, di hari yang bahagia itu Papa pergi kebelakang panggung sebentar, dan menangis?
Papa menangis karena papa sangat berbahagia, kemudian Papa berdoa....
Dalam lirih doanya kepada Tuhan, Papa berkata: "Ya Allah tugasku telah selesai dengan baik...
Putri kecilku yang lucu dan kucintai telah menjadi wanita yang cantik....
Bahagiakanlah ia bersama suaminya..."
Setelah itu Papa hanya bisa menunggu kedatanganmu bersama cucu-cucunya yang sesekali datang untuk menjenguk...
Dengan rambut yang telah dan semakin memutih...
Dan badan serta lengan yang tak lagi kuat untuk menjagamu dari bahaya....
Papa telah menyelesaikan tugasnya....
Papa, Ayah, Bapak, atau Abah kita...
Adalah sosok yang harus selalu terlihat kuat...
Bahkan ketika dia tidak kuat untuk tidak menangis...
Dia harus terlihat tegas bahkan saat dia ingin memanjakanmu. .
Dan dia adalah yang orang pertama yang selalu yakin bahwa "KAMU BISA" dalam segala hal..
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Saat cinta mengenal salah
Kata orang cinta itu indah, tapi buta.
Sampai ada yang bilang kalo sudah cinta, tai kucing rasa coklat.
Ada cinta yang berjalan smoothly di jalanan yang berbatu.
Ada cinta yang menemui terlalu banyak hambatan di jalanan yang beraspal.
Saat kekuatan cinta diuji, saat waktu mengejar jawaban cinta.
Saat cinta bukan lagi urusan 2 insan.
Saat integritas cinta mulai dipertanyakan.
Terlebih lagi eksistensi dan kontinuitas nya.
Itulah saat cinta mengenal salah.
Cinta itu indah,
tapi saat indahnya cinta tidak lagi memberi ruang untuk bernafas tapi malah menghimpit dan bikin sesak nafas.
Hingga akhirnya yang bisa keluar hanyalah hembusan nafas penuh lelah dan seember air mata.
Tak ada lagi kata gombal dan rayu yang indah.
Saat itulah cinta mengenal salah.
Salahkah cinta?
bila harus tumbuh di tanah yang harus digemburkan berkali-kali sebelum akhirnya dia bisa tumbuh subur dan berkembang.
Salahkah?
For a friend who is fighting hard for just a sip of happiness,
and a taste of love..
Fight hard, dear!
and fight well..=)
Sampai ada yang bilang kalo sudah cinta, tai kucing rasa coklat.
Ada cinta yang berjalan smoothly di jalanan yang berbatu.
Ada cinta yang menemui terlalu banyak hambatan di jalanan yang beraspal.
Saat kekuatan cinta diuji, saat waktu mengejar jawaban cinta.
Saat cinta bukan lagi urusan 2 insan.
Saat integritas cinta mulai dipertanyakan.
Terlebih lagi eksistensi dan kontinuitas nya.
Itulah saat cinta mengenal salah.
Cinta itu indah,
tapi saat indahnya cinta tidak lagi memberi ruang untuk bernafas tapi malah menghimpit dan bikin sesak nafas.
Hingga akhirnya yang bisa keluar hanyalah hembusan nafas penuh lelah dan seember air mata.
Tak ada lagi kata gombal dan rayu yang indah.
Saat itulah cinta mengenal salah.
Salahkah cinta?
bila harus tumbuh di tanah yang harus digemburkan berkali-kali sebelum akhirnya dia bisa tumbuh subur dan berkembang.
Salahkah?
For a friend who is fighting hard for just a sip of happiness,
and a taste of love..
Fight hard, dear!
and fight well..=)
Saturday, November 14, 2009
The one with her fave author
So,
I have this favourite author of mine. Her name is Clara Ng.
And yes yes yes, she is Indonesian, and a BIG YES she is talented.
She has written quite many worth-reading, worth-buying, worth-rereading books such as Indiana Chronicles *and this blog is named after my fave male char*, Dimsum terakhir (The last Dimsum, rd), Tiga Venus (Three venus(es), rd), and so on.
The only thing that disturbs me is that every single one of her novel that I have read, except Utukki - Sayap Dewa (Utukki - the gods wings), I can find their counterparts.
The obvious one and the one that all chicklit lovers have been talking about is Indiana Chronicles. The story of Indiana was very much like Shopaholic. I know Clara Ng was not plagiarist for the story line was not the same but the idea, the main character's (Indiana, rd) features was very much same except that Indiana was not a shopaholic.
Dimsum Terakhir is very much similar to Danielle Steel's novel. I forgot the title, but Im very very sure it's DS' novel. Both have the story of three sisters who were separated by their own characteristics. They didnt hate each other, they just didnt love each other affectionately. One day, an event happened that unite them together and let them gone through things that strengthen the bond between them. Of course *again* Clara Ng didnt plagiarise for Dimsum Terakhir take the Chinese-Indonesian background while DS *ohhh how i love DS* is westerners.
Next one is the Unreality Show, it was similar to Sidney Sheldon's novel. They both were about someone who has multiple personality disorder and have -interestingly- as much as 8-10 alter egos *scary, eh?*
Of course *again and again* the story arent the same for SS' one is very much detective alike and CN's one is more to comedy.
The most shocking one, because this one I havent even read the counterpart and I just found out only recently, is the Tiga Venus.
The story of Tiga Venus is very unique. It is unreal, because the story was about three very very different women whose souls are just swapped with each others', but very very interesting and CN just wrote it beautifully.
The story also carries a good moral, in a sense that you have to satisfy yourself with what you have because what you see good in others might not do good to you.
I was just browsing on Tullamarine airport's bookstore one day, when my eye caught one of Jane Green's boooks. She is also one of my favourite authors especially for her "Second Chance" *four thumbs up yaaaaayyyy..!!*
The title was read something like life swapping or swapping life or swapped life *too many choices already..haha* or something like that. I was like, "hhhmm...this is interestingg.." as I was just finished my Tiga Venus book.
So, I read the synopsis, and I was soooooo so so so so soooo shocked that I told my housemate straight away. It was the very same idea with Tiga Venus.
On one of her books, Clara Ng declared something like "I dont care if people called me plagiarist, I just am not."
well, she might be she might not be.
I would very much like to met her one day..just to have a chat with her.
That would be interesting, ya reckon???hahaha;p
Anyway,
plagiarist or not, she is one talented author and I just really really enjoy reading her novels.
*except Utukki..sorry Clara Ng..that one was done miserably.=(*
Maybe if one day she can write her own novel from her own inspiration *something like genuinely genuine Clara Ng*, I would like to read that book very much.
until that time arrives, I will just read whatever idea she just took from others and make it into her own novels.
Plagiarism or not..haha.
I have this favourite author of mine. Her name is Clara Ng.
And yes yes yes, she is Indonesian, and a BIG YES she is talented.
She has written quite many worth-reading, worth-buying, worth-rereading books such as Indiana Chronicles *and this blog is named after my fave male char*, Dimsum terakhir (The last Dimsum, rd), Tiga Venus (Three venus(es), rd), and so on.
The only thing that disturbs me is that every single one of her novel that I have read, except Utukki - Sayap Dewa (Utukki - the gods wings), I can find their counterparts.
WARNING!
SPOILER ALERTT..!!!
SPOILER ALERTT..!!!
The obvious one and the one that all chicklit lovers have been talking about is Indiana Chronicles. The story of Indiana was very much like Shopaholic. I know Clara Ng was not plagiarist for the story line was not the same but the idea, the main character's (Indiana, rd) features was very much same except that Indiana was not a shopaholic.
Dimsum Terakhir is very much similar to Danielle Steel's novel. I forgot the title, but Im very very sure it's DS' novel. Both have the story of three sisters who were separated by their own characteristics. They didnt hate each other, they just didnt love each other affectionately. One day, an event happened that unite them together and let them gone through things that strengthen the bond between them. Of course *again* Clara Ng didnt plagiarise for Dimsum Terakhir take the Chinese-Indonesian background while DS *ohhh how i love DS* is westerners.
Next one is the Unreality Show, it was similar to Sidney Sheldon's novel. They both were about someone who has multiple personality disorder and have -interestingly- as much as 8-10 alter egos *scary, eh?*
Of course *again and again* the story arent the same for SS' one is very much detective alike and CN's one is more to comedy.
The most shocking one, because this one I havent even read the counterpart and I just found out only recently, is the Tiga Venus.
The story of Tiga Venus is very unique. It is unreal, because the story was about three very very different women whose souls are just swapped with each others', but very very interesting and CN just wrote it beautifully.
The story also carries a good moral, in a sense that you have to satisfy yourself with what you have because what you see good in others might not do good to you.
I was just browsing on Tullamarine airport's bookstore one day, when my eye caught one of Jane Green's boooks. She is also one of my favourite authors especially for her "Second Chance" *four thumbs up yaaaaayyyy..!!*
The title was read something like life swapping or swapping life or swapped life *too many choices already..haha* or something like that. I was like, "hhhmm...this is interestingg.." as I was just finished my Tiga Venus book.
So, I read the synopsis, and I was soooooo so so so so soooo shocked that I told my housemate straight away. It was the very same idea with Tiga Venus.
On one of her books, Clara Ng declared something like "I dont care if people called me plagiarist, I just am not."
well, she might be she might not be.
I would very much like to met her one day..just to have a chat with her.
That would be interesting, ya reckon???hahaha;p
Anyway,
plagiarist or not, she is one talented author and I just really really enjoy reading her novels.
*except Utukki..sorry Clara Ng..that one was done miserably.=(*
Maybe if one day she can write her own novel from her own inspiration *something like genuinely genuine Clara Ng*, I would like to read that book very much.
until that time arrives, I will just read whatever idea she just took from others and make it into her own novels.
Plagiarism or not..haha.
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Under melbourne sky
Sun+day=sunday
A sunny sunday....
I am tanned. It was so hot that my Fredo gelato melted in just few minutes..
I waste few drops of my roche gelato..hahaha.
But that didnt stop us to eat Thai food still. Ying Thai + Fredo = Heaven under melbourne sky.haha.
Saturday night I stayed over at my friend's place just because we, two crazy girls, suddenly decided to watch Christmas Carol.
That was a good cartoon movie except that the "three spirits" was horror!!
even for us. So, definitely that wasnt for children consumption.
Anyway, I am listening to "under adelaide sky"
A good song by Adhitya Sofyan.
I guess, by his name, he is an Indonesian.
His pronounciation was good though.
This song has successfully made me all mellow.
I am having my last two exam papers on 13th and 16th.
After that, I will be an official unemployed fresh graduate.
What am I gonna do next?
Moving to Sydney?
Moving to Singapore?
My parents expect me to stay here in Australia.
However, seeing the fact that no Permanent Residency application are to be processed in the next 2 years, I am now not all convinced that I still want to stay here in Aust.
I want so much to move to Singapore.
I want to live the life I have been dreaming of as a professional.
I cant picture myself living here in Melbourne forever.
I want to settle down in Singapore..
But I cant help with the fact that I am asian, Chinese with Indonesian background where it is the culture that a child's life is parents' dream..>.<
What will become of me?Idk.
but this much I know, I am not yet ready to leave all things that I have here.
At least not now=)
A sunny sunday....
I am tanned. It was so hot that my Fredo gelato melted in just few minutes..
I waste few drops of my roche gelato..hahaha.
But that didnt stop us to eat Thai food still. Ying Thai + Fredo = Heaven under melbourne sky.haha.
Saturday night I stayed over at my friend's place just because we, two crazy girls, suddenly decided to watch Christmas Carol.
That was a good cartoon movie except that the "three spirits" was horror!!
even for us. So, definitely that wasnt for children consumption.
Anyway, I am listening to "under adelaide sky"
A good song by Adhitya Sofyan.
I guess, by his name, he is an Indonesian.
His pronounciation was good though.
This song has successfully made me all mellow.
I am having my last two exam papers on 13th and 16th.
After that, I will be an official unemployed fresh graduate.
What am I gonna do next?
Moving to Sydney?
Moving to Singapore?
My parents expect me to stay here in Australia.
However, seeing the fact that no Permanent Residency application are to be processed in the next 2 years, I am now not all convinced that I still want to stay here in Aust.
I want so much to move to Singapore.
I want to live the life I have been dreaming of as a professional.
I cant picture myself living here in Melbourne forever.
I want to settle down in Singapore..
But I cant help with the fact that I am asian, Chinese with Indonesian background where it is the culture that a child's life is parents' dream..>.<
What will become of me?Idk.
but this much I know, I am not yet ready to leave all things that I have here.
At least not now=)
Friday, November 6, 2009
with God
What would you do if you fell for a person that you know would never fall for you?
What would you do if you wanted a thing that you can never have?
What would you do if you felt like already having what you want but suddenly it was taken away in a blink of eye?
One thing I know.
I will try so hard.....
To just hanging on.
To walk with head straight up.
To walk with poise.
With God;)
What would you do if you wanted a thing that you can never have?
What would you do if you felt like already having what you want but suddenly it was taken away in a blink of eye?
One thing I know.
I will try so hard.....
To just hanging on.
To walk with head straight up.
To walk with poise.
With God;)
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
The one with the thank you and conventional way of thinking
Such a simple phrase "thank you"
As technology is evolving, people grew apart.
Such simple phrase such as "Im sorry", "thank you", "Please" are all pretty much forgotten.
Young parents nowadays are more concerned with what their children are wearing, what extracurricular courses their children are enrolled in so that they will rank better in their class.
Children nowadays are more like parents' trophies.
They often forgot to remind their kids to say thank you even to a maid or a driver working for their family.
Quite so many times I watch kids said something like this to their maid, "pick my socks and put my shoes back in the shoe rack!" and they forgot one simple word "PLEASE" or simply "THANK YOU"
Even my 7yo cousin did that. I was shocked.
This afternoon, as I was catching my breath after swam 4 laps, I noticed a boy around 2 yo playing with his dad.
His dad pretty much look like Jesus in one of Kevjumba's videos "Scaring Jesus". Try to find it on youtube. That video made me laughed so hard;p
Anyway, back to topic, after a while I realize that that boy has an older brother around 4-5 yo joining the swimming course that was still in progress that time.
Few minutes later, I saw the class had been dismissed and he ran to join his little brother and father instantenously *such a nice family they have there;)*
Suddenly I saw this boy *goshh he was sooooo cute..way too cute..If I could, I would ran into him just to pinch his cheek once. the temptation was so big though..LOL* ran back to his swimming teacher and shyly spoke "thank you" *aaww..that was way too cute..I cant help smiling*
When he realised his teacher did not hear, he pulled his teacher's hand and said again "thank you" and maybe because he was too shy, he ran back to his father instantaneously.
The father smiled to the teacher and then petted his head and said to the boy, "good boy" and the father smiled so proudly.
I cant help smiling seeing this happy little family interacting with each other.
Clearly also that the little brother adore his older brother so much.
Another story happened another day, I was going out with two of my friends, a guy and a girl, to watch a movie.
Quite a scary movie that was and my girl friend was so afraid..LOL;p
Finally me and the guy decided to accompany this girl for some times until she calmed down.
So, as we were already in front of the girl's apartment, I suggested that we might as well just go in and have a chat inside.
Then I was shocked when my friend said, "you know im a guy, right?I dont think it is a good idea to have a chat inside. I think we just find some 24 hrs maccas around here."
Maybe my pride didnt allow me to show that I, at that very second, became very respectful towards him.
Such a guy still exist.
That conventional kind of courtesy still exist.
Now, that's amazing, isnt that??;)
Not many people still do that.
Also this does not mean that those who does not do that are actually uneducated or something.
Or maybe I just have too much guy friends that tease me so much that they forgot how to behave in front of me, I honestly dont know..hahaha~~
It is just this few people opened my mind that such words, such a set of thinking are just too beautiful to let them extinct.
As technology is evolving, people grew apart.
Such simple phrase such as "Im sorry", "thank you", "Please" are all pretty much forgotten.
Young parents nowadays are more concerned with what their children are wearing, what extracurricular courses their children are enrolled in so that they will rank better in their class.
Children nowadays are more like parents' trophies.
They often forgot to remind their kids to say thank you even to a maid or a driver working for their family.
Quite so many times I watch kids said something like this to their maid, "pick my socks and put my shoes back in the shoe rack!" and they forgot one simple word "PLEASE" or simply "THANK YOU"
Even my 7yo cousin did that. I was shocked.
This afternoon, as I was catching my breath after swam 4 laps, I noticed a boy around 2 yo playing with his dad.
His dad pretty much look like Jesus in one of Kevjumba's videos "Scaring Jesus". Try to find it on youtube. That video made me laughed so hard;p
Anyway, back to topic, after a while I realize that that boy has an older brother around 4-5 yo joining the swimming course that was still in progress that time.
Few minutes later, I saw the class had been dismissed and he ran to join his little brother and father instantenously *such a nice family they have there;)*
Suddenly I saw this boy *goshh he was sooooo cute..way too cute..If I could, I would ran into him just to pinch his cheek once. the temptation was so big though..LOL* ran back to his swimming teacher and shyly spoke "thank you" *aaww..that was way too cute..I cant help smiling*
When he realised his teacher did not hear, he pulled his teacher's hand and said again "thank you" and maybe because he was too shy, he ran back to his father instantaneously.
The father smiled to the teacher and then petted his head and said to the boy, "good boy" and the father smiled so proudly.
I cant help smiling seeing this happy little family interacting with each other.
Clearly also that the little brother adore his older brother so much.
Another story happened another day, I was going out with two of my friends, a guy and a girl, to watch a movie.
Quite a scary movie that was and my girl friend was so afraid..LOL;p
Finally me and the guy decided to accompany this girl for some times until she calmed down.
So, as we were already in front of the girl's apartment, I suggested that we might as well just go in and have a chat inside.
Then I was shocked when my friend said, "you know im a guy, right?I dont think it is a good idea to have a chat inside. I think we just find some 24 hrs maccas around here."
Maybe my pride didnt allow me to show that I, at that very second, became very respectful towards him.
Such a guy still exist.
That conventional kind of courtesy still exist.
Now, that's amazing, isnt that??;)
Not many people still do that.
Also this does not mean that those who does not do that are actually uneducated or something.
Or maybe I just have too much guy friends that tease me so much that they forgot how to behave in front of me, I honestly dont know..hahaha~~
It is just this few people opened my mind that such words, such a set of thinking are just too beautiful to let them extinct.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Dreams will keep us alive
Ahh..talking about exam..=)
bitter sweet.
I am in swotvac now (which is basically silent week before the official exam period starts).
This will be my very las swotvac, my very last exam.
I am gonna miss uni, miss my old life, as I usually do.=)
but a friend of mine said
"it's ok if you miss exams, but remember, after this after your graduation, you'll be greeted with new, exciting and mysterious life."
Oh man, I already miss lectures and tutes by now.
Lots of things I am missing from my old life.
My high school life. Cheating during tests, skipping classes and get detention, sleeping in class and get scolded while in uni no one cares if you do any of those things.
My uni life. The laughs during lunch break, the rush to classes, the thoughts of skipping classes and go to Chadstone instead.
Goshh..So many beautiful things.
My life is so beautiful with all the mess, the regret, the love, the hatred, the laughter, and the tears.
Only by this time that I know life is irreversible.
Once you go, there is no turning back.
Whatever done is done and you cannot undo.
I dont know what my future brings. All I know is I have dreams and dreams keep me alive.
Those dreams keep me from falling, remind me to stand up and start walking from where I fell.
One thing I am afraid.
I am not afraid of not being success because only I know what is my success.
People's success is not my success.
I am afraid I will lose all my friend. I am afraid of growing up because growing up means leaving behind all your friends who doesnt grow up at the same pace.
My dreams....
London
Paris
Germany
Holland
Prague
PriceWaterhouse Cooper
Singapore
A family of my own
Ballet and Russia (they are a package and inseparable)
Dreams will keep us alive..=)
bitter sweet.
I am in swotvac now (which is basically silent week before the official exam period starts).
This will be my very las swotvac, my very last exam.
I am gonna miss uni, miss my old life, as I usually do.=)
but a friend of mine said
"it's ok if you miss exams, but remember, after this after your graduation, you'll be greeted with new, exciting and mysterious life."
Oh man, I already miss lectures and tutes by now.
Lots of things I am missing from my old life.
My high school life. Cheating during tests, skipping classes and get detention, sleeping in class and get scolded while in uni no one cares if you do any of those things.
My uni life. The laughs during lunch break, the rush to classes, the thoughts of skipping classes and go to Chadstone instead.
Goshh..So many beautiful things.
My life is so beautiful with all the mess, the regret, the love, the hatred, the laughter, and the tears.
Only by this time that I know life is irreversible.
Once you go, there is no turning back.
Whatever done is done and you cannot undo.
I dont know what my future brings. All I know is I have dreams and dreams keep me alive.
Those dreams keep me from falling, remind me to stand up and start walking from where I fell.
One thing I am afraid.
I am not afraid of not being success because only I know what is my success.
People's success is not my success.
I am afraid I will lose all my friend. I am afraid of growing up because growing up means leaving behind all your friends who doesnt grow up at the same pace.
My dreams....
London
Paris
Germany
Holland
Prague
PriceWaterhouse Cooper
Singapore
A family of my own
Ballet and Russia (they are a package and inseparable)
Dreams will keep us alive..=)
Women, be smart, beware!!!
So, that day, I was sitting next to a friend of mine. She is cute *fyi, no, Im not a lesbian*, with around 155cm height and petite kind of posture. Long story short, she is pretty. Let's just call her J.
There was a guy, actually a friend of mine also but I'll be happy to pretend that I dont know him *you'll find out why later on*, sitting in front of her. Suddenly when people in the room start to make some noise, he took his Blackberry out, held it behind the back of the person next to him, with the camera facing my friend, and guess what???!!!
I HEARD THE SHUTTER OF HIS BLACKBERRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I was like "WTH!!!!"
I was stunned. Literally stunned. For few seconds I kept staring at his phone and trying to digest what had just happened.
He was looking ahead, not turning around, like pretending to act normally.
When all of a sudden, he turned around and saw me staring at his BB speechlessly, he started to get nervous.
He stuttered saying "no, nnggg, no, hhmm.. it was -- it wass his.......hhmmm....*while randomly pointing at the guy next to him*" and then he just gave up explaining what he just did.
At that time I still had not recovered from my shock and started to stare at him and his BB.
I was like "AHAA!!dudee!!you're so busted!!!!" but instead I was still so speechless.
I couldnt help to lol only I didnt because that would be awkward. People will start to question my sanity instead of his.haha.
So then, few minutes after, I told another guy who is a close friend of mine.
I told him what this sicko guy had just did to J and my friend, let's call him S, told me "as if you dont know that he likes to watch-slash-look-slash-staring at pretty girls."
I was like "wtfh!!!For goodness sake!!Blah!"
I mean, who doesnt??
If you are a guy then maybe when you look at a pretty girl you might start admiring or might be fantasizing of ohh-God-knows-what.
If you are a girl, hey!!admit it you will also stare at her admiring her beauty and will start to see how she did her eyes, her cheek, her hair blah blah.
But no sensible person will do what he did!!
Secretly taking photos of other people. Goshh.. He is a PhD student *if Im not mistaken* for crying out loud but he did something so low that I dont think even a kindergarten student will do.
I didnt tell J of what happened that day because I think she might freak out.
So, until today she didnt know that kind of thing even happened.
And I, honestly, am still thinking that she is better off not knowing.
Sooo......
Women, be smart!
beware!!
crazy guys are all around you!!;p
ps: even if you are not pretty, beware!!;p
There was a guy, actually a friend of mine also but I'll be happy to pretend that I dont know him *you'll find out why later on*, sitting in front of her. Suddenly when people in the room start to make some noise, he took his Blackberry out, held it behind the back of the person next to him, with the camera facing my friend, and guess what???!!!
I HEARD THE SHUTTER OF HIS BLACKBERRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I was like "WTH!!!!"
I was stunned. Literally stunned. For few seconds I kept staring at his phone and trying to digest what had just happened.
He was looking ahead, not turning around, like pretending to act normally.
When all of a sudden, he turned around and saw me staring at his BB speechlessly, he started to get nervous.
He stuttered saying "no, nnggg, no, hhmm.. it was -- it wass his.......hhmmm....*while randomly pointing at the guy next to him*" and then he just gave up explaining what he just did.
At that time I still had not recovered from my shock and started to stare at him and his BB.
I was like "AHAA!!dudee!!you're so busted!!!!" but instead I was still so speechless.
I couldnt help to lol only I didnt because that would be awkward. People will start to question my sanity instead of his.haha.
So then, few minutes after, I told another guy who is a close friend of mine.
I told him what this sicko guy had just did to J and my friend, let's call him S, told me "as if you dont know that he likes to watch-slash-look-slash-staring at pretty girls."
I was like "wtfh!!!For goodness sake!!Blah!"
I mean, who doesnt??
If you are a guy then maybe when you look at a pretty girl you might start admiring or might be fantasizing of ohh-God-knows-what.
If you are a girl, hey!!admit it you will also stare at her admiring her beauty and will start to see how she did her eyes, her cheek, her hair blah blah.
But no sensible person will do what he did!!
Secretly taking photos of other people. Goshh.. He is a PhD student *if Im not mistaken* for crying out loud but he did something so low that I dont think even a kindergarten student will do.
I didnt tell J of what happened that day because I think she might freak out.
So, until today she didnt know that kind of thing even happened.
And I, honestly, am still thinking that she is better off not knowing.
Sooo......
Women, be smart!
beware!!
crazy guys are all around you!!;p
ps: even if you are not pretty, beware!!;p
Thursday, October 22, 2009
The love that's gone
I once loved, and was loved
I had you once in my life.
Albeit I dont get to keep you forever
because our forever ended one evening
as the winter wind blew.
But Im grateful you've ever been in my life.
I thank the lord still, for every smile you gave me.
for every bits of the love and laugh
for every bits and pieces.
Because the gap between us just grew larger and larger and never shrink again.
That much i knew.
And that's when the love started to hurt me.
People come and go.
You've gone.
But the memories stay.
And I've got to keep them.
This time, forever.
VaniGo
For the love that was blown away by the winter wind.
I had you once in my life.
Albeit I dont get to keep you forever
because our forever ended one evening
as the winter wind blew.
But Im grateful you've ever been in my life.
I thank the lord still, for every smile you gave me.
for every bits of the love and laugh
for every bits and pieces.
Because the gap between us just grew larger and larger and never shrink again.
That much i knew.
And that's when the love started to hurt me.
People come and go.
You've gone.
But the memories stay.
And I've got to keep them.
This time, forever.
VaniGo
For the love that was blown away by the winter wind.
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
The story of ice cream seller and a poor kid
One afternoon, an 8yo boy came to an ice cream shop. Because he was so short, he had to tip on his toe just to see the waitress. He dressed up so ungracefully, so contrary to the nicely fitted ice cream shop.
He asked the waitress, "How much is the sundae cream?".
The waitress said, "five thousand rupiah".
He took some coins from his pocket and started counting while the waitress wait impatiently because behind there was a long line of people with real money who also came to have some ice cream.
Then the boy asked again, "what about the plain cream?". The waitress, looking down at the poor boy, said "It is three thousand five hundred rupiah." and again the boy counted his coins.
Suddenly he made a decision and said, "OK, I'll have the plain cream" and tendered his 3500 rupiah in turn of his ice cream.
After a while, it is time for the waitress to clean the tables. When cleaning the table where the boy sat, she was shocked.
There laid on the table, 2 coins of 500 rupiah, and 5 coins of 100 rupiah (added up to 1500) stacked neatly on the table. The waitress suddenly felt a poignant feeling of sadness and regretfulness.
Actually, that boy could afford a plate of sundae cream. But he sacrificed his own wants for the sake of giving some tip to the waitress and yet she looked down on that boy.
He asked the waitress, "How much is the sundae cream?".
The waitress said, "five thousand rupiah".
He took some coins from his pocket and started counting while the waitress wait impatiently because behind there was a long line of people with real money who also came to have some ice cream.
Then the boy asked again, "what about the plain cream?". The waitress, looking down at the poor boy, said "It is three thousand five hundred rupiah." and again the boy counted his coins.
Suddenly he made a decision and said, "OK, I'll have the plain cream" and tendered his 3500 rupiah in turn of his ice cream.
After a while, it is time for the waitress to clean the tables. When cleaning the table where the boy sat, she was shocked.
There laid on the table, 2 coins of 500 rupiah, and 5 coins of 100 rupiah (added up to 1500) stacked neatly on the table. The waitress suddenly felt a poignant feeling of sadness and regretfulness.
Actually, that boy could afford a plate of sundae cream. But he sacrificed his own wants for the sake of giving some tip to the waitress and yet she looked down on that boy.
What a beautiful story to teach us how to appreciate all people equally and not the rich only because sometimes the poor are those who know the hardship of life and so, they are more tolerant, more thoughtful to others.
A story to be our wake up call, that we are often times being the waitress. Thinking that we are better than the others, better looking, smarter, richer, know more knowledge while all we do was just making us look like a fool to the world.
Anywayyy...
I was watching a new Tw drama called Xia yi zhan, xinfu (next stop, happiness).
There were so many sweet lines in the drama that I would like to quote. Unfortunately I forgot some of them. So, let's see what I got here..haha;p
Too bad I can't write the Chinese character..=(
Boy when leaving the girl:
"Ni yi ge ren xiao xin yi dian, you shi jiao wo"
(you be careful when I leave you alone, if anything happen, just call me) aawww..;p
Boy said to the girl:
"Wo xiang gen ni sho. Yi hou, ru guo ni yu dao le shen me wei xian, bu yao jiao BoHoLong, ni zi yao jiao RenGuangXi. Wo jiu hui chu xian, jiu ni de."
(I just want to tell you, if you encounter some trouble, don't call BoHoLong, you just have to call RenGuangXi. I will come, and save you) aawwwww..so sweett;p
That's all I can recall.
The main male character was played by Vaness wu and the girl was played by the same girl who played in The Outsider. Her name is An YiXuan, if Im not mistaken.
This drama is pretty much similar to F4 *especially with Vaness Wu as the main male character..;p*
Anyway, time to go and sleep..
Nitezz..;)
Sunday, October 11, 2009
WARNING
This post contains some material that might cause disagreement. Readers discretion and sensibility is a MUST. If you are not sensible, close the tab, the window whatsoever.. OR just move to the next post.. kamsia looohhhh;p
So, I was on the train *again* and my imagination went wild..;p
and i was wondering, if you could ask God to make your future just as you like it, what kind of future will you ask??
of course we assume God will grant whatever you wish.
I know this much is impossible. But when imagination gone wild, nothing is impossible..;p
So, if I could as God, I would as God to give me a husband who is a photographer, or a journalist who would together with me *yes!!that's the point*, go around the world, taking photos, writing articles.
Why is that so?? because there is FREEDOMMM!! *yyaaayy..!!*
Today you could be in London, the next week you could be in Paris, the next day you might end up at some different yet exciting country, the next week, God knew where!!
The closer I am to become an official citizen of the world (read: finish this sux uni life) the more it got me into thinking about what I want, what I will be, what I will do.
I could wake up one day wanting to be an auditor or cost accountant with frantic working hour.
Or waking up the next day wanting to be a photographer or a journalist who can go around the world and get paid *yeaahh!!those people ftw*, only to find the next week those dreams has yet again changed into something like being a housewife, staying at home taking care of kids and making a hella lot of money using my finance knowledge
*now i can hear people yelling "booo!!bullshitt!!you hate finance by that much, Vania"*
yeah i do!!;p
but i believe that you believe that this belief is true:
"there is only a fine line between love and hate"
aw aw awww..talking about love..
what do you think those birds are in?
are they in love??
or, are they in lust??
take a closer lookk...!!!
yeahh..so, are they in love? are they in lust??
what they do next is rather inappropriate and private *which is why i didnt take any pictures of them* the white bird just got on top of the black one. After a few seconds of a light bumping, or jumping, *whatsoever!!I know you know what I mean!!hahaha* they just flew away..LOL.
I guess they are booking a bird motel or something..LOL.
That is why children should not be wandering around by themselves on any station throughout Australia!!;p
Because that might be what they see under no adult surveilance..hahahaha.
What a sicko bird..LOL
Anyway, leave some comments as to what will you ask God *as if that is even possible*??
what do you think those birds are in?are they in love??
or, are they in lust??
take a closer lookk...!!!
yeahh..so, are they in love? are they in lust??what they do next is rather inappropriate and private *which is why i didnt take any pictures of them* the white bird just got on top of the black one. After a few seconds of a light bumping, or jumping, *whatsoever!!I know you know what I mean!!hahaha* they just flew away..LOL.
I guess they are booking a bird motel or something..LOL.
That is why children should not be wandering around by themselves on any station throughout Australia!!;p
Because that might be what they see under no adult surveilance..hahahaha.
What a sicko bird..LOL
Anyway, leave some comments as to what will you ask God *as if that is even possible*??
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Call me racist call me shallow..but they are smelly and so ooohhh..!!
I was on the train heading back home after undergoing some health check.
which means my blood was sucked by that damn syringe!! *i hate you, syringes*
that was only small amount of blood *of course, otherwise i wont be writing this post now* but nonetheless i felt so queasy, weary like some sign of anemic.. *exaggeration!!;p*
the already bad thing had just became worse when someone board the train, sending signal of some nasty aroma, and the worst of my day had just begun when she sat in front of me..for goodness sake!!~~
She was so smelly, stinky, smell like some old rotten bok choy!!
she is not asian, just in case if you guys are wondering because I put the magic word "racist" on the title.
that was on flinders st station. i tried to just sit there and cover my nose, trying not to vomit, just because i didnt want to hurt her feeling assuming she would go down several station after..
But 3 stations after and she still did not go down, i waited until the train approaching the next station and then i moved seat, pretending i was leaving the train.
Good thing that I moved because apparently she went down at the same station with me which means around 40 minutes from Flinders st station minus three stations after..
And that got me to think. how much extra money do you spend to take a shower every now and then??does that hurt you to have a shower every now and then??how long have you clean your house since the last you did??
As my fave vlogger, Nigahiga, said in his latest "off the pill - stink people" vlog,
you STINK PEOPLE are making this world bulimicc!!!!!
you are hurting yourself and hurting others around you.
you are hurting the WORLD!!
please take a shower, people!!how is taking a shower gonna hurt you??and that wont take much of your time. have a quick shower and we all will be peacefully riding the train........or the bus....and the tram!!
Today, I promised myself to study at home. to rush my assignments *because I have 3 and they are due in just one week time* but I ended up watching MyChoony on youtube and having a fling for ShimmyCocoPuffsss..
Hey, i know he's got a gf but i've gotta say he is hott..hahahaha :D
you are some hot stuff, dude!!but i watched your old videos and i dont like the you in you puber time. i like you now better..hahaha.
however, that's not gonna change the fact that my most faves are nigahiga and kevjumba.........and happyslip *im not sexist;p*
anyway, got to go back to my assignment.
ciaooo..
which means my blood was sucked by that damn syringe!! *i hate you, syringes*
that was only small amount of blood *of course, otherwise i wont be writing this post now* but nonetheless i felt so queasy, weary like some sign of anemic.. *exaggeration!!;p*
the already bad thing had just became worse when someone board the train, sending signal of some nasty aroma, and the worst of my day had just begun when she sat in front of me..for goodness sake!!~~
She was so smelly, stinky, smell like some old rotten bok choy!!
she is not asian, just in case if you guys are wondering because I put the magic word "racist" on the title.
that was on flinders st station. i tried to just sit there and cover my nose, trying not to vomit, just because i didnt want to hurt her feeling assuming she would go down several station after..
But 3 stations after and she still did not go down, i waited until the train approaching the next station and then i moved seat, pretending i was leaving the train.
Good thing that I moved because apparently she went down at the same station with me which means around 40 minutes from Flinders st station minus three stations after..
And that got me to think. how much extra money do you spend to take a shower every now and then??does that hurt you to have a shower every now and then??how long have you clean your house since the last you did??
As my fave vlogger, Nigahiga, said in his latest "off the pill - stink people" vlog,
you STINK PEOPLE are making this world bulimicc!!!!!
you are hurting yourself and hurting others around you.
you are hurting the WORLD!!
please take a shower, people!!how is taking a shower gonna hurt you??and that wont take much of your time. have a quick shower and we all will be peacefully riding the train........or the bus....and the tram!!
Today, I promised myself to study at home. to rush my assignments *because I have 3 and they are due in just one week time* but I ended up watching MyChoony on youtube and having a fling for ShimmyCocoPuffsss..
Hey, i know he's got a gf but i've gotta say he is hott..hahahaha :D
you are some hot stuff, dude!!but i watched your old videos and i dont like the you in you puber time. i like you now better..hahaha.
however, that's not gonna change the fact that my most faves are nigahiga and kevjumba.........and happyslip *im not sexist;p*
anyway, got to go back to my assignment.
ciaooo..
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Happy belated bday to me
I was bashed, cold water *in a cold early-spring night*, with egg, and flour..
after pictures and pictures, i took a shower.
out from shower, another round is waiting for me..*and i was helpless*
and so i was covered in tomato sauce and bbq sauce from head to toe.
yeah, my dear friends did that..
So, that incident plus chocolate cake and another cheesecake marked my 21st bday.
a special day, for most people.
anyway, i hate my 21st bday.
not because i dont want to live *for goodness sake!!*
i am just not ready with the responsibilities, life challenge, burden that comes with the number two-enty-one;p
and so, there are questions that come with those reasons for not enjoying my two-enty-one-st birthday.
the foremost question was from my bff "what sorts of burden and responsibilities??"
lets take an example, given the exact same situation and same mistake, only that the wrong-doer was 15 yo vs 21 yo. how will people react on each of those situation?
Miss Maria Teresa Vania Sumargo has done, although little *NONE!!* but convincing, research and found out that:
15 yo: "that's alright, she is just 15 yo. understandable. this will be a lesson for her so that she wont do the same mistake when she's all grown-up"
*wow wow wowwwwww...*
21 yo: "she's a dumbass, stupid moron, how old is she??for goodness sake!!she's twenty onee!!"
*hell yeahhh..*
lets make another scenario.........
two unemployed, both are girls, age 21 vs 26.
how will people react??
Again, according to Miss Maria Teresa Vania Sumargo uber-unreal research, *muwahaha* she found out that:
21 yo: she's just 21, she just graduated from uni. more over it is economy downturn. just bear with hear another few months.."
26 yo: she's supposed to have a stable income by now. How could she be unemployed in such a condition. it is economy downturn and she cant even support herself??her parents are still supporting her? oh my goodness"
*uh-ohhh..*
see the difference noww??
as someone grows, people will start growing expectation of him/her.
as you grow older and older, you have even less and less chance of screwing your life up. which in some condition is inevitable.
nonetheless it's up to that person as to how he/she will react to this burden and responsibilities.
I chose to face this gracefully, happily, and with God. this way, the burden has just suddenly become much lighter..
So, happy 21st bday vania..
and hapy 23rd bday nekkk..;p
i love you nek...hahaha;p
ps: so i already settled my debt of a post on my birthday;p
after pictures and pictures, i took a shower.
out from shower, another round is waiting for me..*and i was helpless*
and so i was covered in tomato sauce and bbq sauce from head to toe.
yeah, my dear friends did that..
So, that incident plus chocolate cake and another cheesecake marked my 21st bday.
a special day, for most people.
anyway, i hate my 21st bday.
not because i dont want to live *for goodness sake!!*
i am just not ready with the responsibilities, life challenge, burden that comes with the number two-enty-one;p
and so, there are questions that come with those reasons for not enjoying my two-enty-one-st birthday.
the foremost question was from my bff "what sorts of burden and responsibilities??"
lets take an example, given the exact same situation and same mistake, only that the wrong-doer was 15 yo vs 21 yo. how will people react on each of those situation?
Miss Maria Teresa Vania Sumargo has done, although little *NONE!!* but convincing, research and found out that:
15 yo: "that's alright, she is just 15 yo. understandable. this will be a lesson for her so that she wont do the same mistake when she's all grown-up"
*wow wow wowwwwww...*
21 yo: "she's a dumbass, stupid moron, how old is she??for goodness sake!!she's twenty onee!!"
*hell yeahhh..*
lets make another scenario.........
two unemployed, both are girls, age 21 vs 26.
how will people react??
Again, according to Miss Maria Teresa Vania Sumargo uber-unreal research, *muwahaha* she found out that:
21 yo: she's just 21, she just graduated from uni. more over it is economy downturn. just bear with hear another few months.."
26 yo: she's supposed to have a stable income by now. How could she be unemployed in such a condition. it is economy downturn and she cant even support herself??her parents are still supporting her? oh my goodness"
*uh-ohhh..*
see the difference noww??
as someone grows, people will start growing expectation of him/her.
as you grow older and older, you have even less and less chance of screwing your life up. which in some condition is inevitable.
nonetheless it's up to that person as to how he/she will react to this burden and responsibilities.
I chose to face this gracefully, happily, and with God. this way, the burden has just suddenly become much lighter..
So, happy 21st bday vania..
and hapy 23rd bday nekkk..;p
i love you nek...hahaha;p
ps: so i already settled my debt of a post on my birthday;p
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
When the road of life still lies ahead..
I was just watching videos on youtube when I found interesting Singaporean director Yasmin Ahmad and tried to search her name on internet.
I found she was just recently dead. Leaving a beautiful project behind that is the film of Thaddeus Cheong, a Singaporean triathlon athlete who was dead on 2007 after he finished his pre-SEA games race.
Anyway, I wont be talking about Yasmin Ahmad, nor I will be talking about Thadd although I will relate this person to Thadd a lot.
I dont know Thad. I just found out about this guy only a few hour ago.
But the grieve of his friends, his closest friends who had fun only a few days before he passed away, who went on a fishing trip a few weeks before, I understand their feeling.
I know how it feels to lose someone you love, someone that you adore, idolised.
I was once had a friend like that.
He passed away when I was 12 and he was 18, now that I am 21, he passed away 9 years ago.
But the pain still lingers and just did not go away. Time did not wash the pain and the loss of a friend, a brother.
Even as I write this I am crying for I miss my friend, my brother.
He was an athlete like Thadd was.
My friend liked to do barongsai (the traditional chinese lion dance).
He had not got a chance to do barongsai few years before his death.
But the last time he did that he passed away, still wearing the lion costume. He went away doing the thing he liked, just like Thadd. He was 18 and Thadd was 17.
My friend was a boy a mother could ever ask. He was a student a teacher could ever ask. He was a friend, a brother, people could ever ask.
See how much alikeness they had..
That was why when I read those blog entries made by Thadd's friends I cant hold back anymore.
I miss my friend too much.
He is the reason why I took accounting, he is the reason why I make myself love accounting. He had a dream that I want so much to fulfill. Though it was a 12-yo's dream, I grow up carrying the dream to fulfill his dream. Without his dream I will not have one, for my dream is his.
He is the one who make me the way I am today.
It's been 9 years and the pain and the emptiness just did not go away.
I want to show him the girl I have become.
His death taught me a lot. I used to think why a boy as perfect as him passed away so fast when the road of his life still lies long ahead. I wonder what he would become if he still lived on now. He'll be 30 yo now. Will he be an athlete still or will he be a business man?
If only I could turn back time..............
May my friend and Thadd rest in peace=)
I hope they are now in a place where there are no happiness, no sadness, just peacefulness.
I found she was just recently dead. Leaving a beautiful project behind that is the film of Thaddeus Cheong, a Singaporean triathlon athlete who was dead on 2007 after he finished his pre-SEA games race.
Anyway, I wont be talking about Yasmin Ahmad, nor I will be talking about Thadd although I will relate this person to Thadd a lot.
I dont know Thad. I just found out about this guy only a few hour ago.
But the grieve of his friends, his closest friends who had fun only a few days before he passed away, who went on a fishing trip a few weeks before, I understand their feeling.
I know how it feels to lose someone you love, someone that you adore, idolised.
I was once had a friend like that.
He passed away when I was 12 and he was 18, now that I am 21, he passed away 9 years ago.
But the pain still lingers and just did not go away. Time did not wash the pain and the loss of a friend, a brother.
Even as I write this I am crying for I miss my friend, my brother.
He was an athlete like Thadd was.
My friend liked to do barongsai (the traditional chinese lion dance).
He had not got a chance to do barongsai few years before his death.
But the last time he did that he passed away, still wearing the lion costume. He went away doing the thing he liked, just like Thadd. He was 18 and Thadd was 17.
My friend was a boy a mother could ever ask. He was a student a teacher could ever ask. He was a friend, a brother, people could ever ask.
See how much alikeness they had..
That was why when I read those blog entries made by Thadd's friends I cant hold back anymore.
I miss my friend too much.
He is the reason why I took accounting, he is the reason why I make myself love accounting. He had a dream that I want so much to fulfill. Though it was a 12-yo's dream, I grow up carrying the dream to fulfill his dream. Without his dream I will not have one, for my dream is his.
He is the one who make me the way I am today.
It's been 9 years and the pain and the emptiness just did not go away.
I want to show him the girl I have become.
His death taught me a lot. I used to think why a boy as perfect as him passed away so fast when the road of his life still lies long ahead. I wonder what he would become if he still lived on now. He'll be 30 yo now. Will he be an athlete still or will he be a business man?
If only I could turn back time..............
May my friend and Thadd rest in peace=)
I hope they are now in a place where there are no happiness, no sadness, just peacefulness.
Thursday, August 6, 2009
what does it take to be a beautiful girl??
Is it our beautiful, famous-branded, designer, clothes?
Is it our bag that costs us thousands of dollars??
Or is it the make ups we put on?
Or maybe is it our 10cm-heel *hell* shoes??
What about our mini skirts??hot pants??bikinis??do they make us look beautiful??
do we look better in our uber pricey, sexy-looking, garment-lacking tops???
Or is it our truly-natural looking self that is carrying our most pure heart that makes us look beautifull??
which one is more appealing? a girl wearing a oh-so-not-elegant burberry pattern shirt but does not look good on her??or a girl who just wear a plain polo shirt but dress up gracefully???
what do u guys reckon??
what defines a person? what makes a person that person?
does a person look better if they use a latest phone on the market??
will a person look better if they eat uber-pricey, unhealthy, fatty food??
or maybe he/she looks better if he/she eats so-called-healthy0but-in-fact-not caesar salad??
fyi, caesar salad is so fatty...!! dont ear caesar salad for the sake of salad-thing because it will make u -still- fatt..!!
at the end of the day, it is your choice to define a beautiful girl.
you choose to be the person you want yourself to be.
beacuse i, personally, believe that if you are yourself, then you will look gorgeous doesnt matter who you are, how do you look, whether you are having a bad hair day, or just wearing a t-shirt and jeans.
the beauty is inside. not outside.
does not matter how you dress, what phone do you use, is it jimmy choo you are wearing, you look gorgeous if you are gorgeous inside.
life is full of choices.
life is hard per se. dont make it harder by trying to be someone else just to please people because you cannot please everybody.
you are who you wanted to be. you already chose to be who you are.
you are who you are and be who you want to be.
agreed???=)
Is it our bag that costs us thousands of dollars??
Or is it the make ups we put on?
Or maybe is it our 10cm-heel *hell* shoes??
What about our mini skirts??hot pants??bikinis??do they make us look beautiful??
do we look better in our uber pricey, sexy-looking, garment-lacking tops???
Or is it our truly-natural looking self that is carrying our most pure heart that makes us look beautifull??
which one is more appealing? a girl wearing a oh-so-not-elegant burberry pattern shirt but does not look good on her??or a girl who just wear a plain polo shirt but dress up gracefully???
what do u guys reckon??
what defines a person? what makes a person that person?
does a person look better if they use a latest phone on the market??
will a person look better if they eat uber-pricey, unhealthy, fatty food??
or maybe he/she looks better if he/she eats so-called-healthy0but-in-fact-not caesar salad??
fyi, caesar salad is so fatty...!! dont ear caesar salad for the sake of salad-thing because it will make u -still- fatt..!!
at the end of the day, it is your choice to define a beautiful girl.
you choose to be the person you want yourself to be.
beacuse i, personally, believe that if you are yourself, then you will look gorgeous doesnt matter who you are, how do you look, whether you are having a bad hair day, or just wearing a t-shirt and jeans.
the beauty is inside. not outside.
does not matter how you dress, what phone do you use, is it jimmy choo you are wearing, you look gorgeous if you are gorgeous inside.
life is full of choices.
life is hard per se. dont make it harder by trying to be someone else just to please people because you cannot please everybody.
you are who you wanted to be. you already chose to be who you are.
you are who you are and be who you want to be.
agreed???=)
Friday, June 5, 2009
the one with the withdrawal of her best friend..
Been long since the last post..haha
Anyway, I’ve got a lil bit of problem here.
I have a good friend. A guy.
Just recently I feel that he’s withdrawing himself.
I wanted to ask “hey dude what happened?” but I can’t. Don’t ask me why.. I just cannot. Hahaha.. call me conservative if u want..LOL
Has he found himself a girlfriend and he is afraid that she might get jealous?? Wooww.. Im tempted to think that way but less likely..hahaha but anyway, who knows??=)
Or is he trying to tell me that he felt I like him and he’s trying to tell me “I don’t like u mate. So f*ck off..” hahahaha.. will be shocking if it is..ROFL.
But yeahh.. I feel he’s withdrawing himself. The reason? Only God knows and some of his friends I reckon.
It’s kinda weird…!!! I feel weird because usually we are so close. We always joke around. Even from the way he’s joking with me I can sense that it’s somehow different. Feels like he is trying to keep some distance between us. Was it just me or he actually is???
And the other day, he accused me –jokingly- that I lied to him..
WTH mateee!!! I didn’t lie about anything. I have never hid anything from you. You are one of my closest friends. I wont hide things from my close friends cos’ you guys are my second family..=) was this “so-called lie” is the reason for the distance??
ORRRRRR…the worst thing that I can think is that I did make a mistake!!!
OhMyDearestGod..!!! did I ?????
Anyway, I hope this weird feeling is just one sided..=)
I hope I didn’t make a mistake.. I am truly madly deeply sorry dory morry if I did.. Of course you know I didn’t mean to do so..T.T
I have another idea popped out in my head just a moment ago. Maybe he does that for "this" reason that is kinda inappropriate to put it down here..
Not that he liked me because I believe not for any shit on this world he will!!!hahaha=p *and I am pretty sure this reason cannot be categorized as inappropriate*
so, just leave this out.
SO, to finish this...
xoxo my dear friend..i miss the old you =(
and please let me know when the old you has came backk..:)
Ps: exam period is coming ahead, I expect a weight gain of 1-2 kilos in the next two weeks..
PPs: A gain of 3-4 kilos is also expected taking into account my swollen body resulted from staying up late..haha
Ps again: also I might be an anti-social person until 22 June 2009. And I might experience more sensitive feeling during that period so just bear with me for a moment..hahahaha=p *finding excuses*
PPs again: Yaaaayyyyy..I still have an elective subject left so, it means, I can take Chinese as my elective. And believe me, I will take the level that wont bore the hell out of me, but will make me graduate by the end of this year..!!!hahaha=)
Anyway, I’ve got a lil bit of problem here.
I have a good friend. A guy.
Just recently I feel that he’s withdrawing himself.
I wanted to ask “hey dude what happened?” but I can’t. Don’t ask me why.. I just cannot. Hahaha.. call me conservative if u want..LOL
Has he found himself a girlfriend and he is afraid that she might get jealous?? Wooww.. Im tempted to think that way but less likely..hahaha but anyway, who knows??=)
Or is he trying to tell me that he felt I like him and he’s trying to tell me “I don’t like u mate. So f*ck off..” hahahaha.. will be shocking if it is..ROFL.
But yeahh.. I feel he’s withdrawing himself. The reason? Only God knows and some of his friends I reckon.
It’s kinda weird…!!! I feel weird because usually we are so close. We always joke around. Even from the way he’s joking with me I can sense that it’s somehow different. Feels like he is trying to keep some distance between us. Was it just me or he actually is???
And the other day, he accused me –jokingly- that I lied to him..
WTH mateee!!! I didn’t lie about anything. I have never hid anything from you. You are one of my closest friends. I wont hide things from my close friends cos’ you guys are my second family..=) was this “so-called lie” is the reason for the distance??
ORRRRRR…the worst thing that I can think is that I did make a mistake!!!
OhMyDearestGod..!!! did I ?????
Anyway, I hope this weird feeling is just one sided..=)
I hope I didn’t make a mistake.. I am truly madly deeply sorry dory morry if I did.. Of course you know I didn’t mean to do so..T.T
I have another idea popped out in my head just a moment ago. Maybe he does that for "this" reason that is kinda inappropriate to put it down here..
Not that he liked me because I believe not for any shit on this world he will!!!hahaha=p *and I am pretty sure this reason cannot be categorized as inappropriate*
so, just leave this out.
SO, to finish this...
xoxo my dear friend..i miss the old you =(
and please let me know when the old you has came backk..:)
Ps: exam period is coming ahead, I expect a weight gain of 1-2 kilos in the next two weeks..
PPs: A gain of 3-4 kilos is also expected taking into account my swollen body resulted from staying up late..haha
Ps again: also I might be an anti-social person until 22 June 2009. And I might experience more sensitive feeling during that period so just bear with me for a moment..hahahaha=p *finding excuses*
PPs again: Yaaaayyyyy..I still have an elective subject left so, it means, I can take Chinese as my elective. And believe me, I will take the level that wont bore the hell out of me, but will make me graduate by the end of this year..!!!hahaha=)
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
In His own time, in His own unique ways..
I have just found out that one of my friend had just had her breast operated.
Not cancer, just a lump but still that was a strange thing in your body which in the future might *or might not* grow into a cancer.
I confirmed to another friend what was actually happened.
Grey's Anatomy come to the rescue...=)
A friend gave her grey's anatomy.
What happened was this friend of mine knew something felt so weird with her boobs but only after watching grey's anatomy that she realised thing maybe that bad.
That is actually the episodes where an old lady came to the hospital saying something is wrong with her boobs and this episode just happened to be similar to my friend's case that she went to see a doctor..
So happeningg..!!
God has His own plan, His own ways, His own time.
Human can make thounsands of plans, but none of them can override God's.
This friend of mine for example.
Who wants to have problems like hers??
Noone!!
That was every girls' bad dream. Noone wants to have any lump on her breast.
That will not make a woman Not-woman..at least in my opinion.
But still, it might bring any psychological effect as we live in Indonesia where people's opinion dictates the way we have to behave.
I am amazed..I am truly truly amazed.
God is good. God is amazing.
Who would think that one episode of a drama can save my friend's life??
I guess this might have happened a lot of times but this time it happened in front of me.
I witnessed the goodness of God.
Everything happen in His time...
Im still amazed..No words can describee..
One lesson I got here,
Believe in God..
Have faith in Him and everything is gonna be fine because He has good plan and not a plan of destruction..
Another lessonn......
WATCH GREY'S ANATOMYYY..!!!!!
It's good, people..
And its usefulness is pro..hahaha=p
PS: Dedicated to my friend Valen..
Everything is gonna be fine darl..Jesus loves u..and so do I..=)
Not cancer, just a lump but still that was a strange thing in your body which in the future might *or might not* grow into a cancer.
I confirmed to another friend what was actually happened.
Grey's Anatomy come to the rescue...=)
A friend gave her grey's anatomy.
What happened was this friend of mine knew something felt so weird with her boobs but only after watching grey's anatomy that she realised thing maybe that bad.
That is actually the episodes where an old lady came to the hospital saying something is wrong with her boobs and this episode just happened to be similar to my friend's case that she went to see a doctor..
So happeningg..!!
God has His own plan, His own ways, His own time.
Human can make thounsands of plans, but none of them can override God's.
This friend of mine for example.
Who wants to have problems like hers??
Noone!!
That was every girls' bad dream. Noone wants to have any lump on her breast.
That will not make a woman Not-woman..at least in my opinion.
But still, it might bring any psychological effect as we live in Indonesia where people's opinion dictates the way we have to behave.
I am amazed..I am truly truly amazed.
God is good. God is amazing.
Who would think that one episode of a drama can save my friend's life??
I guess this might have happened a lot of times but this time it happened in front of me.
I witnessed the goodness of God.
Everything happen in His time...
Im still amazed..No words can describee..
One lesson I got here,
Believe in God..
Have faith in Him and everything is gonna be fine because He has good plan and not a plan of destruction..
Another lessonn......
WATCH GREY'S ANATOMYYY..!!!!!
It's good, people..
And its usefulness is pro..hahaha=p
PS: Dedicated to my friend Valen..
Everything is gonna be fine darl..Jesus loves u..and so do I..=)
Friday, May 1, 2009
A journey of faith in Jesus
I want to share a very very interesting reflection I heard from a friend who got this from a priest and she really did contemplate this.
“Jesus is your GPS”
WHAT??!!
Yes people, Jesus is your GPS.
“Jesus is your GPS”
WHAT??!!
Yes people, Jesus is your GPS.
Do you know how GPS work? I bet every people do.
Jesus in some ways guide you throughout your life like GPS do. He will tell you which direction to go, which turn to take, where the round about is, etc. Jesus has the map of your life, all roads and streets you can take.
This friend of mine shared her experience with using a GPS. She knows how to go to the place she usually has her cell group. However, that day, having heard of this reflection, she tried the GPS. What happened was that GPS gave her a different route than the one she usually takes. As she had some spare time she thought she might as well try this different route. This route was a total different from the route she is familiar with but having said that she tried to “have faith” in the GPS and start following the route it gave her. While driving she was contemplating about the GPS being the analogy of her journey of faith.
Even when you are still in the womb, Jesus has calculated your route in coming back to Him. Jesus has given you the best possible way to find Him. He does know you and your limit as a human and therefore He calculated roads and street that will not give you obstacles that you cannot deal with. But what always happen is that you are always get distracted with things on the way. You always made your way out of calculated route and even though the GPS has told you “wrong turn..wrong turnn..” you will make that turn anyway because you found something very interesting on that road. Every GPS will re-calculate your route and so does Jesus. He will re-calculate your journey so that you will get back on track. The re-calculation will sometimes take a long time and sometimes not. It will sometimes also direct you to road that you are not familiar with and maybe through road that you find it difficult to deal with. However, be assured that that road will take you to your destination safe and sound for Lord has promised us plans to prosper and no to harm, and a future filled with hope (Jeremiah 29:11).
In the end, my friend chose to go the way the GPS directed her and she arrived safely at her destination. That is exactly how we should keep our faith in Jesus.
When your GPS starts to annoy you turn it OFF but don’t turn Jesus OFF.. Stay tune in Him always =)
Install a new GPS when your old GPS is broken, but never ever “install” a new Jesus because Jesus never obsolete.
Last but not least, Jesus is not a GPS and a GPS is not Jesus. But have faith in Jesus like you do in your GPS.
VaniGo 020509
Thanks to Tina dan tumpangannya pulang dan cerita2 menarik yang selalu di-share sama saya=)
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Why is it called friendship??
Have you ever thought why people called it friendship?
Friendship is unlike love.
whilst love can be one sided, friendship can never be.
That is why to me friendship is more important than love.
Why friend+ship?
because when you become friend you are on the same boat.
You experienced the same thing, you know things that the other know.
You suffered from the same weather, you fight the same enemy.
When something goes wrong you fix things together.
You complete each other in a way a love sometimes failed to do.
If that is so then why hiding things from each other?
Hiding things is a form of lying.
Friend never lied to each other because once you did friends can never trust each other again.
It will just damn well ruin your journey..
Anywayy...,
If eating is a crime..
Then, i missed my partners in crime..
Gendut dan Kebo...i miss u so muchhhhh..=p
Hope your grandpa is okayy..
I do really miss our outings.
Miss your big apetite..*uuppsss*
Miss the dvd hunting..
Come here soon matesss...*and dont forget bring me some richeese*
P.S: of kros I do miss Rosa my partner in good deeds as well as bad deeds..lol
Friendship is unlike love.
whilst love can be one sided, friendship can never be.
That is why to me friendship is more important than love.
Why friend+ship?
because when you become friend you are on the same boat.
You experienced the same thing, you know things that the other know.
You suffered from the same weather, you fight the same enemy.
When something goes wrong you fix things together.
You complete each other in a way a love sometimes failed to do.
If that is so then why hiding things from each other?
Hiding things is a form of lying.
Friend never lied to each other because once you did friends can never trust each other again.
It will just damn well ruin your journey..
Anywayy...,
If eating is a crime..
Then, i missed my partners in crime..
Gendut dan Kebo...i miss u so muchhhhh..=p
Hope your grandpa is okayy..
I do really miss our outings.
Miss your big apetite..*uuppsss*
Miss the dvd hunting..
Come here soon matesss...*and dont forget bring me some richeese*
P.S: of kros I do miss Rosa my partner in good deeds as well as bad deeds..lol
Sunday, February 8, 2009
8th February '09
I think there is something different with one of my friends.
2 hari yang lalu dia bilang nanti Rabu bakal undergo a high risk surgery. Kelihatannya hari itu dia khawatir banget. Reasonable sih soalnya kalo dipikir2 if I were him ya sama saya juga bakal khawatir sangat.
And today, dia beda jadi pendiam. Usually,kita chat seharian dari pagi sampe malem ngomong ini itu. Hari ini dia lebih pendiam. Ga tau dia ada memang lg ada masalah lain yang ga bisa cerita ke aku atau emang masih kepikiran masalah surgery itu.
I feel like as a friend I'm so useless ga bisa bantuin apa2. Yah aku juga ga expect dia bakal cerita masalahnya kalo emang terlalu pribadi sihh. I just feel like helping if I can.
Well,anyway if u read this u know who u are dan soal surgery itu percaya aja lah sama si prof kan om anda juga suka tanya2 sama dia berarti dia bisa dipercaya tohh hehehe. The rest let God do His wonderful works. I believe ur gonna be okayyy..=)
I can do nothing juga paling2 cuma comfort u doankk..mau diajak ngmg soal penyakitnya juga ga ngertiii..hehehe=p
Anyway, tiba2 kepikiran dalam pikiranku. Nasib orang di dunia ini bener2 unpredictable.
There is this person I know. 3 minggu lalu orang ini masih baik2 masih bisa tertawa bercanda tadi pagi tiba2 ada kabar orang ini meninggal *my condolences*.
On the other hand, ga kebayang juga malem ini bakal have fun se-fun2-nya. Hehehe.
Hmm..it's late, time to sleep.
Perasaan sudah lebih enteng kalo ginii..haha.
Seharian kepikiran ada apa dengan konco plek saya iniii.. Apakah saya dicuekin karena kesalahan saya hari ituu??? I'm so sorry yah kalo iyaaa=(
Susah juga yah kalo jadi org terlalu gampang mikirin org laen. Tp jd org terlalu cuek ya susah. Pusing ga tuh???=)
2 hari yang lalu dia bilang nanti Rabu bakal undergo a high risk surgery. Kelihatannya hari itu dia khawatir banget. Reasonable sih soalnya kalo dipikir2 if I were him ya sama saya juga bakal khawatir sangat.
And today, dia beda jadi pendiam. Usually,kita chat seharian dari pagi sampe malem ngomong ini itu. Hari ini dia lebih pendiam. Ga tau dia ada memang lg ada masalah lain yang ga bisa cerita ke aku atau emang masih kepikiran masalah surgery itu.
I feel like as a friend I'm so useless ga bisa bantuin apa2. Yah aku juga ga expect dia bakal cerita masalahnya kalo emang terlalu pribadi sihh. I just feel like helping if I can.
Well,anyway if u read this u know who u are dan soal surgery itu percaya aja lah sama si prof kan om anda juga suka tanya2 sama dia berarti dia bisa dipercaya tohh hehehe. The rest let God do His wonderful works. I believe ur gonna be okayyy..=)
I can do nothing juga paling2 cuma comfort u doankk..mau diajak ngmg soal penyakitnya juga ga ngertiii..hehehe=p
Anyway, tiba2 kepikiran dalam pikiranku. Nasib orang di dunia ini bener2 unpredictable.
There is this person I know. 3 minggu lalu orang ini masih baik2 masih bisa tertawa bercanda tadi pagi tiba2 ada kabar orang ini meninggal *my condolences*.
On the other hand, ga kebayang juga malem ini bakal have fun se-fun2-nya. Hehehe.
Hmm..it's late, time to sleep.
Perasaan sudah lebih enteng kalo ginii..haha.
Seharian kepikiran ada apa dengan konco plek saya iniii.. Apakah saya dicuekin karena kesalahan saya hari ituu??? I'm so sorry yah kalo iyaaa=(
Susah juga yah kalo jadi org terlalu gampang mikirin org laen. Tp jd org terlalu cuek ya susah. Pusing ga tuh???=)
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